


Bright’s Daughter, Part One: Oh, The Joys Of Fatherhood!

by ADifferentKindOfDanger



Series: Bright’s Daughter [1]
Category: SCP Foundation
Genre: 1980s, Alternate Universe - Children, Angst, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Childhood, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Polyamory, Secret Relationship, Warm Fuzzy Feelings, clight - Freeform, music references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2020-01-22 23:10:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 68,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18537373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADifferentKindOfDanger/pseuds/ADifferentKindOfDanger
Summary: Today is Bring-Your-Daughter-To-Work-Day at Site 19. Obviously, it was intended as a joke, but when you have an autistic daughter at home, obsessed with your job and everything you do there, you might just consider bringing her...





	1. Chapter One: Present Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited on 17/11/19; felt i really needed to clear this up. it was bugging me that this was the first thing people saw when they clicked on a fic that means a lot to me and is doing a lot for my recovery, and i want people to think highly of my writing skills because i do have them. also wanted to clear the relationship between the 4 parents up + correctly set the fic in the right time because i didn't feel like i was before imo. i know i should be working on the next chapter but i desperately wanted to fix both this and maybe the third chapter, idk yet.

"Dad. _Dad._ " Jackie Bright shook the lump, slapping it on the back and trying to rouse it. Her arms, though somewhat strong for her age, could only do so much.

"Can you give me a moment?" A muffled, tired voice came from beneath clumps of bedsheets, duvets separated from their covers.

Jackie let out an exasperated sigh. This was not the first time her father would not get out of bed, and it sure as hell wouldn't be the last. But she also knew that today was the worst possible day for her father to act like this.

"We are meant to be there in forty minutes, so you need to get the fuck out of bed!" She had been awake ten minutes, and had already resigned to swearing.

"What do you mean, we?" He grumbled, trying to cover his face with his sheets. "There's not anything happening, is there?"

"It's bring your daughter to work day! You've been promising this for months!"

"Fuck!"

Jack Bright was now awake, eyes wide open, gasping for air, and fumbling for glasses, shoving the pair on his face. He was stabbed in the eye by one of the temples of his glasses, eventually getting them in the right place. His young daughter came in to sight; she was essentially a small version of him. She had cropped scarlet hair, pale skin and thick circular glasses that fell down her small nose all too often. Her face and neck were smothered in colorful band-aids and she was reaching to scratch the back of her neck, but he swept her hand away and stumbled out of bed.

"There are PopTarts in my bag." Jackie looked up at the adult before her. Jack was a relatively short man, but he seemed gargantuan to an almost-ten-year-old. "I'm going to go sit in the van."

"You go do that, baby." Jack crooned, close to falling down. He balanced himself by holding on to the cabinet to his side.

"No time for affection!" She hissed.

"Why are you so angry, honey? Is there something wrong? We have a while to get there, you can tell me." He knelt down to face her, and her eyes swirled around the room, anywhere but his face.

"I just want to get there." She sighed, a tone of determination in her small voice.

"I'm going to go shower now, do you know where the keys are?"

"They're on the hat rack." Jackie nodded at him, fiddling with one of the strings on her bag.

"Atta girl, I'll see you in a few minutes."

Jackie left the room and navigated through the hall, opened the baby gate and slid down the stairs on her back. She stumbled a little while standing up, ultimately tripping over Jack's lab coat - the very one she was wearing. Worn, patched up, and stitched to oblivion, it had served its purpose as a blanket for the past several years. Today, she felt it was time to wear it to work.

She then came face to face with her very first problem of the day. She was much too short to reach the hat rack. With every element of critical thinking she could muster, she pulled down the hat rack and yanked the keys off, then resumed it to its original position. That seemed about right. Her own hat had fallen off the rack during the debacle; she plucked it from the floor and nestled it on her head.

She thrust open the front door and crept from the house, careful not to slip on the dewy pebbles below her strappy sandals. For an October morning, it was quite warm, nothing like the summer but not unpleasantly cold. She hopped over the rocks and paced carefully down the hill, when the van came in to view. She took a chance and ran towards it, thankfully not falling over and scraping her legs on the pinkish gravel that paved the incline. She jammed the key into the silver lock, forced the door open with both arms and sat down in her seat.

Meanwhile, Jack Bright was busy picking up the pieces his hasty daughter had forgotten to attend to, and things he thought she might need over the course of the day. A bunny, a blanket and a box of cassette tapes had wriggled their way into his tired, fumbling grasp but he didn't know what she'd taken in that little bag of hers. He'd found a checklist she'd made, but he didn't know if she'd followed that checklist or not.

Fine. The bunny and the blanket would have to do. She'd probably weaselled her cassette player and a fair few of her tapes out in her bag, but he searched the hellscape of her desk just to be sure. If she didn't have that damned music player, she wouldn't let him forget it! It wasn't there, so hopefully, she had brought it herself. He wrapped up the bunny in the hand-knitted blanket and held the bundle in his arms before making the trek downstairs.

Jackie had left the door open for him, and her footsteps bounced down the gravel, meaning that thankfully she'd made it there without falling.He assumed his place as the driver, and slipped the little bundle next to his daughter. She looked at it, confused, but understood after a few moments of deliberation.

"Ready to go, honey?" Jack chirped, and Jackie nodded. The van sprang into life, and Jack began to drive down twisting paths, and eventually roads.

Today was Jackie Bright's first day at the Foundation, specifically Site 19, meaning that maybe she'd get to see something interesting or two before the end of the day. Maybe. She wanted to be just like her daddy - from her knowledge, he was very important, and he did many important things - but she knew that was going to take a while, and a lot of social skills she didn't exactly have. 

Her Uncle Alto had said she shared ambitions with her father, but his downfall was that he'd never been particularly responsible. He'd assured her, at some point, that he trusted her to be quite responsible, and even if not now, she would be in the future. He told her he could sense it, and to some degree, she trusted him. She felt like she had to, she'd known him her whole life.

Both her mothers, however, had said it was dangerous. And her other father, he'd been entirely against it. So against it, that he'd told her she shouldn't go. She hadn't wanted to listen to him - and she knew her daddy would keep her safe while she was there, because he knew the place. He'd always looked after her! She wasn't given much of a choice by her parents, but she'd decided to lie instead, and told her daddy she was allowed to go. They probably knew she was going, anyway.

She sometimes wished her family was a little more simple. Having two mothers, and two fathers could be confusing, and sometimes even overstimulating. It felt like there was an endless amount of names to memories, favors to remember, presents, birthdays and cards constantly mixed up in her head like mushy soup. It would be a lot easier to have one mother, and one father, or two mothers or two fathers. If it meant there was less to remember she would enjoy it.

She would be happy living with her daddy, her uncle Alto and her dog, Shepherd, but she also liked her mom, and would be happy if she was there, too. It was a hard choice for her to make, definitely, and she would prefer the adults around her to make it for her.

Jack thought his daughter was a weird kid, and in a good way. It was like talking to a small, volatile adult. Swore too much, but whatever. She was happy, and that's what mattered to him. She was a tiny, angry copy of him with an inside that wanted success, and he could dig that. 

Of course, he worried sometimes that her hobbies of filing false reports about toys that went missing, or looked 'anomalous', handing them in to him, slipping them in to Clef's bag or worse, organising tests with Barbie dolls in orange outfits, and turning her room into a mini office was subtracting from her childhood. 

But then he looked at her. The hand me down lab coat that hung off her, the messy hair, the ink stains on her hands from her typewritten reports, a hand drawn foundation logo on the top. He'd see her staring down that toy, or that grape with a magnifying glass, and he couldn't stop himself from moving it to a different place when she wasn't looking, just to make her an expert in skips that could teleport. He'd see she made a formatting error, and 'mark' her work, slipping it back to her when he noticed the wrong one in his bag. Showing her the right way to format her tests, sacrificing his old G.I Joes for a variety of test subjects. Hell, he'd even given her an 'assignment', and minus a few spelling errors, she produced a report that he 'handed in to his supervisor.' Pretending to be a researcher was an odd hobby, but one he knew how to indulge nonetheless.

And sure, he lied at times. He told her that she'd received commendation from the highest ranks of the Site, but it was really just him and Alto gushing over what seemed like the sweetest, most innocent thing in the world. It helped her feel like she was a part of it all, helped keep her mind off the problems between her parents, helped her learn and understand the world in her own little way.

He just wished she didn't want to follow through with it. Why couldn't she have gone in to being a policewoman, or casting spells, or working on the farm; did she _have,_ to be a researcher? It was by far the most dangerous job any of her parents had. Then again, he didn't understand the other's jobs. They probably all thought the same thing. Police-people get abused. Casting spells can result in explosions. Combine harvesters are scary. Maybe the twins would have a better aspiration, he had to hope that.

For a moment, he remembered something from ten years ago. The second ultrasound. He hadn't gone to the first, Jackie's other father had instead. Jackie's mothers had gone to both, even though only one of them was carrying.


	2. Chapter Two - Appointment Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack remembers the point at which he decided he was very much Jackie’s father, and decided how much he loved her, too.

A/N: I was meant to post this last night, but the formatting took a while, because the formatting on this site.... kinda sucks, tbh.   
Anyway, as a fanfic writer, I want to be able to say something; Im Not posTing Again until I Get ten Good Reviows.   
The above statement isn’t true, of course. I will be posting. I don’t care what other people think, I simply spent too long on this damn fic to not have other people read it. Ten Good Reviows would be nice, of course, but the SCP-Foundation seems to be severely lacking in presence on Ao3.   
This is where it starts getting a lot less jokey, and actual relationships between characters start to form. Sorry if the jokiness of Jackie’s inner monologue pulled you in.   
Note: There’s one flashback for every chapter, so it’s present day, flashback, present day, flashback. Certain flashbacks are very. Very. Very. Long. Brace yourselves, essentially.   
Anyway. I am probably boring the ever loving FUCK out of you. On with the show!

 

Jack had looked over to the woman to the left of him, and softly crooned at her while the nurse was gone. The other mother had gotten caught up on the farm, she'd be a bit late, so it was just them in the room. While he had been running his hands down flights of black hair in the dark room, she'd been trying to get his attention, and he couldn't hear, he'd blocked it out.

_"Jack? Jack, hello?"_

He heard her, but he couldn't register her as talking, especially not to him. He ran a finger over her cheekbone, something he'd always done to her, after dinner, in bed, on dates.

_"Jack?"_ He heard her sing, before she shot him back in to the room with a kiss.   
He'd snapped back then, focusing on the woman in front of him and the soft glow that radiated from the other side of her. 

_"Jack, my love, what's got you so dizzy? Are you scared?"_

_"Me? I'm not scared. I'm not scared by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just good looking."_ He drew a laugh from her, the sound like music. He was shaking, and he was hoping she wouldn't notice, but of course, she clocked it with those beautiful, sultry eyes of hers.

_"But you're shaking, Jack."_ Every time she said his name, he felt a wave of electric down his back. Catching just the tail end of it was enough to make his the hairs on his back stand on end. _"You are, you're scared."_

_"I'm not scared. I'm shaking cause I caught my reflection in the mirror earlier."_

_"If I give you a kiss, will you tell me the truth?"_

_"I'm already telling the truth, hon."_

_"But you'll never pass up a kiss, Jack..."_

She'd grabbed him by the chin, and kissed him on the lips, the stubble scratching her face, but she didn't care. His glasses hit her's, lenses barring against each other. His considerably thicker lenses barred him from her. If only he could have kissed her so passionately and still seen her face. She'd let go of him, thrown him back by the control of her index finger and thumb. She'd sensed the nurse's arrival, and pushed him away just in time. The light had come on, and ambushed his eyes with the brightness.

He'd wiped the lipstick off his face with his black sleeve, and pushed the bridge of his glasses back up, they'd fallen down in the kiss.

_"Are you ready to start now?"_ The nurse asked, motioning to the machine.

Jack flipped his eyes once more to the woman besides him, begging for help. He didn't know what to say, and he had a feeling she knew what to. She was so in control.

_"Actually, we're waiting for someone else, she isn't here yet."_

_"I'll give you guys a few more minutes, then."_

The nurse left the room, and she turned to face Jack again, her hand caressing his shaking shoulder.

_"What is it then, Jack? The big secret?"_

_"I am fucking terrified."_

_"Aww."_

_"I'm not even joking, I'm dreading this."_

_"And you're not even the one on the hospital bed. I mean, you're a doctor. You know it's okay, of all people."_

_"Bold of you to assume I'm scared for you, hon."_

_"Really? And why are you scared?"_  
Jack took a moment to consider, biting his lip. He was worried, for a few reasons.

_"Scared for the little ragamuffin in there, of course, hon."_ He pointed to her swollen stomach, stroking around the bottom of it without thinking. _"Babies are so... temperamental. It's such a tiny chance."_

He took an outwards sigh of relief, but she knew there was something beneath that sigh. Something else was bugging him, and she was getting to the bottom of it.

_"Mm, and what's really bothering you, Jack?"_ She spoke in that way again. She uttered his name with such a tone to it, and it made him want to kiss her and do other things to say the least. Nobody could do it, say his name, like her. It softened the words in his throat up like butter, forcing them out. Like her finger was a magnet that drew them out his mouth as it travelled up his neck and down his chin.

_"Well, I'm fucking terrified for myself."_ He said, taking a deep breath out. She listened intently, tilting her head. _"What if I'm not a good dad? Or if I hate being a parent? What if I don't like the baby? Hell, I've never even held one before, my parents didn’t trust me with my siblings until they were older! I have, quite frankly, no clue what I'm meant to be doing in this."_

_"I've no experience with babies either. But there are four of us, I'm sure we can figure out what to do between us. And to be this worried... you care."_

_"What if I'm not the dad? Am I not going to get that connection? It could be either one of us."_ He put his head in his hands.

_"Hey, Jack,"_ She said, lifting his head up. _"I know you're the father. We were together for a few nights, and every one of those I got too hot to demand you put something on. Maybe I wanted this deep down, I don't know."_

_"Maybe you didn't use protection-"_

_"Jack, I knew what I was doing. Let's leave it at that."_

He sat there for a moment, thinking about what she'd just said. He'd been too lost in the heat of the moment to even realise he hadn't been wearing a condom. His shoulders tensed up, and his hand started caressing her cheekbone again. He pushed his glasses out of his face and pushed hers up, and kissed her, feeling the closeness he'd craved to have. He kept his eyes shut, but he kissed her much longer this time, unaware of any of his surroundings.

_"Have I walked in on something?"_ He heard a voice from behind him before pulling back and looking back to see his other girlfriend, holding a large box in her arms. _"Hey there, you guys."_

She sat down, sliding the box under her chair, and Jack scrambled to push his glasses up.

_"Morning, babygirl."_ The woman to his left said to her, blowing a kiss. _"Got the spare parts?"_

_"You bet. And, cheap too."_

_"Oh, that's good."_ She said, nodding.

Their conversation became a blur as Jack blanked out again, his glasses now fully adjusted and ready to see, but he didn't have it in him. He was too distraught by what she'd said. Was he really not that good at recognising her emotions? She wanted a *baby.* 

He remembered. She'd asked once. She'd asked how he'd feel about having babies. He said he'd be happy. Oh, for fuck sake! Why couldn't he have seen that?

_"Jack!"_ The woman in the hospital bed snapped.

_"Hi, hon."_ He replied to her, rather quickly as well.

_"You need to stop spacing out, babe. She's coming in a moment."_

_"The nurse?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Jack, come outside a moment."_ The woman in the chair stood up, motioning to the door. _"There's something we gotta discuss."_

Although she looked pissed, the woman in the bed allowed him to stand up and leave the room. He left the door a touch open, to let her know he was still there for her. He didn't want her to be alone, but quite obviously, they needed a private chat.

_"So, you told her about how you were feeling?"_ She suddenly looked excited, leaning her arm against the white wall.

_"Yeah. She had to tease it out of me, even then."_ He took a moment to brush the dust off his lab coat, trying to avoid eye contact with the woman in front of him.

_"Well, I'm glad you did."_ She rolled her eyes to the side. _"I was kinda getting worried about you, you were scared about this whole ordeal."_

_"Lord knows I'm fine now."_

_"Are you sure you're fine in here? I know the idea makes you feel a little uncomfortable. I can cover the screen if you really can't do it."_

_"Well, I'm going to do it. That's my son, or my daughter."_

_"Fuck yeah, is that confidence I hear?"_

_"I mean... she told me that I was the father, so I'm feeling a little more confident about the whole thing. She's going to want me to be there, and I have to be there."_

_"Baby's yours? Wow, I didn't expect her to tell anyone the father, I didn't think she knew."_

_"I needed it. She knew I was... paranoid, about something I don't want to talk about in the fear of it sounding stupid. But she understood."_

_"She's like that."_ She nodded, and took a breath out. _"She does it with me, too. We went out a few months ago, we had a heart to heart. God, I love her."_

_"Me too. I love her so much."_

_"Glad to see you're excited, Jack. This is the happiest I've seen you in a while."_

_"You know, I love you too."_

_"Yeah, you better."_ She laughed, sighing. _"We should go back in."_  
She lead him back in, and he sat on his chair again, resting his chin on the end of the bed.

_"I've got some stuff to check a moment, could you guys excuse me?"_

They were alone in the room again, and Jack held his hand out for her to hold, which she took and held up.

_"Aren't you meant to be at work? Isn't this your lunch break?"_

_"Oh, fuck them, hon. They wouldn't give me the day off for this appointment, so I'm giving myself a break."_

_"Aw, babe, I mean a cautionary to you? That's so cute."_

_"Apparently it's not a 'valid medical appointment,' but it is. And I don't think I'd miss it for the world.'"_ Jack blushed in embarrassment, and she noticed his heartbeat quicken.

_"So, what's so important at work? They're not cruel like this, usually."_

_"Paperwork."_

_"Aww, Jack doesn't wanna do his paperwork?"_

_"Well, hon... You said it yourself. I put a kid in you. And I feel like I should be, what's that word?"_

_"Responsible?"_

_"Yeah, responsible."_ He paused for a moments, shuddering. _"God, that feels so weird on the tongue."_

_"It probably is, for you especially."_ Her eyes lit up, and crinkled at the edges as a smile grew on her face. _"But when the time comes, you will be. I know you will."_

_"Glad to know you think so highly of me, hon."_

He leant his chin on the edge of the bed again, letting her hold one of his hands, and stroking her cheekbone with the other.

_"The nurse is going to come soon. You think we'll get to know the sex? Or do you think the baby will be in some position that makes it hard to figure out?"_

_"Maybe. But it doesn't matter to me, hon."_ He took a pause to consider his next words. _"You know what does matter?"_

_"What?"_ She asked, dubious of any compliments that may be hiding under his innocent question.

_"The baby does."_

She smiled, releasing a breath she'd been holding a long time. Jack still held her hand, and leant over to kiss her on the head. She was so cute.   
He wanted a girl, personally, so she could be beautiful just like her mama. Not that he wasn't gorgeous, of course, but punnet squares he'd sketched in anticipation, just in case, made him think of a girl. He'd dreamed of a little girl when he was younger, for hell's sake. 'Jack's Daughter' had such a ring to it. And, he didn't feel his *beautiful* features wouldn't work on anyone other than him. But he didn't care, that was the thing. A boy would be just as good.

He couldn't bring himself, in those moments, to call the baby his son or his daughter. He was afraid of it being real to some extent, the thought of a real, tangible thing too far from what he could cope with. He was a scientist with a lack of social skills, coping with having a baby was not something he was going to adapt to all too quickly. His girlfriends and boyfriend were the closest he got to a real relationship, cause *fuck*, he was even shifty with Clef, and they were relationships that had grown on touch, something he was good at doing. His kissing and his touching had spurred her to become so close to him, by making her interested, making her guide him on what to tell her. But he couldn't do things like that with a baby. He had to build that relationship without any outside help.

He was determined to do it, of course, but he didn't know how. It hit him then. _Clef! Clef was the answer!_

He looked back at the woman to his side, breathing in and out.

_"I'll be with you two in a moment. Has she arrived yet?"_ The nurse peeked in, turning the light off again. 

Jack had the audacity to say something this time; _"Yes, she's here."_ He faced the nurse. _"She's gone to check something."_

He caught her smile out the corner of his eye; he was finally taking some kind of initiative.

_"Right, I'll be back in a bit, then. Five minutes do you two good? I'm very busy today, there's a lady with triplets!"_

_"Oh, I'm so glad that's not us."_ Jack exhaled, putting his hand on his chest. The woman besides him laughed, agreeing. The nurse laughed too.

_"I know! Having three kids is hard enough, but three at once?"_ The nurse sighed, smiling, and was on her way again.

She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her, smiling.

_"Jack!"_ She looked awestruck. She was so used to talking for him.

_"No more social interaction for me, hon. That's me done for today."_

_"I'm proud, Jack. I'm proud of you."_

_"I gotta make friends with a baby in, what, four months? I'm gonna try talking to Clef a bit more, I think."_

_"Good boy."_ She teased. _"Clef seems nice, anyway. As long as you don't take any drugs or end up in the local paper for defenestrating an elephant, I'll be fine."_

_"What if I just ride the elephant on to a bouncy castle?"_

_"I don't think I'd be as angry."_  
The door opened, and the other woman entered, sitting down on the stool again, guarding the box with her feet.

_"You guys alright?"_

_"Yeah."_ She said, wrinkling her nose.   
_"I've got a few emails and invoices left to check for some orders placed, you guys can start, I'll pay attention in a moment."_

_"You go ahead, babygirl."_  
The nurse walked in, and smiled, and stood at the other side of the screen, preparing her gloves. Jack felt the hand holding his tighten, and squeeze twice. He felt that fear return to him, and he started to tremble slightly. He took deep breaths in and out, he bit the inside of his cheek, nipped at the skin on his lips. He sucked on his tongue and scrammed it with his teeth, held his toes together, bit at a hangnail. He wanted to scream all of a sudden, and his eyes averted the screen as the nurse switched it on, trying to look somewhere, anywhere but there.

She could tell he was fretting, and she doctored him by playing with his hand, having him focus in on her hand, tapping each of his fingers, smoothing down his chunky hangnails, her hand so smooth and pretty compared to his.

_"Anything you'd like to request before we start?"_

_"Yeah, we'd like to know the sex. And, if you could, I'd like a photo."_

_"Of course, I can get that sorted for the two of you."_

She nodded, and held Jack's hand again. He squirmed in his chair.

_"Could you lift up your vest, please?"_ The nurse asked her. He swallowed down a lump in his throat. _"That's good. I'm going to go prep the gel for you."_

Jack took another staggered breath out, and shifted uncomfortably. 

_"Breathe, Jack. You can do this. I know this makes you squeamish."_

_"I know what they're gonna do, hon, they're gonna put the gel on and then we're gonna see the baby. I'm prepared, I'm just terrified."_ He tried to seem confident, but he was still babbling.

_"Yeah, and I'm the one that's pregnant.  
Seriously, Jack! You can do it!"_

The nurse came back, holding the bottle of gel, and Jack held his hand out.

_"Could you put some of that on my hand first, please?"_

_"Of course!"_ She put a dab on the back of his hand, and he thought for a moment.

_"It's cold, hon."_

_"I know, Jack! I've done this before!"_ She said softly, smiling at him. She saw the embarrassment grow on his face. _”But, thank you for warning me."_

_"Did you miss the dating scan?"_ The nurse asked, beginning to spread the gel out on her tummy.

_"He didn't come."_ She said, wincing at the cold. _"He was scared."_

_"It's just a wee baby, can't hurt you."  
_ The nurse laughed. 

_"I'm not a doctor that focuses on biology. Chemistry, theoretical physics, is more my field."_ He admitted. 

_"Theoretical physics, huh? Sounds fancy."_

_"He's too squeamish for biology."_ She laughed. The nurse walked to behind the screen, and picked up the handheld machine. _"Jack, it's cold."_ She moaned slightly, playing with the fingers laced between his.

_"Well, I told you it was cold, hon."_ He murmured, getting closer to her.

_"You're not scared, are you, Jack? Cause I gave you a pep talk, and I'm not too keen to give you another."_

_"A little squeamish, but I'll live."_ Jack gripped her hand a little harder, but still allowed her fingers to play, long French nails to tap around. Was that what they were called? French nails? Or was it French tip? _"I am excited, despite the shaking."_

_"I know you are."_

The nurse came over with the machine, and Jack forced himself to look at the screen for the first time, bracing himself by shutting his eyes, and he opened them to see the screen, and the baby. His baby. He watched, enthralled, and he sensed the woman behind him smile.

It wasn't much. It was a simple image, black and white and shades of grey, of a little jelly bean that had two arms and two legs. It moved slightly, in chunks, frame by frame. He took a breath out; this wasn't so bad, was it? That was his baby. He could use so many variations of those words that made him feel all kinds of ways, but he wanted to protect it. He really wanted to protect his baby. There were so many things he could have done, he could have gone crazy, he could have started crying, but he sat watching as if it were nothing.

_"That looks like a girl."_ The nurse said, moving the machine around a little. _"A healthy one. I've got to look for a few more things, but she looks all clear."_

Jack watched for a few more moments before he noticed the hand squeezing his again. 

_"You look happy, Jack!"_ She enthused.

_"I am happy, hon."_ He mumbled, nodding. He had to bite down the tears brewing in his throat. The baby wasn't even here yet, but he was realising how much he loved her, this little legged jelly bean.

_"Oh my god, babe, you're crying!"_

Jack let a few of his tears drop to the floor and hugged the woman he loved the best he could, without getting in the nurse's way.

_"Oh, she looks so pretty!"_ An excited voice from behind him said.

_"She'll be prettier when she's born."_

Jack continued to cry a little into her chest, protectively holding her the best he could. He just wanted to protect her and their baby the best he could.

_"Hey, Jack, babe, are you okay?"_

_"No, I'm crying."_

_"See? You really love her. You're gonna make such a good dad."_

And with those words, he burst in to tears and had to leave the room. The farmer ran out of the room to comfort him.

_"She thinks I'm gonna be a good dad!"_

_"You're gonna be the best dad, Jack! She's right! Why are you crying?"_

_"Cause that's my baby!"_

_"You're goddamn right it is, pumpkin!"_

_"I'm pumpkin?"_

_"You're pumpkin!"_ She said, putting a hand on his shoulder. _"And my pumpkin will make the best dad."_

Jack took a deep breath out before cuddling in to his farmer and stopping his tears. She kept him there for a while, keeping him safe from whatever the hell was making him cry. Or maybe it all overwhelmed him too much. He was a wreck, but he was _their_ wreck, good for cuddles and kisses and cuddling up with after nightmares. The thin muscle on his chest allowed for the sound of a heartbeat to pound through, and it got her through the nights where she was convinced a combine harvester was after her.

_"You're brave as hell, pumpkin. And I haven't seen you this outgoing in months, what happened?"_

_"I have a friend to make."_ He nodded, sure of himself. 

_"Good pumpkin."_

_"Heya, Jack."_ He heard a voice from behind him, his heart fluttered, and synced the voice with the mother of his child, turning back to fly into a hug with her, and cuddling her so hard. She deserved it. 

_"Hiya, hon."_

_"Baby's healthy and progressing well. She's a little big for her age, meaning that she might be a bit older than we think she is, but... nothing that'll impact her."_

_"That's really good. Well done?"_ He was holding her a little gentler now, his hands resting on her hips.

_"Thank you! Though, you helped too."_ She giggled. _"I've got something for you, babe!"_

She held out a small card. Jack took it and opened it, to smile when he saw the inside. The little jelly bean, his baby girl. Baby Bright, as it were.

_"I thought I'd let you keep it, you seemed happy when you were in there. You could put it on your desk, you know, tell everyone about the baby!"_

_"I'm gonna tell everyone, hon!"_

_"I'd be happy if you did, my love."_  
He was finally filled with the confidence that he was going to be a good father.

Later, in the car, he was driving back home, so he could drive to work alone. The location of site 19, as of then, wasn't known by anyone other than those at the foundation. Postmen has ruined that over the years.

_"We've got a lot to do, babe. I think we'll have to start buying clothes and baby furniture soon."_

_"Think the baby could sleep at the end of our room for a bit?"_

_"That means no sex when she's asleep, babe."_

_"Well, when we've got a newborn, we're not going to be in the right mindset for sex, are we? Besides, when you've just had the baby, you need around six weeks of no sex and relaxation with the baby."_

_"And are you going to take up housework when everyone's out the house?"_

_"I'm taking paternal leave for at least seven weeks, hon. A week before the baby's born, and then for the six weeks after to care for you and the baby."_

_"You are so cute, Jack!"_

_"I'm not joking! I'm gonna take paternal leave whether they let me or not!"_

_"I'd be happy if you took two weeks off, babe. That's enough for me to get back on my feet."_

_"You are a first time mom, hon! The damage is going to take longer for you to rebound from! You need six weeks or you'll be internally haemorrhaging and I'm not having that!"_

_"I get you wanna look after me, Jack, but I've also got magic to clean the house. Also, that 'internal haemorrhaging' is called a period, babe."_

Jack sighed, exasperated. 

_"It's uncomfortable, and I don't want you to be uncomfortable after something as physically intensive as childbirth has happened."_

_"I love you, Jack. You're so sweet."_

_"I love you too."_

There was a brief silence where Jack turned up the radio a bit. His lover rested her arms over her belly gently, listening to the music.

_"What about names, Jack? What are you thinking?"_

Jack took a moment to think about the daughter that he was going to meet a few months. Baby Bright.

_"Jackie."_


	3. Chapter Three: Present Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack arrives at Site 19 with Jackie in tow, and ends up in Clef’s office. 106’s containment cell looks a little... odd... today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited 18/11/19: edited for time clarification because it is honestly fucking me up. this chapter especially. i'll probably edit it again later because i want to fix dialogue but this will do for now and allow me to work on the next chapter (ch9)

That flashback had taken a little longer than expected, and a now 9-year-old Jackie was gnawing on a raw PopTart to get Jack's attention.

He still had the photo on his desk, for one. It had had many homes, from the card he'd been gifted it in, to a frame, to a better frame, to the one he had now. He kept it away from the sun in his office so it'd never fade, and during containment breaches he took the photo with him in the fear of losing it.

"Dad, I'm eating one of your precious pop tarts!" She whined, picking the icing off with her finger and chewing it.

"You're an ass, Jackie." He chuckled.

"That's your fault, daddy."

"I was having a flashback." Jack reasoned, rolling his eyes.

"I saved some for you, anyway. I'm merciful!" Jackie enthused,

"I love you, babygirl." Jack smiled, keeping his eyes on the wheel, but his heart to his daughter.

"Love you too, dad."

"It looks like we'll be there in a minute." Jack said, counting the turns he had to take to get to Site 19. "Put the tarts back in the bag, Jackie."

"Bitch." Jackie replied, putting the box back in her little bag. "Dad, what are we gonna do today? Do I get to see anomalies?" Her voice lisped around the word; it was so cute.

"Maybe you will, sweetheart."

"Definitive answer." She hissed. He always forgot she needed a completely clear-cut answer.

"Probably not, they gotta keep kids like you safe."

Jack swerved through dark tunnels, taking the right twists and turns to Site 19. Jackie knew not to say anything; her father had his concentrating face on. A red light flashed; her father had prepared her for this. This was a memetic, designed to keep trespassers out. Understanding that would stop her from wanting to go back.

The tunnel continued on for a few minutes, and Jackie began to wonder just how hard it was to get to this place. She'd been to Site 19 a few times, but that was when she was a baby, and her dad wanted to show her off, or when she was a toddler and couldn't deal with going to school, so she stayed with her dad. Now, she just stayed at home. She called her parents constantly, because she wanted someone with her, but they were always busy. She was safe, yes, but they were busy. Jack, especially, and that was horrible, because she always wanted him.

She did schoolwork at home, as well as sleeping and finding whatever anomalous objects she could. They were everywhere, and they teleported. She considered the farm as anomalous in itself; things teleported when in confines of the farm. The corn. The wheat. All the crops. Random grapes that looked weird. It was honestly surprising the foundation had only found so many anomalies.

It was weird, though. She had been told that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real, but monsters, _anomalies_ , were very much real, and she'd seen them as a baby, and she was going to see one today, and she'd seen all the photos her father had given her in secret to be scrapbooked and written about, the orange tickle monster, the super dangerous crocodile that her dad had a weird obsession with.

There was now a gate at the end of the tunnel, and her father opened the minivan's window to press his keycard against a sensor.

"State name and business." A speaker blared. It was so old and gravelly-sounding. You'd think a multi-billion, maybe even trillion dollar foundation would have better equipment, but no. It sounded like a tin can!

"Jack Bright and daughter, work." Jack enunciated, knowing the microphone wasn't the best, either.

"Access granted."

The thick steel gates opened, and her father manoeuvred the minivan through, and in to the parking lot.

"Got everything, babydoll?" He said, as he parked the car.

She stared at him for a moment before replying. "Yes."

"What's wrong, Jackie?" He got out of his seat, and knelt down in front of his little girl. "Hey, come to daddy, he'll make it better." She fell in to his arms, and they sat on the flimsy floor of the van, hugging. "You scared?"

"No, I'm brave."

"I can tell you now, baby, you're gonna be safe, and fine. They really turn up the security measures when there are other people here." He said, stroking down her hair. "And, I think it's only you that's come for today. A lot of other little girls your age aren't interested in the things you're interested in, honey. So don't worry about that. Everyone's scared of me, anyway, so they're not going to come near you or touch you or be loud. Uncle Alto might, though."

"That's Uncle Alto. He's different." Jackie mumbled in to his chest, tapping her hands on his arm.

"You're right, Uncle Alto is a special case. And we love him a lot, don't we?"

Jack picked Jackie and her bag up, and got out of the minivan.

"Everyone's gonna love your lab coat, as well. It's so decadent." This was the first time he'd really hugged her today, and the first time he'd had a chance to sniff her, too. "You put mama's perfume on this before we left?" He asked, walking towards the entrance to the building. "Why'd you do that, baby?"

"In case there was a containment breach. I'd be scared, so I put mama's perfume on my lab coat."

"That's alright, baby girl. But there won't be a breach, not today. Not if I can help it."

Jack tapped his keycard against the door, Jackie still in his arms, and walked inside. The corridor was long, and white, and the floor was was a dingy blue. It was cold, Jackie felt a shiver run through her.

At the end of the corridor was a receptionist. She sat, looking quite disapprovingly at Jack, pursing her lips and tightening her eyes when she saw him. She was threatening in demeanour, and Jackie felt herself retract, like a turtle, in to Jack's arms. She suddenly didn't feel remotely confident, she felt afraid of this woman.

"Dr. Bright." She said in a cold, monotone voice. "Your keycard, please."

Jack pressed his card against the receiver twice and put his other arm around Jackie, glaring at the receptionist.

"The child. Does she have a keycard - or, any kind of reason to be here?" Her voice was so _stern._ It felt like it could freeze Jack's heart.

"Her name is Jackie-"

"Frankly, Bright, I don't care that your egotistical self burdened your child with a feminised spelling of your own name. I care if she has a keycard." The insult guilted him in to lightly bouncing the child in his arms protectively. He stepped away from the desk.

"No, she hasn't."

"I'm going to have to call in Director Clef, then." She pressed a button on her desk.

"Surely you knew it was bring your daughter to work day, Maggie." Jack intervened, attempting to stop her from calling the Director.

"No, Dr. Bright. I did not. Because no other parent is stupid enough to bring their child to a place like this."

"Maybe Jackie's a different kind of kid." Jack stumbled. Of course, he wanted to see Alto, but he had to make it seem like he didn't.

"Every parent likes to think that."

"Geez, Maggie, you must be fun at parties. The hell did they replace Sasha with you for?"

"Because Sasha died during a breach, Bright."

"Dr. Bright to you!" Jack fumed, though Maggie didn't seem to get the joke.

"Calm down." 

Alto entered the room, holding a clipboard in his hands.

"Bright." He nodded, his robot head flashing. Jack sensed a smile behind his mask. "And Jackie! How are you doing, sweetheart?"

"I'm okay." She responded, nodding at him. He seemed happy today. Sometimes, he was scary.

"The girl needs a keycard, and to be authorised."

"You need a keycard, sweetie?" Alto's voice took on such a sweet tone when he was talking to Jackie.

Jackie reached in to her bag, and found a small floral wallet, giving it to Alto. "Keycard."

"Oh, that's pretty, sweetheart! You make this yourself?"

"Yes."

"Would you mind if I put a chip on the back of this so you can get in?" Alto's babying voice, quite frankly, could be offensive. Too bad to those offended that Jackie secretly liked being babied. Not that she'd admit it, of course, but she enjoyed it. Preferably from her daddy, but exceptions could be made at times. Perhaps she tolerated Alto a little more because he'd been there her whole life, and he was close to her father and made him happy.

"No."

Alto pulled the small piece of paper out of the wallet, and for a moment, Jack saw it. In the middle of the card, she'd stuck a picture of herself, and she'd written her name underneath. She'd put sparkly stickers around the rest of the card. Alto held it to the table, and stuck a chip in the back, sliding it back in to the little wallet before giving it back to Jackie.

"Good to go, sweetheart. You'll keep that nice and safe for me, won't you? Also, Bright? I need to talk to you about your latest report."

"Sure, just let me get Jackie settled in first."

"She can come. Don't you want to work at the foundation? We can teach you some stuff."

Alto lead them through another set of doors, and in to an elevator. He pressed in a code on a keypad, and pressed his keycard against it. There was so much security, and Jackie was surprised. The elevator shot up, and she felt dizzy all of a sudden, burying her head in to her dad's chest.

"You get used to it, Jackie. Don't you worry." Jack consoled her, holding her close and petting her head. "I'm not even used to this ride yet."

"Can I not have an office on the ground floor?" Jackie whimpered.

"I'm sure I can sort something like that out, sweetie. Second and third floor are up a flight of stairs. Your dad's office is..."

"Ninth floor." Jack quickly answered the question.

"Mine is eleventh." Alto bragged, though to Jackie, it was hardly an achievement.

"You know, Jackie, I used to bring you here a lot when you were a baby. You seemed fine with it then. You got a bit worse when you got a bit older, when you were five." Jack petted his daughter's hair and pushed her glasses up her face. His arm was killing him, but he didn't feel like he could put her down.

"I remember that." She said, waving her head left and right to try and curb the dizziness.

"Oh, that day you bit someone, your first day of first grade! That was so adorable, you were so angry!" Alto gushed, much to Jackie's dismay, and the elevator came to a sudden stop. The dizziness Jackie felt began to subside, and they stepped in to Alto's plush office.  
It was so... well polished. The floor was velvet, the walls were a deep crimson, and there was a fireplace in the centre of the room, on the wall across from the elevator, sizzling away. Music played quietly in the background, played off a high quality speaker embedded in to the walls. To the left was a kitchen area, with it's own black and white alternating tiling, a water-dispensing fridge, an oven and a coffee maker and a toaster. To the right there was a spruce wood desk, the edges painted with gold enamel, varnished with a glossy clear coat. His filing cabinets were made of the same material, and he had such an ornate pot of pens... Jackie was enthralled by this man's office. He _understood_ it! He understood the need for comfort in work to create the best working standards possible! A man of culture! A man of intelligence! She was about to shed a tear at the beautiful desk when Alto took her from her father's arms, and plonked her down at said beautiful desk. She felt the plush seat and knew she was home. She was home!

"Uncle Alto, this is the best damn thing you've ever done!" She exclaimed. "You are a man that understands an artistry few can express!"

"Thank you, Jackie. I see you also have a good taste in offices."

"Comfort is mandatory for a healthy, productive work ethic and a consistent standard of work." She nodded, a smile of contentment on her face. Her glasses fell down her small nose, and she re-adjusted them with her stubby hands.

"You think that, Jackie? Personally, I like being comfortable in my work, my 16-hour work days aren't always the best for my head." Alto indulged her, sitting across from the clapping child.

"Well, working in a small, cramped divided space on a shitty chair isn't going to boost productivity, is it? It's just going to make you hate the job. Put pride in to your office."

Alto sat down across from the desk, as Jack fixed himself a pop tart in the toaster.

"So, Jackie, I know you've put a lot in to improving your little office, as well. Your daddy told me. Tell me about it."

"Nowhere near as lavish as this, Alto. Though, I prefer the minimalism, it helps me concentrate. You have to swing in either direction when it comes to offices, I believe. If you've got a concentration of lavish objects, and other ones with a lot to be desired, you're going to focus on the lavish. Now, my wall has a desk spanning across it, and a filing cabinet either side. I've got a comfortable office chair and a booster, so I forget about any height difficulties, or back difficulties. I ditched pens about a year ago, I prefer to use a typewriter for my reports. I'm not staring at a screen, but I don't risk smudging any of my work. It's also one uniform font, so scanning technology works very well with it."

"That sounds reasonable, Jackie. Problem with typewriters is the precision you have to put in to not have any spelling mistakes."

"Oh, you get used to it, Uncle Alto. My first few reports were chock full of them, but some white-out tape does the trick fine."

"I have read your reports, Jackie, they're incredible. They're so well written, and you're only nine." They weren't. They lacked a lot of the detail she'd need, but it was a start, and he was proud of her nonetheless.

"Thank you. I suppose that my dad is the one who gives them to you?"

"Yes, he showed me them. You're incredibly talented. You've documented a real anomaly, where did you find it?"

Around a year ago, Jack had worked with Alto to help Jackie find a 'real' anomaly. They hid the stone out in the fields, and used certain mental techniques to give it an 'effect.' She had so much fun documenting it. Alto had seen how proud Jack was of Jackie, and Alto was proud of his own handiwork.

"I found it when I was searching for them. In the corn field, I found it and studied what it did and then I wrote a report. I think dad was mad I didn't tell him."

"How did you figure out the gem had that effect, anyway?"

"I was struggling for inspiration, but I liked the way it looked so I held it, and then I could just write."

"It's a fun anomaly, though, isn't it? A gem that makes you undergo a renaissance in terms of your talents. I'm glad you found that rather than something more dangerous."  
Jack sat down in the other chair, munching on his PopTart. "You look adorable there, munchkin. I love you."

"Thank you, daddy. I love you too."

"I believed we had some business stuff to talk about, Alto? Or something, I don't know." He took a minute to take another bite. "Man, this is good shit."

"Yes, sugarbear, I wanted to discuss your latest report. I reviewed it for you."

"Gonna take a wild gamble and say you need me to type it up."

"Yes, that, and I need you to correct your spelling mistakes and write up a test you missed, Prince. You can use my typewriter if you want to."

"There were 12 tests, Alto. 12! I was going to miss one."

"And that's understandable, honeybun, but you can count."

There was a hint of silence.

"I'm gonna keep it real with you, Alto. I'm lazy."

"I figured, sugarbun."

"Y'know, Alto, maybe Jackie has a few more questions for you, cause I've got a report to write. Can you keep her up here, while I go get my paperwork?"

"I don't wanna be alone, dad."

"You'll be with Uncle Alto, and I'll be back in 15 minutes at the most. Alright?"

"It'll be alright, sweetheart." Alto said, leaning on his hand.

"I promise I'll come back." Jack whispered after picking Jackie up. "Promise."

 _"Is she okay?"_ Alto tapped on the table, knowing Jackie couldn't decode morse.

 _"Scared."_ Jack mouthed. "Do you need your headphones, babydoll?"

"No."

"You're gonna be okay, baby. You do this every day."

He set her down in the plush chair again and made his way towards the elevator, calling for it.

"Bye, sweetheart. I love you very much."

Jack stepped in to the elevator, waving to Jackie before the door shut. The elevator shot down to the ninth floor, where his office was. This ride had always jarred him.

His office was nothing compared to Alto's, but still quite good looking. Frosted glass kept his office quite secure, but when he touched the glass, it became clear. Jack stepped in, and shut the door behind him. He tapped the glass pane directly across from the door, giving a panning view of Site 19 and the hills and security fences around it. The little ranch loomed in the distance.

Site 19 was looking good today. It was a bright day, and registering that, he laughed to himself, but the sun shone on individual containment cells, D-Class holding facilities and the storage facilities in the far corner. Sometimes, he was glad he only did office work and testing, and only had to deal with the occasional anomaly or D-Class.

Out the corner of his eye, he noticed 106's containment area. It was suspended on metal girders, and the structure was huge. He walked towards the glass pane that would allow him to see it clearer, and tapped it, taking in the huge containment cell. Easily one of the biggest ones at Site 19, which was odd, as it sprawled on for miles behind him. It had never seemed a good idea to keep such a dangerous object so close by the administrative and office blocks, but it had to be under constant surveillance, and it was the type of anomaly you needed to know had escaped. Even if it was loud and in your face, turning you into a corpse.

They were relatively safe from it in the office blocks, though. It couldn't access the stairs or elevator.

Before looking away, he registered a small glint of liquid drop down from the containment cell. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. He studied it for a while. He caught another drip.

That wasn't normal.

Jack shot around, and sat down at his desk, fumbling for the key to open up his paperwork drawer. He jammed brass keys into the small padlock, none of them right, until he found the right one and yanked the drawer open, pulling out a plastic document folder.

He took his clunky intranet-phone out from his pocket, and nervously dialled Alto's number in. 

"Alto!" He yelled. "Alto, Alto, 106's containment cell, leaking, I saw it, it's not normal-"

"Hang on, handsome. Are you sure it's leaking?"

"Drops, acid, _don't tell Jackie, please-_ "

"Take deep breaths. Get your paperwork and come up here."

"Yes." Jack, keeping the folder open, treaded slowly to the elevator.

"Stay on the phone. Come back up here. You're fine, Jack. Jackie's fine, she's up here with me."

He heard a mumble from the other side of the phone. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's noticed someone doing something they shouldn't, baby girl. He's coming up now." Alto said, away from the receiver. The elevator shot up and Jack stumbled backwards before flying out the elevator and on to Alto's office floor, the paperwork he was holding spilling from his arms on to the floor. An organised mess.

The elevator door opened and closed in accordance with his foot, still in the door's grasp.

"There you are, honey." Alto fussed, not making a move.

"Dad!" Jackie said, stumbling towards her father. She tried to help him up, but to little avail. He got back up on his feet to scoop Jackie up and hold her close against his chest, rock her up and down. He fished a pair of headphones out his pocket, and gave them to his daughter, pushing them in to her ears, and plugging them in to a small music player and leaving her with them on the couch in Alto's office.

"Right, sugar, what's going on?"

"106's containment cell is leaking, I think it's acid corrosion. But I saw a few drips of acid leak from the main tank, I don't think it's good. I want to take Jackie home before anything bad happens."

"I'll get the containment specialists on it. Even so, we're okay up here. 106 can't climb up this high. I've got security, sugarcane."

"It can pass through walls."

"And I've got light and fire. If it's leaking, it's more dangerous to be down on the ground right now than it is to be up here, churro."

"I need Jackie safe."

"I know, and she will be. I think we both want her safe."

"What if today is the day you don't? I have to keep my Jackie safe."

"You did it when she was a baby, you can do it again if it happens." Alto sat at his desk, flicking the switch to his clunky machine, and Jack sat across from him, deflating in the chair.

That first containment breach with Jackie was the most terrifying thing he'd ever experienced.

Jackie was a little lump of baby then. She wasn't newborn anymore, she was smiling, sitting up, but she loved to be held, she loved attention, she was happy and giggly, but unsure of new things and people. She didn't make eye contact, though. Most babies did, from what Jack had heard.


	4. Chapter Four: 106’s Breach Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack fondly recounts the time he survived an SCP-106 Containment Breach with a six-week-old baby.

Jack had been with Jackie in his office at the time; it was his turn with her, his turn to care for her for the day. Her mother was returning to work, and her other parents were busy, so they had a schedule, deciding who got to take her to work. 

Jackie sat in a car seat on his desk; with one hand he wrote a report, and with the other hand, he rocked her back and forth. His office hadn't been as fancy then, the glass could be switched to clear, and he'd done that with the side panel to let a little light in to the room. The day was sunny and bright outside, and yes, he'd laughed at that, and it looked like a good day.

There was a cramp in his hand at the time, and he set his pen down on the desk, and scooped the baby out of her seat. He paced up and down the room, bouncing her softly, whispering to her how much he loved her, showing her Site 19. 

_"Look at that!"_ He pointed to the hills beyond. _"Our farm is over there, Jackie!"_

Jackie didn't respond, she was just a baby. She stared at the hill, in the way that babies do, with a deadpan, unenthusiastic look, devoid of emotion.

_"So that wasn't too popular with you, Jackie? Are you feeling like something a little more interesting? Like... daddy's keys?"_

He whipped a keychain out of his pocket, with a handful of keys attached to it, and dangled them in front of Jackie. She reached for them with her tiny baby hands, and tried to chew on them, but Jack wouldn't let her.

_"Keys are not for eating, Jackie! It's not a very good idea to eat them, not at all. They're made out of metal, and seeing as you don't even have the teeth to try and chew them, I think not."_

Jackie gurgled at the idea of keys. Keys were like buttons; interesting and edible. Jack heard someone clear their throat from behind him, and he turned, still dangling keys in his hand and shaking them in front of an interested Jackie. As interested as a baby could be, at any rate. 

_"You brought the baby again, Bright?"_ The site director at the time was stood behind him. He was a stocky, overweight man, with thinning grey hair in clumps, combed over his head, and a serious disposition. Even his face was fat. His cleanly shaven face had edges of stubble shining through. His shirt was black, and his tie was navy blue. He didn't wear a jacket, or a lab coat, a trait Clef had adopted after inheriting the title not long after.

_"It's my turn to look after her, Director. Her mom needs my help, she's returning to work this week."_

_"She's a fine child, but this is no place for a child, Bright, don't you understand that?"_ The Director rolled his eyes at Jack, edging a little closer.

_"There's nobody else to care for her."_

_"You have a high risk job, Bright. Do you not understand how dangerous this place is for a baby? She doesn't understand why she is here or what you are doing."_

_"As her father, I see it as my duty to care for her, and that's what I'm going to do, sir. I'm simply acting in my daughter's best interest, and you don't want me off."_

_"I am against you bringing your baby on to Site 19, Bright. A breach will happen, it will, and she will be here, and what are you going to do about it? That's a part of our job, Bright. That baby is not trained to withstand a breach. She'll cry, and land you in to trouble."_

_"And I understand that, but Jackie needs someone to look after her, and her mom is taking shifts, and our friends are taking shifts, and I've got to as well."_

_"I'm just saying, Bright. Tread incredibly, incredibly carefully with this child."_

Clef walked in to the office, swerving around the back of the Director.

_"Dr. Clef, what are you doing in Dr. Bright's office?"_

Clef swung over Jack's desk and in to his chair, opening his desk to find an unopened pack of biscuits.

 _"Dr. Clef. The robot head. You're still wearing it."_ The Director grumbled.

 _"Self expression."_ Clef retorted, glaring.

_"I've told you to get rid of it."_

_"I'll be replacing you, tubby."_ Clef threatened, pointing at the Director with the biscuits. He noticed Jackie, and started to gush. _"How's my favourite niece doing?"_

He rushed towards her, plucking her out of Jack's arms before he could muster a "Say hello to Uncle Clef, baby girl." Clef nuzzled in to the baby and rocked her and kissed her, best a man with a robot head with an LED screen could. The Director left, exasperated with the two doctors, and it was just Jackie, Clef and Jack in the room.

 _"Morning, Clef."_ Jack nodded, keeping a hawk's eye on his daughter. 

_"It's like two and a half men in here, Jack. Me, you and little baby Jackie. We could start a sitcom."_

_"Clef, can I have my cookies back?"_

_"Give me a good reason, sugarpuff."_

_"I haven't eaten properly in days?"_ Jack reasoned, face deadpan.

_"Nope, not good enough. I'll buy you a Big Mac later, Jacky-boy."_

_"Can I have Jackie back?"_

_"Sure, you can have her back."_ Clef held her out, and took up Jack's chair as Jack took her back off him. Clef was so full of character. _"You know, Jack, you're so different when you're around Jackie. You're normally so fun, but now you're a dad. Oh, that's a crisp lasagna."_ Clef noticed the photo of Jackie, from before she was born, on Jack's desk, and inspected it. 

Jack swiped it out his hand, and showed his daughter. _"That's you, baby girl! Uncle Clef is just being silly, you're not really a lasagna, are you?"_

Clef winked at Jackie, blowing a kiss at her, and starting to eat the biscuits Jack had worked so hard to keep in his desk.

 _"Clef?"_ Jack asked, holding Jackie in his arms closely. Clef looked at him inquisitively. It was so odd the man could expend such emotion even when he was hidden behind a robot head. _"What's the time?"_

Clef inspected his watch for a few moments, staring at the hands that ticked. _"12:37."_

 _"That's a new record for the Director noticing, then."_ Jack stopped to check on the baby in his arms. _"Time for food, Jackie! We gotta go down to the break room to get your milk."_

_"I'll come with, I like Jackie."_

_"I just have to get a bottle."_

_"I'm not authorised in here without your presence."_ Clef pouted, rubbing his eyes with balled up fist.

_"I authorise you, bitch!"_

Clef laughed, and waved Jack goodbye as he disappeared into the elevator with Jackie in his arms. She was such a small, cute little lump. On the way to the break room, the elevator stopped, and the Director walked in to the elevator.

 _"Dr. Bright."_ He nodded. _"What's your business down here? You don't normally eat lunch until three."_

 _"Food for Jackie."_ Jack held her up, waving her little arm. _"Her milk is in the fridge."_

_"One good thing for them is to freeze milk for when they're teething. They can suck on it, it relieves the pain."_

_"I'll keep that in mind."_ The elevator continued to go down. _"Did any of your kids ever try to eat your keys?"_

_"Rubber keys. Invest in a set of rubber keys. They're colourful, they jingle, and they're safe."_ The Director turned to Jack. _"And, don't encourage the behaviour by giving the child the keys."_

_"She likes the noise they make. It's comforting to her, I think."_

The elevator stopped, and Jack stepped out, hounding towards the break room fridge. He slung Jackie over his shoulder, keeping her in place with his head, and took her milk bottle from the fridge successfully.

 _"We have got milk!"_ Jack held Jackie up, and lifted up her tiny arms, waving them like some great victory. _"You know, Jackie, I was scared someone had drank this. We only have three."_

Jackie gurgled, reaching out for the milk in her father's hand. She yawned, and Jack headed towards the elevator with her, having put the milk in her arms. Jack stopped at his office and joined Clef at his desk, starting to feed his daughter.

_"Got it?"_

_"It's kinda obvious I was able to get her some milk, Clef."_

Jack's eyes nervously returned to watching his daughter. She wasn't suffocating. He adjusted her on his arm, making her sit a little further up. He was shaking, he shook every time he fed her, it was just something he couldn't get used to. She was his tiny daughter and he convulsed at even the idea of holding her wrong and hurting her. He couldn't _cope_ with that.

_"She enjoying that, Bright?"_

_"You think it's tasty, Jackie?"_ Jack asked, cooing over the child. _"Yes!"_ He mimicked, much like a ventriloquist with a puppet.  
Clef laughed, and pushed another cookie in to his mouth.

 _"How's her mom doing?"_ Clef asked, in the middle of chewing.

_"Her mom's doing fine, yeah. She's going back to work today, so I've got an actual reason to bring Jackie."_

_"She feeling better from that cold you took like three days off for?"_

_"Everyone had that cold, Clef. There was nobody to look after Jackie without making her sick."_ Jack tapped his foot on the ground. _"Just looking after my baby girl."_

 _"You're adorable, Bright."_ Clef ate another one of Jack's cookies.

Jackie stopped drinking and the milk fell out her mouth. She'd drank around half of the bottle when Jack put it down on Clef's desk, and started to clean her up.

He put her over his shoulder and patted her back, Clef still eating the cookies.

_"Can I have just one of them, Clef? I'm super hungry."_

_"Don't your wives feed you?"_

_"No? One is a farmer and the other is running around doing god knows what and who. They don't have time for me."_

_"You kept Jackie's mom off, though. Surely she should have been able to feed you?"_

_"I had a microwave hot dog and a bag of Cheetos for dinner yesterday, because she's been so busy working out."_

_"Damn, she's really fucking you over like that?"_

_"Yup."_

Clef chucked a cookie across the table, landing in front of Jack. He put it in his mouth quickly and got back to patting Jackie on the back. The tiny baby coughed, a small amount of milk ending up on the back of Jack's black shirt.

_"I'll take you to McDonald's. We should get something for your girlfriend as well, Jackie's mom, she deserves a little something."_

_"Putting up with both me and Jackie? Yup. I feel so bad, I didn't get to stay off the whole time she was off."_ Jack moved his daughter to his arms, and the little girl closed her eyes, falling asleep. 

_"She got a good four, four and a half weeks after Jackie was born."_ Clef reasoned, biting in to another cookie.

_"I had promised I'd give her longer, but I've taken both my paternal leave and my leave for the year. I couldn't give her anything else."_

_"Why do you feel the need to give her what you don't have, Jack? Think about what she had, she had you hounding her, making her teas and coffee, doing all the housework and laundry. You took a year's leave and you didn't even get a break. You did well and gave her what she deserved, give yourself a fucking hand!"_

_"I just want to give little Jackie the best start to life. Having her mama off and having me there too helped us bond with her and recover."_

_"You're doing great, Jack. I promise. I had some kind of weird goddess kid when I was in my teenage years, you're already doing better than me."_

_"That was what... the fifties? I'm sure the standard of parenting was lower then. I mean, my mom told me to go out without sunscreen cause it built character."_

_"Late sixties."_

_"Your mom was a hippie?"_

_"Still is, Beatles and all. Me and my mom, we rocked it."_ Clef laughed, remembering the faint image of his mother he still had. _"Go on, Jack. Relent your struggles to me, I'm technically a father."_

_"I just worry she'll find out she was unplanned, y'know? We weren't... trying. I mean, she wanted to get pregnant, but I wasn't aware of that, I was just kinda enjoying the sex."_

_"You wanted her, though, and you love her. Maybe she was a bit of a surprise, but surprises are a good thing. Like, like that bike you had."_

_"Jackie's a person. It's different. My bike wasn't a person, it was a bike. I mean, I loved it a lot and I rode it every day for 12 years until the day it gave up on me, but she's going to be here my whole life."_

_"Jack, you're..."_ Clef paused, taking a sharp breath in.

 _"What?"_ Jack asked, after an uncomfortable pause. He checked on the now sleeping baby in his arms, letting her hold one of his fingers with her tiny hand.

_"Ah, forget about it."_

_"You know, Clef."_ Jack started, some kind of trembling in his voice. _"I'm worried about her."_

 _"How come, sugarbun?"_ Clef asked, leaning back in Jack's chair.

_"Give me her blanket first, she looks cold."_

Clef took the folded up blanket out Jackie's car seat and carefully placed it on Jack's lap. He noticed a little reluctance in the two when separating their hands, filling him with some kind of sadness. Jack loosely wrapped the baby in the blanket, and resumed holding her, giving her back his finger. In her sleep, she took it with two hands and held it close.

 _"She's so tiny, isn't she?"_ Jack asked with a soft voice. 

_"She is, she's very cute. She looks healthy, that's obviously not a problem."_

_"That's not what seems to be wrong. Clef, she displays a lot of signs of autism."_

_"You can cope with that, you've been a good dad so-"_

_"But I don't want my daughter to have to deal with that, Clef. We can cope through the problems and the issues that she'll have to navigate but the fucking comments from other kids her age? Sure, sure, it'll be fine when she first goes to school, but then she'll get a little older and other parents will point out her differences and then she'll get bullied, and I went through that shit for nine years, and I'm not letting my baby girl go through that."_

_"Maybe, if it's a big issue, she won't go to school. You should have a diagnosis done before you become paranoid, she might just not be a fan of a lot of things."_

_"She met her grandparents a few days ago, and they said she was nothing like me, and I'm, I'm just worried-"_

_"And I understand that you're worried, but you're a much better dad than you're taking credit for and you're going to be fine, and she's going to be fine, and overall, you don't have much reason to worry. You have got this under control, Jack. You are fine. You and Jackie are going to be fine."_

There was a silence in between them for a few moments. Jack took a deep breath in, and let his hand distract the baby from any worry. He felt her shift uncomfortably in his arms, shaking and shivering. Clef sighed, letting a breath he'd saved inside him out. It pissed him off what anxiety could do to a mind, especially one like Jack's. He had to hope it didn't have the same grip on his niece's mind.

Jackie let out a little cough, and roused slightly in her father's arms, this brief moment of her awareness fading away as soon as it had materialised. More silence, more time spent awkwardly between two men, one desperate for the safety of his daughter and the other one contemplating the fate of his friend. There was only silence, Jack's eyes drifting towards Jackie more than Clef. No more cookies to crunch, no more words to speak.

But an aura of danger was in the air, one they hadn't quite picked up on. The hairs on Jack's back stood up on end, and his face tingled, whereas Clef became hotter, and the fans circulating his robotic head worked harder and faster, the audible whirr of salvaged, badly soldered blades in the air. Jackie let out a small cry before becoming completely silent again.

They sat, waiting for whatever danger, whatever damned doozy to occur. Jack was in position to put Jackie back in to her car seat and run, leave as quickly as possible, whereas Clef twiddled his keycard in his hands, braced to get himself to his office.

 _"Do you think it's going to be a breach?"_ Clef broke the silence in the name of safety for the baby girl. Jack nodded. _"Get her in the car seat."_

Jack nodded again, and lifted his daughter up, strapping her in to the seat and placing the blanket over the top of her. He fumbled for his keys and made a point of remembering which pocket he'd put them in.

Working at the foundation for so many years had put a sixth sense in the two men, allowing them to sense danger without a doubt. Maybe it was a job perk, but Jack could sense the combine harvester turning on in the fields from the house.

 _"Shit, what do we do? If there's a breach, what, what-"_ Jack fretted, rocking the car seat up and down nervously.

 _"Easy, tiger."_ Clef put a hand on Jack's shoulder. _"You find a safe place for Jackie first. Maybe turn your lab coat into a sling for her, keep her seat in it around your neck and cover it with a blanket."_

_"I wasn't meant to bring her, though. If anyone higher than the site director finds out then I'm fucking toast-"_

_"You're doing what's in the best interest of your daughter. You were told to look after her by your girlfriend, and you did."_

_"I can't protect her the way her mama could."_

_"Her mama is a terrifying she-demon. Skips won't try Jackie."_

_"I'm scared, Clef. I'm going to text her, ask if she can help our baby..."_

_"You do that, Jack. I'll rock the seat so she isn't scared."_

While Jack paced up and down, Clef rocked the car seat, little Jackie sucking on a pacifier she'd found attached to the seat. Her way of wrangling things, despite the fact she was asleep, amused him. 

She was wearing a yellow outfit and tiny white booties and white mittens. Her hair was starting to grow in the same brilliant red as her father's, though god knew what kind of genetics Jack had been able to snatch with the body he'd created for himself. Clef had always thought it was nice that Jack had found a body he felt comfortable in after losing his own and going through so many different ones.

The original body of Jack was long gone, of course. His soul was still there, but it had changed, the face of Jack had changed to a point that in Clef's dreams, there was never one solid image of him; he'd see Jack, and he'd turn around and see a different face, a different representation of him.

God, the shock he had when he found out he was going to be an honorary uncle. Done over drinks at a local bar, of course, Jack had downed a particularly strong vodka to calm his nerves beforehand, and Clef himself had swigged down a whisky, preparing himself for whatever 'news' Jack wanted to impart on him.

Then, Clef had been told he was going to be an uncle to Jack's baby. He screamed, and hiccuped all in one go, then downed another shot of whisky. Jack, Jack with a baby. He hadn't seen much of the amulet since then, Jack had hidden it somewhere, not allowing anyone to touch it. 

He was still the same person, fun loving yet plagued by anxieties, but whenever his daughter was around, Clef had noticed such a difference in him. He was so careful in places he was normally reckless. It was odd to see him this way, Clef had to admit, but he had to hand it to the guy for straightening up this fast.

Clef continued to rock the car seat steadily, keeping the baby asleep. How Jack was able to do this for hours on end while writing reports was beyond him, this was... quite the workout.

 _"She has a protection spell on her already."_ Jack said, taking a sigh of relief. _"It's potent. It keeps anything with bad intentions away, anything that might want to hurt her... and I'm going to be given a hug when I get home, as well."_

 _"Oh, just a hug?"_ Clef laughed nervously, raising an eyebrow.

Jack nodded at him, taking the car seat off him and rocking it himself. He draped the pink blanket over the car seat, and he paced with it. The phone on his desk rang, and both him and Clef tried to answer it. Clef received the car seat again.

 _"Who is this?"_ Jack bit the inside of his cheek and tapped his foot against the floor. _"Oh. Hey, hon. No, the alarms haven't sounded, but I think something bad is going to happen."_  
Clef rocked the car seat again, waiting for Jack to speak.

_"I haven't got a clue, hon... I don't think I can. Also, are you feeling okay? ...Well, if you tried to get here, I don't know if you'd be allowed in..."_

Clef blinked under his mask and he felt a vibration soar through him, reaching the top of his head.

***Crash!*** 

Clef's eyes widened under his mask, and Jack took a deep breath in. The alarm started, and Jack slammed down the phone in shock, seizing the handle of Jackie's car seat. He jerked it towards him, and Jackie was getting unsettled. Jack took a moment to lean down and give her a kiss to soothe her but it wasn't working, she was bawling her eyes out because of the noise. He couldn't blame her foe it, she was just a baby. A baby with possible autism, at that.

 _"Clef, the fuck do we do?"_ Jack stammered, a high pitched streak in his voice. _"She's not, gonna stop crying until the noise is gone! I can't, I can't leave her, Clef-"_

_"You're not going to leave her, Jack. You and her are staying together. You're going to keep Jackie with you, and you can shield her from any harm."_

The siren continued to blare, the sound of screaming and shouting from the outside. Jackie cried louder, Jack fretted over her in an attempt to try and shush her crying and screaming.

 _"Jack, are you listening to me? She's going to be safe with her dad."_ Clef insisted, taking Jack’s hand and holding it tight.

Clef swung the car seat around, and lifted Jackie out of it, instead placing her in the lab coat that hung on the back of Jack's chair. He wrapped the baby up and she settled down slightly, settling down more when she was given to Jack. Eventually, her cries were only a whimper, sorted out by her father's hugs.

 _"Now what do we do?"_ Jack asked, slightly calmer but still struggling.

_"I don't know, Jack. We can wait here, or we can leave and go help. It depends on what you think you can do with a baby. But you're not going to leave her. I won't let you. What do you think you could do to help if she was with you?"_

_"I think, I think one of us should go and help. As long as Jackie's safe, one of us could leave while the other could look after her."_ Jack swayed from side to side with the baby, keeping her very high up, close to his face. She grasped at his stubbly beard and thick hair, yanking on it.

Clef leaned on the table further, taking an authoritative control over Bright. Not out of malice, of course, he didn't want to hurt him. But knowing what was going to be done was going to help Jack, and he had to understand that to be able to take up the tone.

_"Confirming; you don't think it is possible to help with her here?"_

_"No, yes, maybe, I don't know, Clef, I want to protect her-"_

_"This is an incredibly dangerous decision you have to make, Jack. I understand how you feel. Think logically about both outcomes for a moment."_

Jack took a few moments deep in thought. _"Is there anywhere safe for her?"_

_"Let's assume there isn't."_

_"Are they going to reprimand me if I don't go out?"_

_"I won't let them, Jack. I promise."_

_"Clef, I don't know, what do you think?"_

_"We need to get out, Jack. That's what I think. Hang on... don't you have a harness for her? In storage? The one that Dr. Glass gave to you in that care package I brought for you!"_

_"Yeah! That would be downstairs, on the second floor. That's where the lockers and storage are."_

_"That's what we do, then. You get the harness, and hide her, you can use my coat, and we go out and we help. Do you understand?"_

_"Yes, Clef."_

Clef smiled, then grabbed Jack by the arm and led him to the elevator. Jack stood rigid in the corner as Clef keyed in for the second floor, and the elevator shot down, the sirens still blaring.

The sirens were quieter on the second floor. The circuitry in the floor was playing up on this level, plugs sparking and lights flickering, but the two men were in darkness with a baby. Jack heard a footstep, and his head spun to see nothing but darkness behind him. Clef flicked the torch attached to his robotic mask on, and lead Jack, who had shut his eyes in fear, to his locker.

 _"Here, put your fingerprint on the sensor."_ Clef whispered. He guided Jack's finger to the sensor, and his eyes had opened by this point, using the torch on Clef's mask to get to the end of the locker, and pull the harness out. Jack took a stern hold of it, piling it on top of Jackie. _"There we go. We're gonna go back to the elevator."_

Jack pressed the locker shut, and rocked Jackie gently, trying to stop her from whimpering. Suddenly, a wider light illuminated the darkness in front of them, and the two men stood, rigid and terrified.

 _"They're humanoid."_ A muffled voice from behind said. _"Turn, the both of you."_

They had no choice but to turn, to see a member of a mobile task force behind them, aiming a shotgun at Jackie's head. Jack cowered back in fear, and the gunman moved his gun down.

_"State names, show identification."_

_"Dr. Alto Clef."_ Clef held up his identification card, showing it clearly to the officer. His voice was staunch and unmoved by the encounter, but he was shaking.

Jack fumbled in his pocket for his wallet, and showed it to the officer. _"Dr. Jack Bright."_

_"And the baby?"_

_"She... she doesn't have any identification. She's a baby-"_

_"Give her name."_

_"Jackie."_

_"Jackie...?"_ The Officer motioned forwards with his hand, expecting another answer from Jack.

 _"Bright. Jackie Bright."_ Jack answered.

The officer nodded, and motioned through with the shotgun.

 _"Explain the situation."_ Clef demanded, keeping a stern tone with the officer.

_"106 has breached containment and destroyed the main power lines. The elevator and alarm systems are still working by the backups, but you'd have to act fast if you wanted to get out."_

_"Where is it?"_

_"We don't know."_ The Officer lamented.

 _"Do you know of anywhere safe for her?"_ Clef interjected, tapping on the officer's back. He pointed towards Jackie.

_"Keep the child with you."_

Clef lead Jack to the elevator again, and had the door close. Now they were in the light, Clef strapped Jackie to Jack's front and covered Jack with his long trench coat, doing up the buttons for him.

_"Jack, the plan. What is it?"_

_"D-Class holding facility. Find lure subject. Find the cell 106 has breached, sever the tendon, broadcast the noise and get 106 inside the cell. Have containment specialists patch whatever broke up while 106 has playtime."_

_"Okay, so what do we do first?"_

_"Find some containment specialists."_

_"Good boy."_ Clef crooned. 

Clef had the elevator shoot down to the ground floor. The lights were completely dark, and Clef turned his headlamp on again. He walked to the end of the corridor, making sure his partner in crime was close, and threw the door open.

 _"Clef, we're splitting up. You find containment specialists. I'm finding a lure."_ Jack nodded, confident and smiling.

Clef watched, as Jack ran off to the D-Class holding facility to the West of them. He saluted the man, focused on his task, before noticing he'd saluted back.

Jack ran as gently as he could, but he sprinted, holding Jackie stable on his chest so she didn't jerk or shake. She gurgled under the coat, and Jack threw open the doors of the holding facility when he reached it. He was in such a rush.

The facility was quiet; the D-Class were in breach mode. They couldn't make noise like they normally could. They had to remain silent in the brace position.

 _"Has anyone been taken yet?"_ Jack screamed out forcefully through rows and rows of men, his heart thumping in his chest. He hyperventilated and dug his feet into the soil like ground. There was a murmur along the men, passing through the rows and echoing back to him.

 _"No, Sir!"_ He heard. Really? He was the first one here?

_"I need a man between 10 and 25 years old! He reports himself to me, now!"_

The murmur travelled through the rows upon rows of men and echoed back several time, but in this process, a man dropped down from the front of the rows and went to stand near Jack.

He felt a conscience he hadn't ever felt before. Not with containment breaches, at any rate. The D-Class standing in front of him seemed human to him, for once, and knowing what he was going to do to him; slash the tendons in his ankles and let a destructive monster destroy every part of him and leave him alive until he was nothing but crumbling dust; he felt horrible. He felt fucking monstrous.

How could he have created life with the woman he loved and been so proud, so protective of it, and then so ruthless with other forms of life? Forms of life that someone loved the exact way he did his daughter? He'd never thought like this before, but he pushed it to one side, and he decided to offer just... a few final kindnesses to the D-Class. This man would have to die to save the lives of others, but that didn't mean he couldn't just not be an asshole.

Instead of dragging him by the collar, Jack took the man's hand and lead him to Clef, who'd managed to round up a fair amount of terrified containment specialists. He felt a smile and wink behind Clef's mask, maybe a little stick of the tongue as well.

 _"You got one, Bright?"_ Clef asked, motioning to the team of men and women cowering behind him.

 _"Yeah. What's your name?"_ Jack asked the D-Class, tilting his head slightly.

_"D-27984-"_

_"Your actual name?"_ Jack demanded, though he kept an air of respect about him.

_"Can't remember, if I'm entirely honest."_

_"I’m going to name you Sam. Sam got up himself. He's a good man."_

_"Huh. They normally have to be dragged."_ Clef said, a visible expression on his mask.

 _"How old are you, Sam?"_ One of the containment specialists asked, tapping a clipboard with a pen.

_"Was 23 yesterday. I think."_

_"Dr. Clef, we've got a suitable containment plan. The breach was caused by a lack of lighting fixtures. When it got out it's cell, it touched the transformers."_

_"How long is it going to take you to get it fixed?"_ Clef’s head snapped back to face the specialist. 

_"Fairly quickly, the original cell is still in tact and we can up the bulbs with our remote control, they've got a high capacity. It's the transformers that need real help, and we need to move the containment area away from the transformers, or the transformers from there. Once 106 is back in containment, we can work on moving them. The layers are all self repairing, so as long as we can contain it, we'll be fine. It's the containment that matters right now."_ One of the specialists spoke for the rest, the others nodding accordingly.

 _"What if any other anomalies are loose? Do we fix their containment or 106's first? And, we need to fix the intercom for containment."_ Jack interjected. 

_"If they are, then we do 106 first, Dr. Bright. 106 would be a main priority since it's been out the longest. With the intercom, you should be able to piggyback it off a microphone until we can get it fixed."_ The same specialist said again. 

_"Good. Do you have tools for containment? Or do you need to find them?"_ Clef nodded in their direction.

_"We have a chainsaw, a drill, a welding torch and a 2x2 square of metal."_

_"Drone? Do you have the drone?"_

_"It should be in the locker rooms, I think."_ The specialist took a breath in and nodded at Clef.

 _"Two of you, go and get the drone."_ Clef ordered. They disappeared. _"The rest of you, we need to find the containment cell."_  
Jack petted the lump on the front of his coat and rocked it, eliciting odd looks from the D-Class.

 _"What's that you got there? Skip that needs protecting?"_ The D-Class asked, beginning to walk along with the rest of the group.

 _"Daughter."_ Jack replied dryly, but his eyes were shining as he looked down at his sleepy daughter.

_"You brought a baby, here? Everything I've seen, and this is the weirdest."_

_"My girlfriend is going back to work today. She needed someone to look after our baby."_

_"But it's dangerous here. Hire a babysitter, ask your parents."_

_"I think I love her a bit too much to do that."_

* _"Huh. I never had kids, I won't know how it feels. Man, I'm pretty scared to die, but knowing it's gonna protect a kid? I think that makes it a lot better."_

_"You knew we were going to kill you? Then, why would you stand up?"_

_"Nobody else was going to. And you looked really desperate. Probably because of the kid you have by there."_

_"It's not going to be a nice death, I'm sorry. I wish it could be, but you have to scream. That's how we contain it."_

_"Bit pissed, but alright. It's not like I can back out or anything."_

_"Thank you, though."_ Jack made his thanks clear, keeping his composure.

*”You're welcome."

Jack took a moment of sullen silence, and looked down his coat to see Jackie, asleep. Her mouth twitched, and she yawned, Jack stopping momentarily to take a sigh of relief. She was fine.

 _"Jack! We've found the cell!"_ Clef called. Jack started to run again, the D-Class following behind him, and he reached Clef, taking a sigh of relief, since his friend wasn't dead. _"What's the plan?"_

 _"Well, we're going to need to prepare the lure subject."_ The speaking-specialist mumbled, though she was loud enough to hear.

 _"Lure subject? That's fancy."_ Sam remarked. Jack half laughed at the attempt at humour; he knew it meant something to this man. 

_"I'll do it, Jack. You, just hold Jackie and shield her damn eyes from this."_

Jack watched as Clef produced a small pearlescent pocket knife from his back pocket, and flipped the blade up. Jack swallowed a lump in his throat, the wind ploughing through his hair. 

Jackie moved her tiny arms up and stroked her dad slightly, so he brought his hands inside his jacket to hold her and her tiny hand. His fingers swirled her hair into little rings all over her head, for the first time noticing how soft and warm her wispy hair was against the cold. He wondered how thick it would get; she was only six weeks old.

 _"Dr. Bright, which one of you is more senior?"_ The containment specialist spoke again, holding a sheet of metal in her hand.

 _"I'd say Dr. Clef."_ Jack said. The specialist nodded. _"Do you know where everyone else went?"_

_"Supposedly in the office block, or dead, Dr. Bright."_

_"That's lovely."_

_"Dr. Clef, we need your permission to begin the procedure."_

_"You got it. We can start."_

_"Have we got the necessary intercom access?"_ Jack asked, taking a deep breath in. He bit the sides of his cheeks again.

_"Yes, Dr. Bright. The panel is right over here. We can extend the microphone."_

_"Could you do that before we begin?"_ Clef added. _"I want this over with as quickly as possible, there's a baby here."_

_"Of course, Dr. Clef. As you wish."_

The specialist pulled the microphone out on to the ground. Jack took a sharp breath in, and consoled Jackie by giving her a soft kiss on the head. She whimpered slightly. He thanked Dr. Glass for the care package that Clef had slipped under his door that had included this harness, but he'd never thought he'd need it. He made a mental note to keep it in his office whenever Jackie was around. 

Clef leant down, and Jack looked away, focusing on the cell in front of him. He heard the noise of the blade sharpening against a rock.

 _"Seriously, Clef. Get it over with."_ He muttered. _"Empathy."_

His eyes, although cast down to the floor, couldn't help themselves but to watch Clef. He watched in horror as three chunky slits were made in to the man's ankle, drenching the floor with blood, and causing him to fall and scream in pain. The scream was picked up by the loudspeakers, and a shocked Clef dropped the knife and ran behind the hedge. Jack stood and watched for a moment before Clef tore him down, behind the thick, tall, leafy bushes.

 _"It'll be fine, Jack."_ Clef hissed, but he had an arm around Jack's shoulder. _"I know Jackie makes you feel differently about things. It's entirely normal to feel that way, it happens with assassins as well. But you're protecting her. You're doing this for her good."_

Jack peered through the cracks in the bushes to see the D-Class still screaming, screaming louder, screaming for his mother. 

_"You're fine, Jack. You're doing this for Jackie."_

_"I'm such a fucking hypocrite, Clef. How can I be like this with Jackie and not others?"_

_"He's not your son. Jackie's your daughter. You can protect your own daughter."_

_"But someone loves him the way I love her."_

_"Fucker was on death row. You think someone loves him? No, Jack. He was some violent criminal. Think of it that way."_

Jack nodded, opened his coat, and petted the side of Jackie's head. She gurgled happily, happy to be out in the air again instead of inside. 

_"There you go, Jack, you've got something to focus on. Just think about her."_

Jack noticed a flower on the floor, a pretty, white flower that had burst through the white and grey gravel. He admired its beauty, tracing his finger over the leaves. Jackie turned her head to look at the flower, and she outstretched her hand for it, wanting to touch it. She'd never seen this kind of flower before, and she was happy about it. She found it beautiful.

The drag of gravel became increasingly apparent, as well as the screams of the D-Class becoming more faint. Jack noticed one of the containment specialists pull out a tablet, and start monitoring the containment cell. They began filling up different layers with different liquids as 106 passed through them, holding the D-Class in its hands.

Was that it over?

The end of a containment breach always felt so surreal to Jack. All that stress, and it could be solved in just a few minutes. Of course, there was so much paperwork afterwards, but this release always made him feel pathetic. He got so stressed, just for that. But this time, he had a good reason to be stressed, and she was in his arms, sleeping lightly, but not quite.

This breach wasn't quite over yet, though. The alarm system had to be turned off, and the transformers had to be fixed, but the danger was gone. The danger was gone. Jackie was safe, it was just electrical work to be done.

 _"The imminent danger is supposedly gone. The power will be coming back momentarily."_ Clef said in to the microphone, sighing. _"All report to Hall 1-1 for casualty count confirmation and admittance to the on-site infirmary."_

Jack stood up, slipping a flower from the ground into Jackie's hair. She seemed content with this, and smiled, her grin instilling something in Jack that he had lost in the past few hours.


	5. Chapter Five: Present Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clef visits Dr. Glass for his monthly psych evaluation. Jack gives his daughter some well-needed hugs.

"See? That's the look of a flashback on your face, honey. You did it then, and you can do it now. With 106, too!" Clef nodded, lacing his fingers together. He'd become Site Director after that incident, as the one at the time had died, been touched by 106. The paperwork lasted days, but he was paid more afterwards. To Clef, it was all worth it.

Of course, Jackie smiled more and more after that, as well. She was his little ray of sunshine. 

"Yeah, I could do it again. But she's older now." Jack deliberated, furrowing his brow

"She'll be more willing to do what you say. She knows this place is dangerous, she's not stupid."

"I pressed the flower I put in her hair, you know. She loved the way it looked, so I pressed it for her and had it put in an acrylic block. She keeps it on her desk."

"I remember that flower. If I recall correctly, she slept for the rest of the day, she'd had enough, and she kept still enough to keep it there all throughout then." Clef raised a finger, remembering that day along with the man in front of him.

"She did." Jack nodded again, smiling thoughtfully at the sight in his mind of his daughter.

Jackie padded over to her father, earbuds still in, and lifted her arms up. Jack picked her on to his lap and started to rock and bounce her. He knew not to disturb her while she was listening to her music.

"Honestly, I'm starting to be glad I went through that with her then, so I'm not going to be entirely confused now."

"Hope you don't get attached to a D-Class this time, sugar."

"I promise I won't. She's not a baby anymore, I'm not as tender as I was then. Realised where the line was."

"Good." Clef smiled through his mask and stretched his neck out, returning his hands to their clasped position on the desk. "Did I ever buy you a Big Mac after?"

"You did. 12am, me, you and baby Jackie in a McDonalds, cause they didn't let us out until 11:35p.m. First thing I'd eaten in fucking _days_ , Clef!"

"So, if there's a breach today, do you want to introduce Jackie to the post-breach McDonald's tradition?"

"Fuck yeah. I could do with some food, at any rate."

"I see you've calmed down, sugarpuff." The old nickname brought back some happy memories. "You're confident."

"If I can do it with a baby, I can do it with a 9 year old. Looking back, the procedure was fairly easy."

"Nerve wrecking, though. You had a baby with you. I was terrified, I thought you were going to drop her when you started running." Clef confided. He noticed Jackie bobbing her head up and down in time to the music in her headphones, and chuckled.

"I was holding her. I was scared I was going to shake her too hard, so I was holding her. Didn’t move an inch."

"Oh, just so you know, I told the specialist your concerns. They're having a look at it." Clef’s sentences felt rushed all of a sudden, as if he had to relay the message immediately.

"Lovely."

"Hm." Clef looked at his watch. "You know, babe, I've got a psych evaluation to attend."

"Oh, mine's after yours. I'll get to typing the report up, maybe we can switch with Jackie?" Jack suggested, motioning to the child sat on his lap.

"Sure." Clef nodded.

Jack picked up his laptop and put it on Clef's desk. It had now finished updating, so he was able to work in peace. He typed in his password, and Clef stood up. He stood behind Jack for a moment, and tried to ruffle Jackie's hair, but a disconcerting look from Jack stopped him just in time, causing him to draw his hand back.

"Buh-Bye, honeydew!" Clef said, disappearing into the elevator. It shot down to the seventh floor, where Dr. Glass's office was, and Clef sauntered into the room with a grin under his mask. Fucking with Dr. Glass could be the highlight of his month if done right. The man himself was staring at some papers, his eyes wide when he realised who was in his room.

"Hello, Dr. Glass." He sang, stretching out on the long couch in the room. He rested his head on his hand, and laid on his side, looking towards the doctor in front of him. Careless Whisper should have been playing on the radio, but he couldn't do anything about that. Obviously, there was a seductive stare emanating from him; that's just how you fucked with the man.

"Good morning, Director Clef. How are you this morning?" Glass responded somewhat emotionlessly towards Clef, given Clef’s greeting.

"Hmm..." Clef thought. "Well, I'm feeling a little... sexy."

"Well, Dr. Clef, you can act on that in your own time." Glass didn’t even look up from his clipboard, checking boxes with a plain black pen.

Obviously, that wasn't the reaction Clef wanted, so he kept going.

"But how are you feeling, Dr. Glass?" He dragged his sentences out seductively, blowing a kiss at the end of them. An arch of a British accent tinged his voice.

"Frustrated, if I am entirely honest. I understand your work is incredibly tiring and stressful, but I believe you are capable of more than childish tricks and games you play on me during these sessions, Dr. Clef."

Damn it! He shouldn't have been able to tell they were tricks! 

He pouted through his robot mask, the simplified expression showing up on the screen, and raised a finger to where his mouth was.

"Now, Dr. Clef, how was your week? What are you doing today? Can you treat this like an actual therapy session, please?" Glass gritted his teeth, his head stationed at a jaunty angle.

"My personal ethos bars me from doing just that, Glass. I had an entire charade planned for this, couldn't you just play along?"

"Give me a good reason to do that, Dr. Clef."  
Clef was silent for a moment. Glass had played along _so many times_ in the past, but today, sadly, seemed to be his breaking point. "That's because you don't have a good reason, Dr. Clef. Now, what have you done today?"

"Hanging out with Dr. Bright in my office..." Clef said, dejected. He hung his head and pouted slightly, though it wasn’t like Glass wouldn’t have seen. 

"Why? Did you invite him there? Or did he just show up?"

"He burst through the window head first and on to my carpet, rolling like a brick until he ended up in my chair." Clef said, deadpan. Dr. Glass watched him intently, wanting more details on the story. "Of course I invited him up there, dumbass!"

Clef produced a sock puppet that was modelled after Jack, amulet and all, out of his pocket and swiftly put his hand in it.

"Are you hanging out with the sock puppet, or is the actual Dr. Bright with you?"

"The real one. This is just my spare, in case he dies. Isn't that right, Mini Bright?" Clef held up the sock to make it talk. "Yes, Clef! I die very often, and I, being the stupid fuck I am, left my soul at home today!" Dr. Glass watched intently, his brow furrowed, pressing the black pen he brandished against his chapped lip. "You know, Clef, I brought my daughter today, even though you told me it was a bad idea! But then, I said, 'no, you robot-headed fool, she's autistic!' I swear, Glassy, I'll tell you all about this in our meeting, but right now I'm just a figment of your damn imagination! Haha!" Clef mimicked Jack, exaggerating the facial expressions and the gestures Jack would make.

"Dr. Bright has brought his daughter here today? He has a daughter?" Glass furrowed his brow again, trying to follow the story.

"Yeah! Now let my best friend and overlord Clef go!" Clef mimicked again.

"Best friend and overlord, hm? Is this how you want others to view you, Dr. Clef?"

"He says you should let me go. That's what I think." Clef returned to his own voice, the puppet nodding it’s head accordingly.

"Well, I'm quite interested in your Dr. Bright impression. Does he help you with a lot of your pent up emotions?" Dr. Glass looked somewhat excited for once, like he'd found a juicy equation to sink his teeth in to. "And is the story you provided true?"

"Glass. He's got a daughter. I'll make him bring her down if you want me to."

"I believe he has talked about her a few times, but I always brushed it off as his mental instabilities after exposure to 963. He's got an interesting psyche. Anyway, why did you make the Dr. Bright puppet?" Glass raised his eyebrows, somewhat smiling at Clef for once.

"So I always have my sugarbear."

"Sugarbear?" Glass leant in.

"That's one of my names for him."

"Ah. Any particular reason you call him sugarbear?"

"Because he's my sugarbear, Glass." Clef snaked away from the advancing doctor in front of him. He felt slightly threatened, and his eyes widened under his mask.

"Does manipulating him give you some kind of release?"

"It gives in to my willingness to become god. I am Mini Bright's god. I created him, and I can destroy him. Life is a temperamental thing, but with Mini Bright I am in complete control of it, and I control him like he's a thermostat. Up and down, death's door to life's highs. I can make him do anything and call it God's will - Clef's will. Well, let's put my display of power down to this; I could slash in to the sock he's made out of with my pocket knife, leave him for days, sew him up and I'd be the hero. It's all about making the circumstances convenient for you, Glass."

"Fine. You can go, Clef." Glass said, through gritted teeth. "Don't hurt the Bright puppet. It makes you look like a creep."

"I never would. But the god you sacrifice yourself to could do just that."

Clef walked backwards into the elevator, maintaining some kind of direct eye contact with him the whole time.

"Send Dr. Bright down, will you?"

"I will, Glassy." Clef blew a kiss at him.

Meanwhile, Jack was in Clef's office, halfway through typing up his report. He noticed the little lump on his lap was offering up a headphone to him, half asleep. Jackie's head lulled in the air, and Jack moved down his arm to catch it, so she didn't fall and hurt herself. She dropped the headphone, and dragged it up again to shove it in her ear. Even if she offered it, it was never a good idea to take it; move too much and she'd get pissed. The only good time to do it was when you didn't have to move, but Jack had to move to be able to see the screen in front of him.

It hadn't been a surprise she moved; he knew she wasn't really asleep, just resting her eyes. He could say he was lucky for being able to read her body language that well, but it was honestly just nine years of being her father. She was still listening to her music, whatever she was listening to. He could make an educated guess, but he didn't really need to know. She had a lot, but she liked to stick to a few of her favourite things. He couldn't really blame her for that, of course. She enjoyed what she enjoyed, and although it was good to find new things, Jackie was Jackie and she was doing her best, and her best was enough for him. 

There were a couple of rules for raising Jackie, and they were fairly simple to follow. Don't let her get overly stressed, or she'd pick at her skin or pull her hair out. Keep plasters on you, anyway, she hates the look of scratch marks. Let her swear if she needed to to vent frustration, she knew when to, and she was somewhat sensible about it. Always let her know before touching her, give her a few seconds warning. Don't crowd her with people. And keep her damn hair out her eyes and off her neck.

Jack continued to type as Jackie shifted position slightly, and he pulled his chair forwards. One of her tiny fists clenched, just like when she was a young child. She blew out her cheeks.

"What's wrong, babygirl?" He said in a quiet voice, as not to alarm her.

"Exciting music." 

"Do you want me to switch you to something calmer?" He suggested, voice still quiet, adjusting her in his lap to hold her tight, but not too tight.

"I like this song."

"If it's making you overexcited, then you shouldn't be listening to it, sweetheart. I can't let you jump around in here. Clef would kill me."

"Can I go jump around outside?" Jackie whined, clenching her fist harder.

"Well, you wouldn't be able to do that while you were working, would you? You'd just have to change the song. Sorry, baby."

She blew out her cheeks again, and gripped down on the small music player, changing the song to something calmer. Jack scooped the hair out of her face again and pinned it back properly with the clips in her hair. He was glad she had that kind of hair that stuck up on end easily, it made it so much easier to cut and keep out her way.

"Such a beautiful girl." He whispered, adjusting the lab coat that hung off her shoulders. It was his, after all. He'd had a new one since she'd stolen his, but Jackie loved her lab coat, and Jack couldn't blame her. She'd come home after the containment breach, and slept so well in it, all night long. From then on, he used to keep it with him in the day, and he'd give it to her in the night. Unfortunately, the coat began to smell too much like baby, but Jackie still slept with it religiously; it was her favourite blanket, and she loved to go out with it and chew on its edges and cuddle up in it with one of the many teddies she had in her crib.

She started to wear it when she got older, when she decided that she wanted to be like her dad. He'd always wondered if the lab-coat blanket had spurred that choice, seeing the faded logo on it's chest, or simply seeing him, coming home from days at work with interesting stories to tell and interesting things to write. He often wondered if Jackie was supposed to know as much as she did, but Clef had been the one to authorise her, and he had a soft spot for her, too. He'd been around her since before she was born, for hell's sake. Besides, she wanted to work at the foundation and had shown loyalty by not telling anyone. 

Of course, his family knew a thing or two as well, but not the specifics. Jackie had demanded to know these things and was doing online research and she was protected from the Feds by his position. He'd denied it, but she kept coming out with more, and the fear of her telling made him confirm what she was thinking. She knew too much now.

He'd covered for her, of course, telling others that she'd found his computer or that she'd looked at all his reports.

They had different views on it, however. Jack thought this was terrifying. Sure, it used to be fun, working for a top-secret agency, but now it was fucking terrifying. He'd been kidnapped, just so he could work for them, and all these monsters that could breach containment any moment and kill the people he held dear? Terrifying. But Jackie was still young. She thought all this was brilliant, and he couldn't blame her, it was pretty cool, but he just wished she saw the foundation as more of a threat than an ally, and approached it with that same caution he did.

She would in time. That's just what Jack had to hope. When she'd worked there for as long as he had, she'd understand. Though, she hopefully wouldn't make the mistake he did and bring a baby to the place. 

Two thoughts made him cringe, the idea of ever bringing a baby there again, and the idea of grandchildren. He didn't think Jackie had it in her, for a start. He didn't want to. She hated babies, and he thought she'd have lunged at the twins when they were born, but thank god she didn't. Maybe the twins could. He didn't know them very well yet, they were just small. They didn't act like Jackie did, though, so they were alright.

He noticed Jackie had moved again, into another uncomfortable position, but she seemed happy there, so Jack started typing again. He was actually making some fairly good progress; maybe Jackie's lectures on comfortable, well furnished offices were rooted in fact. That was probably one of her most adorable interests. Office ergonomics out the mouths of babes!

Jackie flopped in his lap like a fish, dangling her feet over his legs, and looked somewhat comfortable there, so he left her while writing his report up. He took a moment to decipher his own scrawly, blotchy handwriting, and then got back to writing again, having finished the description of the object. Just addenda and tests from now on. Perfect.

The way she was lying on his lap reminded him of something, and he was getting damn sick of flashbacks, but sometimes, they had to be done. Jackie got sick when she was little; very sick. God, he'd been terrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: finally figured out how to do proper author’s notes! Wahoo!  
> Other than that; the next chapter is around 20,000 words long. It’s going to take me a while to edit it slightly and format it for Ao3. Possibly a day, maybe two. Also, giving a length warning. Because it’s longer than 20,000 words.


	6. Chapter Six - Appendicitis Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack remembers the time his daughter has appendicitis. Good times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot! After days of editing, its finally done :’). Final word count; 21914 words.  
> This is most likely gonna be the last update for a while, I have more chapters to complete. Thanks for reading, y’all!

Jackie was four years old at the time. She hadn't been talking for very long, and she'd recently had her diagnosis for autism done. She'd just had all her hair cut off, and she was covered in plasters at the the time. 

Since she'd only recently started talking, she had a lot of trouble with describing how she was feeling, and Jack had been slowly teaching her some feelings with limited success using flash cards. She was sick of it, and she'd run away every time she saw him holding them. It just ticked the girl off, made her loathe small pieces of paper with words on them. He couldn't blame her. It just killed him whenever she ran to someone else. He could understand why, but he was just so fucking jealous. He was just trying to help, for God's sake!

He had a day off with her, for once, and it was raining outside. They sat together inside the house, Jack reading through a book, and Jackie flicking the wheels of a car. He pushed up his glasses, and closed the book, his finger keeping his place. He looked towards her. 

_“How are you feeling, Jackie?”_ He asked. Whenever he spoke to her, he took on a clear, quite childish voice to help her process what he had said. It worked fairly well.

She grunted, and looked back down at the small car in her hands. There was yet another botched attempt at teaching her how she felt this morning.

 _“You don't look like you feel that way, Jackie.”_ He challenged. He was met with narrowing, glaring eyes and a gritted-teeth growl.

 _“Shush.”_ She held her hand up towards him, and went back to her car. 

_“Well, you shouldn't be scared of telling me how you feel, baby girl. I think you should, you're better at telling me how you feel than you think.”_

_“No.”_ She blew out her cheeks and slammed the car to the ground.

_“Jackie, are you feeling sick?”_

She looked up at him and glared at him. Well, at least she didn't have any problems showing emotions. She just couldn't communicate them.

She stood up and ran off to her bedroom, and Jack silently followed behind her to see what she was up to. The already heavy rain outside hardened on the roof, and the sky window in the hallway showcased it to him, like it was dripping down next to his feet.

Jackie had ended up in her bed, curled up with her lab coat. She dribbled on it and held it tight, her eyes held shut. He knelt down next to her bed.

 _“Go.”_ She mumbled.

 _“I haven't got the flashcards, I promise. Promise promise promise.”_ He sang to her. _“Look, I haven't got them.”_

She opened one of her eyes and he opened his palms, allowing her to see he didn't have anything with him. She reached out to touch his hands, and tried to pull him close to her with his finger.

 _“I won't fit in there, sweetheart. I'm much too big.”_ He lifted her out of bed with her lab coat, and brought her through the house to his bedroom. _“You wanna go for a nap? I'll let you use mama's blanket, her super fuzzy one.”_

She nodded, and Jack laid her down in his bed, wrapping her in the white blanket the woman who often slept with him would don at night. It reminded him of her, and sometimes he wrapped himself in it to feel like he was with her, or at least near her. After spending so much time with her when she was pregnant, and having her sleep there nearly every night because of the mattress's comfort, he wasn't so used to her eclectic sleep preferences. 

Jackie loved their bed, it smelled like them, and she'd been with her mother more as of late. The parent she gravitated to was changing and it made him want to cry - he loved her so damn much, and he was trying his best to be the best father he possibly could to her. She loved him so much when she was a baby, why not now? She was finally reactive and she was happy and he was learning how to approach her, and he was trying to teach her, but she wouldn't let him. God, why? Why wouldn't she let him?

Jack laid down next to her, wrapped up in the blanket, and curled up with her. It was tranquil in the bed, and it was like when she was a baby again, when she needed that kind of attention to be able to get to sleep. He was quite happy with that, if he was honest, it was something he knew he was good at giving to her.

The rain picked up in speed, and hammered down on the window again. The wind battered branches of ivy against the window, and a flash of lightning lit up the room.

 _“Are you going for a sleep, Jackie?”_ He whispered to her. 

He heard a little whimper from beneath the bedsheets and he was suddenly puzzled; he pulled the layers of blanket away to see his daughter sobbing, face bright red and covered in tears. His heart dropped from it's pedestal and melted over his insides, the way it always did when she was crying. He sat up, and lifted her in to his lap, bouncing her to try and console her, but she didn't stop.

She started to cry louder and louder, and he stopped his rocking entirely, which brought down her tears, but he was shaking himself; what had he done wrong to make her feel this way? He felt awful about it, she was his baby, why couldn't he keep her from crying?

 _“Jackie, sweetheart, I need you to be a big brave girl. You're going to have to tell me what's wrong.”_ He tried to say, his voice wobbling. When she was crying like this, it always brought him to the brink of tears. He hated it when she was upset. She sounded like she was in pain, and she wasn't giving a reason.

 _“Hurt!”_ She cried, finally remembering one of the emotions he'd taught to her. It was a particularly nasty one he had to teach to her; he'd had to flick her to demonstrate it. It was only light, but she'd pulled her wrist away from him in disgust, and done it back to him twice as hard.

 _“Hurt? You're hurting?”_

Jackie nodded, still crying.

 _“Can you point it out to me, where it is you're hurting, Jackie?”_ He was trying to keep his cool, but seeing her like this made him feel so shaken.

She pointed to her tummy, still crying. 

_“Hey, hey, Jackie?”_ He soothed, trying to console her. _“I'm gonna give you some medicine, that'll make it better.”_

 _“Don't want medicine!”_ She yelled, defiance and anger expelled in her voice.

_“Well, you've got to have medicine. It'll help you feel better.”_

Fighting her reluctance, he pulled her out of bed to take her to the kitchen, placing her on the counter. He stumbled for a moment, and then fumbled through the bottles of medicine that littered the cupboards, finding one labelled with the word 'calpol.' He jammed his hand down on the bottle's lid and twisted it, the cap falling on the floor, and pouring the purple liquid on to the shaking spoon in his hands.

 _“Open up, Jackie.”_ He said, his hand shaking as he shoved it in to the little girl's mouth. He removed it, and placed it on the counter besides her. _“That should be better for you, baby girl. It might take a while to kick in.”_

 _“Bed.”_ She whispered, still crying.

 _“You wanna go to bed, Jackie?”_ He asked, holding out his arms. _“I'll even put you in me and your mama's bed.”_

 _“Yeah.”_ She nodded, face still red and wet with tears. 

He brought her through to his bedroom again, and closed the curtains, then tucked her in to bed, wrapping her in her mama's blanket.

_“You try and get some sleep, alright, Jackie? When you wake up, you'll feel a lot better.”_

_“Sure, daddy?”_ She spoke more than one word, for once.

_“Yeah, of course I'm sure. I love you, baby girl.”_

She never responded to that, no matter how hard she tried. Maybe she just didn't know how.

He held her hand and kissed her palm before standing up to leave, and while he was in the doorway, he wondered whether he should stay with her. He decided against it; it would only distract her from trying to sleep.

He resumed his original position in the living room reading through a Hemingway novel. His glasses pulled him through pages of story, seconds turned into minutes. He sliced his finger on the fine, sharp pages of the book, blood staining the edge of a page. Every now and then, his eyes wandered to the clock in the corner, where he couldn't quite see. His glasses were too small.

The radio turned on in the background, and played it's quiet song, while he read in the chair. God, it was finally his day off. Time to rest, relax and forget the worries of working at the foundation; and there were a lot of those. Maybe Jackie was a little sick, but she'd get better. He didn't have to worry about her too much.

The door creaked open. He closed the book he was holding, folding the corner of his page down to keep his place. He physically looked up at the clock; two and a half hours had passed since he had put Jackie to bed. That was his relaxation. He looked in the gap of the door, and there little Jackie was. He noticed that she bit at the sides of her cheeks, holding the door.

 _“Good evening, Jackie.”_ He smiled and motioned her in. He pushed up his glasses and she gently padded in to the room, sitting down on the floor again. She resumed playing with the car she had focused on earlier, flicking it's wheels almost viciously. _“How's my favourite little girl feeling?”_

Jackie looked up, stopping rolling the wheels of the car. _“Still hurt.”_

_“Is the pain not as bad? Did you get any sleep?”_

_“Not bad. Did sleep.”_

_“Maybe you're feeling hungry? I could cut you up some fruit, maybe-”_

_“Shush.”_ She motioned with her hand for him to stop talking.

He shut up about it then. He felt like fruit for himself, but he also didn't want to leave Jackie on her own. She was feeling sick, and he needed to be there for her. He picked his book back up, and started to read again, though this time, Jackie played with the car louder. The rain pounded down on the windows, the wind made use of the trees. It sent a branch flying past the window, as if the branch were a leaf. Jack marvelled at nature's sheer force silently, lips parted in awe.

 _“Dad.”_ Jackie said, having put the car down on the floor again.

 _“Uh-huh?”_ He ripped his head from the sight outside to face his daughter, having the book lean down towards his chest.

_“Hurt.”_

_“I can't give you any medicine yet. We have to wait longer.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Well, you might get very sick if I give you too much medicine.”_

Jackie pointed to herself. _“Sick.”_

_“You'll just get sicker, and you'll have to go to hospital.”_

_“Hospital.”_ Jackie pointed at herself. _“Big hurt. Big sick.”_

_“Well, I have no way to measure that. You're only showing symptoms of a stomachache, and I can't take you to the hospital for a stomachache.”_

_“Cry. Cry big.”_ She pointed at herself again. _“Bad.”_

_“You're not bad 'cause you cried, Jackie. You're in pain. It's not like you're crying over a sandwich having thicker crusts than the average loaf.”_

_“Big pain. Cry!”_

_“You cried because you were in a lot of pain?”_

She nodded, and then pinched herself. _“Little pain.”_ She then pointed to her tummy. _“Big pain.”_

 _“You're saying it's worse than being pinched?”_ Jack furrowed his brow in confusion. Jackie was an enigma at the best of times.

She nodded, happy, like he'd just cracked the code.

 _“So you want me to take you to the hospital, because it feels worse than being pinched?”_ Jack clarified his understanding of her broken speech.

 _“Yeah!”_ She clapped her hands together and nodded.

 _“If you start being sick, Jackie, I'll take you to the hospital. Alright?”_ He bargained. _“You did completely overreact when I pinched you.”_

She nodded, and stood up again.

 _“Hugs?”_ Jack asked, arm outstretched, but Jackie ran to the door, different ideas in mind. _“Alright. Goodbye, Jackie. Sleep tight, have fun. Whatever you're going to do.”_

She waved to him before running back to her room, as could be heard on the baby monitor, and getting in to bed. He was glad she was in there now; the better baby monitor was in there.

Jack returned to the wonders of his book, getting dragged back in as soon as the baby monitor noted that Jackie was in bed and snoring softly again. She must have been tired from all the crying and wheel-rolling. He pushed his glasses up every now and then, as they would fall down, and he couldn't see the top of the page. 

_“Jack.”_ He heard the voice of Jackie's mother from across the hallway. She hung up her coat, entered the living room and melted into the sofa. _“Where is she?”_

_“Put herself to bed. She feels sick.”_

_“It's raining out there.”_

_“I know.”_

She stood up, and stretched, edging her feet around Jackie's toys and over to him. She leaned over the arm of his chair, standing on tip toes, and kissed him on the nose. When he didn't respond, she simply stood up and stretched again, finding her way to the kitchen. She brought herself back a glass of red wine, holding it in one of her hands.

 _“So, what happened today?”_ She asked, taking a sip of the wine in her hand. _“Was she good?”_

_“She's sick. But she was able to tell me she was sick. The flashcards are working.”_

_“She hates those bloody flashcards! It's a wonder she's even paying attention.”_ She took another sip of wine.

_“I am kinda worried, though. She's got a really bad stomachache.”_

_“The little lass'll be fine, Jack. She must have eaten dirt again, or the like.”_

Jack continued to read his book, and she sipped her wine. No words were exchanged between the two of them.

Some time passed, and her wine was now finished. She swayed over to him, and leant over the top of his book, her thick golden jewellery obstructing his view. Now she had his attention, she leant down. She knew how to play him perfectly, of course. One of her superpowers.

 _“Jack, my love, are you hungry?”_ She asked. He was slightly disappointed; he was hoping she was going to ask for a little more.

 _“Not exactly.”_ He said. He hadn't done much that day other than stop Jackie from crying, talk to her occasionally, make her food that she didn't eat and read. 

_“I'll make you a small portion then, Jack. You need your food, I know you've barely eaten!”_ She sang, coming in closer. Jack closed his book again, keeping his space with a folded over page corner. _“Look at you, your eyes are sunken, you haven't slept either? Did she forbid you a nap?”_

He stood up from his chair, slinging his book to the side, and got close to her.

 _“I don't sleep very well when you're not in my bed.”_ He whispered.

 _“Jack, you also don't sleep very well when you're horny.”_ She accused, her tall frame looming over his tiny body.

_“That may as well be true, but still. I quite enjoy your cuddles too.”_

_“Well, isn't that just adorable? If I suck you off and cuddle you afterwards it's a guaranteed sleep.”_ Her voice teased him and sent shivers down his spine.

_“Not the way you phrase it, hon. But yes, I'd sleep.”_

_“Fellatio is not on the table tonight. It fucks with your head far too much.”_

_“Well, it's boring, anyway. That's why I sleep through it.”_ He challenged.

_“Then I'll bite the damn thing and shove a ring on it and suck you off six times without stopping before you're begging for my mercy, wait twenty minutes and do it again, if you think it's boring. That should hand some enjoyment to his Lordship.”_

_“You haven't got the willpower.”_

_“I'll do anything to prove someone wrong.”_ She pushed him down on the sofa with poise and grace, but kept a firm hand on his chest to keep him from rioting. He stayed incredibly quiet underneath her, and she sat on his lap to tease him. 

_“You're tipsy.”_ He accused, head jerking towards her.

_“And that's your excuse for what?”_

_“Well, I'm not having sex with you, because I'm sober and you aren't. It's not right.”_

_“So you want it, and then you deny it?”_

_“Never said I wanted it now. Wait a few hours.”_ He mumbled. _“Though I don't... I don't think we'll be getting much alone time.”_

She slid off his lap and kissed him before getting up to leave the room. She sauntered into the kitchen, and he didn't see much of her for a while after that. The noise of frying filled the air soon after.

 _“Daddy.”_ He heard from behind him. He recognised the voice instantly.

 _“Hello, Jackie.”_ His legs pulled him up and faced him towards her.

 _“Sick.”_ Jackie pointed to herself.

_“Were you sick into the toilet, or do you just feel really bad?”_

_“Toilet.”_ She pointed at herself again.

_“Well, are you feeling better now?”_

_“No.”_

Jack followed her through to the toilet, where she'd been sick all up the hallway. It was barely in the damn bathroom, mostly around it. He felt absolutely exasperated, but at least she was going to feel better after vomiting whatever bug she had out.

 _“Right, daddy'll clean you up now. Would you get in the shower for me?”_ He remembered, the last time he'd asked her to get in the shower, she'd gotten in and turned it on with her clothes still on. _“And could you please take your clothes off first?”_

_“Yes, daddy.”_

_“How long ago were you sick, Jackie?”_

_“Big time.”_ She smiled. _“Then sleep.”_

_“You threw up, and instead of calling for daddy, you went for a nap?”_

She nodded, excited.

 _“Alright.”_ He took a breath out. It was better to be told now than to step in it later. _“Go on, get in the shower.”_ He couldn't help but smile, just a little. He'd done a similar thing when he was a kid, anyway. He walked through to the kitchen. _“She was sick.”_

_“Was she, now?”_

_“All over the carpet.”_

_“The hoover in the attic will make quick work of that, my love.”_

_“I'm going to go hose her down, hon. It's all over the hall near her room, so be careful.”_

_“That's fine, Jack. Go wash her. I'll make her some tea and toast, that's good food for little people.”_

_“What are we having, hon?”_

_“Stir fry.”_

_“Alright.”_

_“Go on. You know not to disturb me while I'm cooking.”_

Jack nodded, and ran down the corridor where he could hear water running. Jackie was in the bath, thankfully not wearing her clothes. Jack took a small, soft rag out of a caddy besides him, lathered it with soap and started to paw at her cheeks with it to wipe the residue of sick off her face.

_“How'd you get so much sick on you? You're so little! I didn't know a girl this little could get so sick!”_

Jackie giggled, and sat down on the floor of the shower.

His paranoid self was starting to worry about his little girl; she had a lot of communication problems, and she couldn't tell them what was wrong with her, because she just didn't understand how. She could have been experiencing the most awful pain in the world and he would never know because she just couldn't explain it. 

He'd decided to himself that he was going to stay awake that night to ensure she was safe. Those tears hadn't been normal, and he had heard them since the day she was born. He knew them off by heart, and what each one meant. It was her communication, he supposed. Though, the calpol he'd given her had seemed to help a lot with the pain, and she was smiling and laughing again, so she'd be fine for the next few hours.

God, her smiles and laughs were so important to him. She had so many different ones, from her little tickly laughs to her laughs when she'd found things she found funny. She'd clap whenever she laughed, and he thought it was the most wonderful thing in the world. Although infrequent, she gave wonderful hugs too. God, they made him so happy. 

Now finished with her cheeks, he took a bottle of shampoo from the caddy and put a dollop in his hand, then started to lather it up over her head. She giggled as it dripped on her a little, and he started to rub it in to her hair, making it stand up on end. She managed to get some on her hand, and wiped it over his cheek. Again, he couldn't help but smile at her.

He liked to think she loved him a lot, she had when she was a baby. She used to grab at his hair and stubble and steal his glasses. She would babble to him when they were alone together, but not with anyone else. Of course, she always looked shifty around him, but she looked shifty with everyone. She always looked like she wanted to leave, go somewhere else and be alone. But he liked to think she enjoyed his company enough to stay for a little while.

Though she wasn't good at communicating, he thought that she felt a lot, and had a lot of preferences and favourites and things that made her happy even if she wasn't quite fluent with the word "happy" yet. He hoped that one day she would, so he kept going at it with the flashcards. 

She hated them. She *hated* those flashcards with a burning passion. She thought they were pretty at first, but then she didn't understand. And she hated it. She fucking despised it. He would sit there with her and she would have to be there and she just wouldn't understand what he was talking about and she would start tearing at her hair and crying and trying to run away. It was when she started scratching at her face that he had to put them down, because she had this habit of digging in with her nails as hard as she could, and no matter how many times her mother cut them and blunted them down with a file and a buffer she would find a way to make them sharp again. 

He couldn't get her much more irate or pent up than that. Of course, she could have started smashing at herself with something like a rock she had stashed away, but he would have started crying at that point too. So he stopped long before that happened. 

_“Jackie, could you close your eyes for me?”_ He asked, standing up to take the shower out of it's holder. She shut her eyes, and he knelt in the growing puddle on the floor again, thankful he was still wearing his pyjama shorts. 

Pulling each section of her hair back as he went, he ran the shower over her hair to drain it of the suds that gripped it, but he was careful not to get it in her face. She hated it when water dripped down her face, and he had to respect that. He kept a finger by her hairline to catch any drips that may have come loose.

_“There we go, Jackie! All clean. Would you like to play in the water? I'll turn the bath on for you!”_

_“Bubbles?”_ Jackie asked, clasping her hands together in excitement.

 _“I'll put some bubbles in there for you! And... and...”_ Jack looked to his left, to see a small yellow duck on the floor. _“And a rubber ducky!”_

_“Ducky!”_

Jack stood up, plugging the bath and turning on the cold and hot taps at the same time to keep it a good temperature for her.

_“You like ducks?”_

_“Quack!”_ She yelled enthusiastically. 

_“That's right, ducks quack!”_ He clapped, and she splashed her hands around in the growing supply of water around her. _“You're really smart, aren't you?”_

She didn't respond to him; she didn't understand.

 _“Ducky?”_ She pointed to herself.

 _“Are you asking if you're a ducky?”_ He asked, and she nodded at him. _“No, silly! You're not a ducky, you're a Jackie!”_

She laughed for a long time, clapping her hands the way she did, filling his heart with the joy her laughter always did. He loved her so much.

_“You're a good kid, Jackie.”_

_“Good!”_ She pointed at herself again.

_“That's right! You're a good kid.”_

Jack dropped the little ducky in the bath, and she marvelled at it, chewing on the tail of it. It made a squeaking noise before she dropped it back in herself, happy with her inspection of the duck.

He noticed her eyes had strayed somewhere else, no longer focused on behind him or just to his side. His girlfriend was behind him, holding a wooden spoon in her hand that she'd forgotten to put down.

 _“Playing with ducks?”_ She asked, swaying in to the room. _“Also, how are you, Jackie? I haven't seen you today.”_

_“Hurt less now, mama.”_

_“Ah. And daddy gave you medicine, didn't he?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“You look happy, Jackie. I'm glad daddy took good care of you.”_

_“Good care.”_ Jackie said, splashing around in the water again. Her mother outstretched her arms, and pulled her into a wet hug. Jackie used this as an excuse to get water everywhere in the room, but it needed cleaning, anyway.

Her mother left the room with her wooden spoon, and Jackie's attention returned to the duck. It was such an interesting duck, to her especially. It had a small sparkle on it's wing, and the sparkle changed with the light and did funny things to her eyes. 

The water had risen to her forearms, and Jack decided that was enough for her, so he turned the taps off and swirled the water to make sure the temperature wasn't patchy.

 _“What flavour of bubbles do you want, Jackie?”_ He lifted up two bottles of soap from the caddy to show her. _“We have... green apple, and orange mango.”_

_“Orange bubbles?”_

_“The bubbles won't be orange, but they'll smell like a mango.”_

She thought for a moment about which bubbles she wanted. They sounded quite uninteresting to her, if she was entirely honest. They weren't even coloured, and you couldn't even eat bubbles when daddy was around. 

_“Mango?”_ She could barely pronounce the word; it was so cute.

_“You want mango bubbles?”_

_“Yeah!”_

_“Of course, Jackie!”_ He started to swirl bubbles into the water and Jackie splashed around to help him mix them in. Within a few minutes, she was covered in bubbles.

 _“Bubbles!”_ She exclaimed, picking them up in her hands. She dabbed them all over Jack's now bubble covered hands. _“Look! Pretty!”_

_“You're right, Jackie! They are pretty!”_

She clapped excitedly, spreading bubbles around the room, and she picked some up in her hand and thrust it in to Jack's face, so he could see them, getting some on his nose and on the frames of his glasses. He exhaled through his nose, and a hoard of bubbles came tumbling out. Jackie found it funny and laughed, thrusting bubbles in to his face again.

 _“Jackie!”_ He exclaimed, blowing the bubbles out his nose again. 

_“Daddy!”_

The bubbles had made the grips on his glasses slippery, and they slipped down his nose and in to the bath. Now, he couldn't see, and he put his hand into the bath. He shut his eyes; his leg slipped, and he dived head first into the bathtub, making a huge splash. He put his hands on either side of the tub and pushed himself up and out of the water, his hair a sloppy, wet mess that dripped all over him.

 _“Silly!”_ Jackie clapped, trying to put his wet glasses on to his face. She stabbed him in the eye with the temple of his glasses, but eventually got them to rest on his face.

A warm white towel overcame his head and shoulders, and so did a presence.

 _“Come on, Jackie, out the bathtub. You've got the bathroom wet enough, you don't need to be soaking your father to the bone as well!”_ It was Jackie's mother, come to rescue him. She must have heard the splashing and come to see what had happened.

 _“I-I'll get her out the bath, don't worry.”_ Jack ruffled the towel over his head and stood up, picking Jackie up with the warm towel. Happy with the warmth, she closed her eyes and leant in to his shoulder, her soaking red hair dripping water down his back. He stepped over the drying puddles of sick in the hallway and in to her bedroom, where another towel was waiting for them. He used this one on her hair, and used it to dry it, keeping the wet clumps out of her face the best he could. When he was finished with that, he tied her hair up, and dried his own hair, which was still dripping down his back.

_“You look a lot happier now you've been in the bath, Jackie. Lots and lots happier.”_

_“Happy!”_ She exclaimed, clapping her hands.

_“Does your tummy still hurt?”_

_“Not much anymore...”_

_“We'll keep an eye on it, then. Can you put your pyjamas on?”_

_“Yes, daddy.”_

He smiled, and as he turned to leave the room, she said something he didn't think she would say.

_“I love you.”_

He squealed on the inside, and ran over to her to hug her. _“I love you too, Jackie. I love you so, so much.”_

This hug lasted a while, Jackie settling in her daddy's arms and making a kissing noise, an adorable, overestimated 'mwah!' like he would make before pulling away from him. Jack understood this as his cue to leave, so he left, and found his way down to the kitchen, Jackie's mother now plating up the food she'd made.

 _“You two are adorable together. Honestly, you're such a good father.”_

_“I'm glad we have a daughter, hon. I love her so much.”_

_“God, Jack, we know! To think you cried when I told you that you'd be a good father, though... you're so cute.”_

_“Hon!”_ He blushed.

She picked up the plates and sauntered through to the living room, placing them at the table. Jack followed her, and sat down next to her.

 _“How was your day, hon?”_ He asked. 

_“Ugh, same old! Completing the same potions for the same customers over and over. My cauldron is getting sick from all the baby's breath I've shoved in to it in the past few days! I understand wanting to keep your youth, or wanting longer hair, but asking for romance potions so your wife will love you? That's when it gets sad.”_ She took a bite out of her food. 

_“If I ever gave you a romance potion, would you think it was sad?”_

_“They don't work on me. But you wouldn't need to, babe. I love you.”_ She assured, petting his back.

_“I love you too, hon.”_

Jack started eating, but the taste of bubbles on his mouth was preventing him from being all that impressed by the food. He put his fork down to make some conversation again.

 _“What's wrong, Jack?”_ Her voice soothed, gliding across the air.

_“I can still taste Jackie's soap in my mouth. It's making me gag.”_

_“Aww.”_ She crooned, and put a hand on his back. _“It's no more tears, you should be okay.”_

There was a brief silence between them as Jack tried to wash the soap down with the glass of wine she'd set out on the table for him. He sipped on it. He didn't really like the taste of wine, but he appreciated her hospitality.

_“Jack, what would you do if I got pregnant again?”_

_“Are you pregnant?”_ He asked, snapping his head towards her in a rush of terror.

_“No, but I've been thinking about it recently, you know, how cute Jackie was when she was a baby...”_

_“We have a baby already. And she's going to need a lot of help growing up-”_

_“Jack, babe, I don't want another kid. I'm just wondering what we would do in that situation.”_

_“Well, of course I'd support you and look after you, same as I did with Jackie, but it'll be harder for me because I'd have to balance her and you.”_

She nodded, and started eating again.

 _“Hungry?”_ He asked, desperate to change the subject.

_“I haven't eaten today.”_

_“Me neither.”_

_“You did feed Jackie, didn't you?”_

_“Of course I did, hon.”_

_“What did she eat?”_

_“I _fed_ her. She didn't eat.”_ Jack lamented, annoyance in his voice.

_“I suppose that maybe she was feeling too excited for food?”_

_“I'm worried there's something up with her.”_

_“You're always worried, Jack.”_

There was silence again, but the sound of snoring from the baby monitor behind him. Jackie had put herself to bed again.

_“She was in pain earlier. A lot of pain. She cried like she had colic again, it was awful.”_

_“Is that how badly she cried?”_

_“Yeah, hon. Why?”_

_“She cried like that when she had an ear infection, you know? When she was a baby, and we had to take her to hospital because her fever just wouldn't go.”_

_“I'm going to stay awake tonight. If anything happens, she'll have her dad to wake up to. I can take her to the ER if she needs it.”_

_“I'll drive, you hold. I think we're the only ones that'll be home tonight, and she seems to be gravitating towards you today.”_

_“Yeah. I think that was because I was here constantly instead of people in and out. She's in a good mood because she had a couple of naps, as well.”_

_“How many?”_ She took a generous sip of her wine and swallowed it.

_“Three. If you're driving, don't drink any more of that.”_

_“Oh, right.”_ She pushed her wine towards him and took another bite of her food instead.

_“Thanks.”_

More awkward dinner silence. Jack couldn't bring himself to eat much of his food. Thinking about a sick Jackie put him off it entirely. Especially that damned ear infection; it was the first time she'd ever gotten properly sick. 

_“Not feeling hungry, Jack?”_

_“Sorry, hon. I'm just... thinking about her. I'm worried.”_

_“She'll be fine. If it gets too bad, we'll take her to the ER.”_ She took the last bite of her food and pushed her plate away. _“Go lie down, Jack.”_

He obeyed her, slipping down from the bar stool, and walked through to his bedroom. Jackie had left her lab-coat blanket on the bed, and he very gently picked it up, knowing how much it meant to her. It was falling apart. It smelled of her, not really a baby smell anymore, she was developing her own. Of course, the faint scent of him still lingered; not long ago were the days when he used to keep it close to him all day so she would sleep easier at night. There were holes in the stitching between the sleeves and the hem was falling apart at the bottom. This used to be his, a little over four years ago. He would have gotten rid of this and had a new one made by now, maybe even two, but this was Jackie's little turf. It was so weird to think of that, how something he simply wore and replaced when broken, could have meant so much to her. So much.

He slipped into her room quietly to find her sleeping in her bed, wearing something oversized. She held one of her soft plushes in her arms and dribbled on it, and her arm was free from her duvet's grasp. He placed the lab coat over her in the pale sunset light, a brief moment of tranquility in a dark, winding storm.

After leaving her room, he climbed a set of stairs to the third story, and found his way to the balcony. On his way out, he dragged a plastic lawn chair behind him out to the balcony and placed it slightly to the side, closing the PVC door behind him and sitting on the chair.

He took in a breath of the fresh air that lingered after the storm. He looked out over the farm, to see a tree blown over in the distance, stripped of it's bark and naked. The hum of fireflies filled the air. Earlier, it had been dark, the wind whipping at the leaves, battering the brick and wood of the house. But for a moment, it was a still, beautiful sunset.

Of course, he could feel the tension raising in the air, slowly but surely. Another storm would come. But he wanted to enjoy this sunset while he could. He hadn't got to in a while.

The air here was refreshing, and so was the wet atmosphere. It was warm, but the wetness kept him cool at the same time. Summer was such an odd time in this part of the country. Days like this weren't so uncommon, but a storm of this magnitude was. It was refreshing for something like this to happen. 

He stood up off his chair to take some kind of scenery in. He looked at the vegetables and the trees that separated their farm from the rest of the world. Past those trees, Site 19 was visible. It was fairly hard to get there, though. You had to know the route to be able to access the tunnels, and know about the security measures they took, and how to bypass them.

His hands slid over the wet railing, collecting the water at either side and flicking it off, sending it flying storeys down to the ground. His bare feet felt odd on the wet decking beneath them; they didn't want to grip or slip. He ended up sitting on the decking, and shoving his legs through the railing, dangling them into what felt like oblivion. 

He didn't want to think about work, not really. He didn't want to go back, not when his baby was sick. He could have taken a few days off, but Clef would get mad, but if he knew Jackie was in hospital or something he'd understand. He'd probably bring something for her, knowing Clef. 

But even if she didn't end up in hospital, which he was hoping for, he didn't want to go in. At a time like this she needed a solid guardian there to care for her, not coming home on lunch break to stay with her until the next person came along. Him being there was good for her, it would help her recover since she wouldn't be as stressed. It was such a dilemma. He always wanted to put Jackie first. He felt obligated to do it. He was her father. But he had so much to balance, with his job, and his baby, and his relationships with his girlfriends and his boyfriend and his friendship with Clef and his alliances with the containment specialists, that he sometimes didn't know what to do. He laid down on the balcony, legs dangling past the railing, soaking the back of his shirt with the wet that the storm had left.

He stared at the red, orange sky above him, the purples and pinks and blues swirling together to create a sunset. He reached out to touch it, and he kept his arm in the air, as if to swirl it around in a puddle. The sky touched him back, meeting him with a rain drop, then two, and three more after that. He stood up, and the sky began to hammer the rain down, rain washing the colours he'd been so enthralled away. It was as if they drained from the sky. Dragging the chair inside before it could soak him, he stared yearnfully at the now grey skies, he sighed, and he went inside, travelling downstairs again and diving in to his bed.

An incoming text from Clef kept his eyes open, and he grabbed at his phone to be able to read it.

**are you coming in tomorrow x**

Clef's text-speech was always annoying.

__probably. Jackie might be going to hospital, in which case fuck off.__  
**thats fine what's she got x**  
__don't know but she's really sick__  
**if she's in hospital i will forcibly remove the bacteria from her body no single celled bastard fucks with my niece x**  
__thanks for sharing concern__  
__clef why do you end every text with an x__  
**emotionally I am a 40 year old woman x**  
**also everyone likes your replacement more than you, his name is mini bright and he's a sock puppet x**  
__lol why__  
**because he's more interesting x**  
**and because he doesn't treat d class like cum socks in a teenage boy's bedroom x**  
__but I don't__  
**reputation babe x**  
__what rumours have you been spreading clef__  
**not telling but i have been a cheeky minx with these ones x**  
__youre always a cheeky minx__  
**oh stop it honeypot x**  
**i told them you like hot topic hope you like gift cards x**  
**saw you looking at a sonic wallet the other day so im doing some crowdfunding x**  
__clef what is it. what is it you've told them.__  
**told them about the kissing incident in Vegas x**  
**this is what happens when you're not here to protect your reputation x**  
__i kissed you once and I'll do it again the fuck__  
**fuck that's a wasted day of gossiping x**  
__i gotta nap. I'm not sleeping tonight.__  
**thats alright jack, have a good nap, if you need any company tonight then let me know x**  
__i will, clef.__  
**love you x**

Jack put his phone down and placed it under his pillow, and closed his eyes, laying down on his side. 

Today really had tired him. From his crying baby to all that worry, and bathtime and eventually silence. He just had to get a little good rest in now so he could look out for Jackie. And maybe she'd be fine. Maybe she wouldn't even wake up, and he'd be there all night waiting for her. That's what he wanted, so he slept with that in mind.

He woke up to Jackie's mother tapping him on the shoulder.

 _“Hey, babe.”_ She whispered, petting his hair. It was still damp from Jackie's bath earlier, and his clothes were moist from laying out on the balcony. She leant in and she gave him a tender kiss on his lips to wake him up.

_“Mmh, what time is it?”_

_“Half past ten.”_

A good two hours of sleep, then. More at once than he'd had in a few days.

 _“And how's my baby?”_ He rubbed his eyes as she helped him out of bed.

_“She's restless. I think she's in a lot of pain, she's due more medicine.”_

_“You should have woken me up when it was time for that.”_

_“Well, you've been having a lot of trouble sleeping. She can wait a little, she's asleep.”_

A whimper emanated from the baby monitor behind them. Jack left her grasp to check on his daughter, curled up in her tiny bed. She was still holding the same teddy as earlier.

 _“Hey, Jackie. Are you okay?”_ He whispered, putting a hand on the bed. She opened one eye quickly; she hadn't been sleeping at all. 

_“No. Hurt.”_

_“It's time for some more medicine, baby.”_

_“No eat!”_ She shook her head violently, grasping at her hair and pulling on it. A small pile of her hair laid besides her on her bed. She was crying, her face bright red and covered in tears again. This just wasn't normal. He bit on the insides of his cheeks, trying not to cry.

 _“Come here.”_ He gestured for her to come towards him.

Jackie crawled out the bed and in to his lap. Very gently, he held her in his arms. He was careful not to press down on anything, not to hurt her. He ran his fingers through her hair, keeping it out of her face and neck. 

_“Hey there, baby.”_ He whispered again. _“I love you, did you know that?”_

 _“Know.”_ Her voice was full of tears. 

_“I'm so sorry, baby girl. I'm so sorry that you're hurting.”_

_“Hurt.”_ She whimpered again. He curled some of her hair with one of his fingers, but she slapped it away. She must have been feeling sensitive.

He felt awful. He wished he could take the pain away from her, but it just wasn't possible. He picked her up, as gently as he could, placing her lab coat over her. He padded into the living room, where her mother was waiting for them.

_“This isn't normal, hon. She's in so much pain she's pulling at her hair.”_

_“Do we take her to the ER, then? I mean, thank god I've got an emergency fund.”_

_“I've got insurance that covers children under 10 years old.”_ Jack quickly added. _“We're fine money wise.”_

 _“I'm going to get in to the car. You get in to passable clothes and get her in there.”_ She commanded. _“We can make it through this, alright?”_

Jack nodded, and looked sympathetically at the whimpering child in his arms. He bit on the edge of his lip again, and ran through to his bedroom. 

She struggled to get out of his arms, and he gently let her down. She ran off somewhere else, and he couldn't help but feel upset she had to leave him at a time like this. Then again, it wasn't really like she was in control of the way she felt. Hiding was Jackie's way of controlling her pain.

Quickly, he took all of his wet clothes off, and replaced them with dry ones, and longer trousers. Over the top he added one of his long coats, one that Jackie liked the texture and scent of. He was hoping she would cuddle it when she was in the car. Or maybe, if it was dark enough and empty enough, he'd put her in his lap. He needed to keep her from experiencing more pain than she already was, and being cuddled normally helped her with that. Of course, she might be becoming completely overstimulated, in which case he would just have to leave her at one side of the car until she calmed down. That would have broken his heart, she needed cuddling. He needed to give them to her. 

But he couldn't risk making her angry, she had to be calm and collected for a visit to the hospital. He could see it now; Jackie would kick and scream when the doctors tried to touch her or diagnose her with whatever was wrong. He had to keep her calm.

 _“Jackie?”_ He called, edging along the corridor. She was in her bedroom, pulling her blanket down on her head. _“Jackie!”_

He swiped the blanket from her head, wound it up in his hands, and cast it to one side to see Jackie covering her face with her little hands.

 _“No look!”_ She demanded, slamming one of her feet down. She scrambled for the blanket, and put it over her head again, without really letting him catch a glimpse of her face. It was probably better to leave her that way.

 _“Have you scratched, Jackie?”_ He asked, sighing outward. _“It's okay if you have, sweetheart. You're hurting. I can go get you some band-aids, I'll get you all the boxes and you can choose-”_

 _“Shush!”_ She yelled. 

Shit, he thought. She was the furthest from calm she could get. He pulled himself together. _“Jackie, you need to calm down. Five things you can see, go.”_ He asserted.

 _“Blanket, hand, feet, hair, red.”_ She was surprisingly co-operative with him. Maybe the assertiveness had worked? But... Red? Was she bleeding?

 _“Four things you can feel.”_

_“Blanket, wet, hand, hair.”_ Her speech felt robotic to him, as if she'd become unused to talking. No inflection. It was the simple stating of words.

_“Three things you can hear.”_

_“You, me, storm.”_

_“Good. You're doing really well, Jackie. Two things you can smell.”_

_“Blanket. You.”_

_“And what can you taste?”_

_“Red.”_

_“What does that mean, sweetheart? Are you bleeding?”_

She was unresponsive, and he lifted up the blanket without her realising, so he could see her face. There was a large burning scratch on her cheek, and her bottom lip was bleeding. She looked at him shiftily for a moment, wondering if he was going to get angry, but he didn't.  
 _“What kind of band-aids do you want, Jackie?”_ He sighed, a sympathetic smile on his face.

She didn't respond. He didn't think it was a very good idea to touch her when she was like this, so he extended his hand for her to take. She took it, and he lead her through to the kitchen, helping her up on to the freezer. He took three boxes of band-aids from the side, and showed them to her. Still unresponsive, so he chose two for her. He applied them very gently, as to not make her feel angry or upset again.

_“Jackie, baby girl, do you want to sit on your own in the car, or cuddle daddy?”_

She rubbed her face before pointing at him. He felt flattered by her choice. 

_“Are you sure you can do that? Because it's okay if you can't. It's so, so okay.”_

She nodded, and extended her arms again for a hug. For a moment he put all his energy in to hugging her, and then he walked through to her room again to whisk her lab coat and her blanket off the floor.

_“That's all we should need for now, my sweetest baby.”_

He padded down the stairs to the ground floor, and exited the door with Jackie in his arms. She whimpered as the rain hit her, but Jack shielded her with his hand until he managed to get in to the car with her.

 _“What took you so long?”_ Jackie's mother asked, turning back.

_“I had to calm her down.”_

Jack put Jackie into his lap, and did up the seatbelt. Sitting in the back of a car was so odd. He was tired, but keeping Jackie safe was really his top priority. He placed the blanket over his front, over Jackie, and leant down to kiss her before the car started and the lights turned off. He kept two arms firmly around her as the car backed up and began driving off the terrain of the farm. 

The ride was bumpy at first, and Jackie whimpered, but as the ride became smoother, she stopped whimpering so much. Jack almost fell asleep at the smoothness of the ride; he really needed to sleep. Jackie allowed him to, sleeping a little herself, though she was restless and squirmed in his arms. 

Even with the storm battering the car outside, he felt like this was a brief moment of peace. His little girl in his arms, calm and cool for the most part, and a relaxing ride. He knew he should have been more stressed than this, but he'd been so highly strung all day, so maybe it was best to let his guard down a little when he knew help was on the way for his baby.

He couldn't sleep, though. His brain wouldn't let him, it kept simulating Jackie's cries in a vicious cycle of paying undivided attention to the child in his arms, relaxing a little, almost falling asleep and hearing those cries again. Jack could barely keep his eyes open, but the worry, the anxiety that tore at his lungs and broke the bones in his chest held them open with metal forceps of graphic imagery and situations of whatever could happen, and he was terrified to blink but his head felt like it was about to roll off his neck.

The clawing feeling tore him apart and forced something out his throat, a choked breath, of which startled the woman in the front to bring the car to a halting stop. She got out the car, and removed Jack, his senses a blur in the clawing feeling in his chest, and she left him for a moment to breathe, holding Jackie in her arms for him. There was no point asking if he was okay; his mood was clear. He was a fucking wreck right now.

She knew he had to comfort himself, and she put Jackie in to the car seat behind the driver's seat, and leant in to Jack, now sitting on the edge of the empty road, not too close but not too far away. She gave him her hand, which he grasped tight.

_“When you're ready, my love, we'll be in the car.”_

He nodded, but didn't let go of her hand. She sat down next to him, but she didn't touch him other than the hand.

She noticed him taking deep breaths. Good boy, she thought. Good boy.

_“You get some sleep when we get in to the car, alright?”_

_“My fucking brain won't let me.”_

_“I know, it's a shitty brain-”_

_“No matter what fucking body I'm in, either!”_ He yelled, slamming his hands on the ground. _“Can't I just raise my damn daughter in peace without this fucking anxiety?!”_

 _“Jack!”_ She caught his attention and squeezed his hand tight. _“Do you remember when I was nine months pregnant, and you were fucking terrified, and you didn't sleep or eat for a week, and then you had a massive panic attack when I needed your help?”_

 _“Don't remind me.”_ He turned away in shame.

He remembered that now; he'd blanked it out before. He'd fallen in to a similar cycle where he would remember that the woman next to him in bed was heavily pregnant and needed someone to watch over her, think she was going to be fine, settle down and then remember. He couldn't even bring himself to eat; he couldn't remember, he couldn't even hold a fork, he kept dropping it.

He'd ended up hospitalised. Clef had to take a few days off work because every time he saw her, he'd become anxious again. He didn't eat for days. Didn't sleep, either. He kept passing out and jerking awake until he just kept himself awake. Clef told him to sleep, and forcefully as well, but he just couldn't. He eventually passed out, slept for 45 hours and woke up in the middle of the night with an IV line in his arm, and he was scared and alone until someone came in at 7am to tell him what had happened. 

Then the worry overcame him again, about Jackie's mother, and he was thrown into the cycle again. She didn't go in to labour for two weeks after that. _Two weeks._

_“Jack, this is going down the exact same path as that. Jackie is going to need her father to come through for her and take care of her until she feels better, same I did with getting myself out of bed. Except she is going to have a much more adverse reaction, Jack. So do what I made you do then and tune it out. Think of what the best case scenario is, and keep that front and centre in that wonderful mind of yours.”_

_“Well, what's the best case scenario?”_

_“That she's just got a very bad tummy ache and we get to go home, maybe they prescribe her something to help her out. Jack, you need to think of what it's like when she takes that medicine.”_

He nodded at her, and she let go of his hand to get back in to the car. She was shivering in the cold, but the cold would do something good for Jack.

Meanwhile, Jack's thoughts were messy again because he'd remembered the hospitalisation before Jackie's birth now. The shame and guilt gripped him; she'd _needed_ him. And he couldn't help her because he couldn't sleep and couldn't eat. It took him days to build up the strength to go home. Sure, she'd had others to help, but he'd wanted to be there, he'd been with her every step of the way. 

But she'd had others to help. 

He realised then, the part he'd been missing. She'd had other people to help. Other people that loved her just as much as he did. Maybe in a different way, but they loved her.

He consoled himself with that thought and got back in to the car, strapping himself in, and offering a finger for Jackie to hold. But she was fast asleep. Maybe not much, but she was asleep. And she was fine. She was fine, fine, fine. And she was going to have medicine that was good for her and would help her feel better.

Jackie's mother turned the engine on again, and with Jack strapped in started to drive. Jack put his head against the seat in front of him, and started to sleep.

_“Jack, babe, wake up.”_

The feeling of cold air brushed his face. His eyes flicked open to see Jackie's mother was holding Jackie. They were at the hospital. He took a moment to adjust to his surroundings before crawling out the car and taking Jackie in to his arms where he could see her little face and hands through the two layers of blanket that covered her, a courtesy he didn't have. Sure, he had a coat on, but he was still fucking cold. Jackie looked nice and toasty in her blankets.

Jack followed the woman he loved through to the ER where she of course, took control of the situation. She found a nurse at reception while Jack rocked Jackie, even though she was asleep. Her eyelids were flickering, and he had to keep her calm.

 _“Excuse me? Our daughter, she's in some extreme pain...”_ She began, but Jack was more focused on the little girl in his arms.

 _“Hey there, baby? You're at the hospital now.”_ He whispered to her. _“Just in case you weren't too sure where you were.”_

He swayed from side to side lightly to calm her, because he couldn't bounce her up and down. Jackie's mother motioned for him to take a seat, which he did, and he began playing with Jackie's blankets, wrapping her up differently in them. She came to sit next to them.

The buzzing of people woke Jackie up, despite the fact he'd tried to keep her as far away from everyone else as possible, opting for a seat in the corner. They had to wait to be seen by a doctor now. She whimpered at the noise, but he held her close. Her mother plucked her out of his arms and held her for a few moments, before putting her back. She was sound asleep.

 _“How'd you get her to sleep?”_ He asked. 

_“Spell. It was the only way. I'll keep her under until the doctor comes, but until then... I have to keep her asleep.”_ She was quiet, and she sounded upset. _“God, Jack, I can't bear her cries.”_

_“I know you can't, hon. Neither can I.”_

_“Are you feeling better?”_

_“Sleep did me some good.”_ He admitted, voice quiet and soft.

 _“You still haven't eaten, though.”_ She complained.

_“I ate what you made earlier.”_

_“Barely!”_ Her voice wa practically a hushed shriek. What did she have to be so worried about?

_“I'm sorry, hon.”_

_“It's fine.”_ She crossed her arms and took a deep breath. _“I have something to get off my chest.”_

_“Go ahead, hon.”_

_“Help is on the way for her, but not you. Not you, Jack. And I'm not having you put on a psych ward for two weeks again! It was hell on me and it'll be worse on her, especially as she's sick and all she ever wants is you! I mean, I had two other people to help me out, and even though I missed you and hated that I couldn't see you I was okay. But Jackie is not like that. She sits and waits in front of the door for hours whenever you're on business trips, the hell will she do when she's sick and you're over the other side of the hospital?”_

_“What are you saying?”_ Jack babbled, shocked by her words.

 _“I'm saying she's not fine, Jack!”_ She stunned him. _“I tried to calm you down by saying she was going to be fine, but she isn't going to be fine, so what's the point in lying? I listened to our little girl crying and I can tell you now there is something seriously wrong. Hell, even you can! I cannot have you in the psych ward while she is recovering from whatever the hell this is. I get you have a high level of anxiety but you're also a father to a child depending on you and you're going to have to suck it the fuck up and be there for Jackie throughout this.”_

Jack thought for a moment about what she'd just said, nodding slowly but furrowing his brow, holding Jackie quite tightly. He stayed silent.

_“I'm sorry, Jack, I phrased that wrong, she will be fine, but not now, don't you understand? Jackie will be okay. But it's going to take a bit of time, and for that time, you're going to have to be brave.”_

_“Yeah.”_ He mumbled. 

_“I can't keep pandering to this 'she's going to be fine' notion when I know we're going to be here all night, Jack.”_ She sighed out. _“I'm going to go get a drink. Do you want anything?”_

 _“Coffee.”_ He replied, monotone in voice to bar the tears brewing in his eyes from alarming her. Or straight up pissing her off.

 _“Alright.”_ She walked away, and Jack focused his attention on Jackie again.

Her mother had been right, though. There was no point in hoping for something that wasn't coming.

Jackie slept soundly in Jack's arms. She was settling down better due to her mother's magical ability. He was glad she could sleep, at least. A little bit of sleep would do her some good, as well, maybe make her a little less cranky for the doctor. He put his hand over her little head, and caressed her hair, twisting it behind her ear. She had such soft, beautiful hair. She had such a cute button nose, too, and though it was obstructed by a cute pink plaster he couldn't help but love it, so much.

 _“Hey, babe. I got coffee.”_ Jackie's mother placed a warm cup of coffee in his hand and sat down next to him.

_“What have you got, hon?”_

_“Some kind of fruit drink.”_ She took a sip and rested her hand over her stomach, the way she did when she'd been pregnant with Jackie. It must have been comforting to her.

 _“Is it good?”_ He asked, a single tear slipping down his face.

_“It's alright. Fruity.”_

_“That's good. That's what you want from a fruit drink.”_ Jack took a sip of his coffee for the first time. Wow! Hot water.

 _“How's the coffee?”_ She quizzed, looming over him. 

_“It's hot water, hon. Hot water that's been boiled near a coffee bean.”_ Paranoia overcame Jack, prickling his shoulders. He attempted to shake it off with the thought she'd promised him of Jackie taking medicine, but it was already setting in to the muscles on his back.

_“It's probably some decent instant coffee, then. Give me a sip.”_

_“Get ready to be disappointed.”_ He said, passing the coffee over to her. 

She took a quick sip. _“That's not bad, Jack.”_

 _“I want my caffeine back, please.”_ He received the cup again, and he threw half of it down his throat. His phone buzzed in his pocket.

**hello sweet buns is my niece in hospital x**

Of course. Only Clef could text him at this time of night.

__in the er__  
**tell her uncle clef is coming x**  
__shes asleep__  
**honey you sound like you need caffeine x**  
__all they have is water boiled near a bean__  
**ill bring you some good coffee then x**  
__please do. im going to need some help when the doctors are with her im not equipped to cope.__  
**i will honey badger. clef is coming to the hospital x**

 _“Who are you texting?”_ Jackie's mother asked, sipping on her drink again.

 _“Clef.”_ He replied, taking a sip of his own drink and then cuddling Jackie.

**what coffee do you want x**  
__anything that will keep me awake__  
**alright sugarpants x**

He adjusted Jackie on his chest and took the last swig of his coffee, slamming it down on the small table besides them.

 _“Babe, you want another coffee?”_ Jackie's mother asked.

 _“No, Clef is bringing me one.”_ Jack assured, the effects of paranoia, real paranoia, setting in on his spine.

 _“Oh, Clef is going to bring you real coffee, hm?”_ She teased.

_“Yeah. He is.”_

**i got you death coffee x**  
__thanks clef__  
**im coming my sweet prince x**

 _“Jack.”_ She caught his attention. _“I want you to know I didn't mean to-”_

 _“Let's not talk about that now. Alright?”_ Jack shunned her, having only just repressed his tears.

_“But Jack, I don't want you to think that-”_

_“Excuse me, the Doctor is ready to see you.”_ A nurse interrupted, ushering them up. 

Jackie's mother flicked her wrist inconspicuously, though Jack could notice, and after a few moments, Jackie woke up, looking confused and disorientated. 

_“Heya, Jackie.”_ Jack whispered to her. _“You're in the hospital. You're with your mama and your daddy and your Uncle Clef is coming soon.”_

Jackie rubbed her eyes and fiddled with her legs nervously. _“Daddy?”_

_“Yeah, babygirl?”_

Jackie yawned before she was able to talk again. _“Still hurt.”_

_“I know you are. That's why mama and daddy decided it might be best to bring you here, so a doctor could see you.”_

_“Mama?”_

_“Mama's over there, Jackie.”_ Jack pointed to the woman walking just in front of them, quietly talking with the nurse. _“You don't need to worry, because mama and daddy got you, and you're gonna be safe.”_

 _“Daddy.”_ She mumbled and tried to cuddle Jack, though they had reached the examination room and he'd been instructed to put her down. He held her hand and quickly squeezed it twice instead, something he'd taught her meant love. He wasn't quite sure if she understood that, but signalling that to her made him feel better about putting her down mid-cuddle. She didn't let go of what she could grasp of his hand, and kept a solid grip on it.

 _“So, this is Jackie?”_ The doctor asked, looking around her. 

Jack nodded, a hotness growing at the top of his throat. _“She's got severe tummy pains, and she won't eat.”_

_“What's with the face plasters?”_

_“She has autism, she scratches her face quite often due to sensory issues.”_ Jackie's mother was taking control of this, again. God, he was glad.

_“How is she with touch?”_

_“She's fine, she can get quite angry with new people, though...”_ Jack nodded. He knew Jackie better than anyone.

 _“So, she hasn't eaten much in how long?”_ The doctor was so... inquisitive!

 _“Well, she doesn't eat much anyway. But she woke up this morning and refused to eat. She just... wouldn't. And I thought, oh, that's fine, she'll get hungry and eat later, but every time I offered her food she refused. And then she started bawling.”_ Jack was honest with the doctor, though he still felt a heat in his throat, as if he was lying. 

_“And her tummy hurts a lot?”_

_“Yes. She's been complaining about it all afternoon. She only cries this way when she's in a lot of pain, and she started tearing her hair out.”_

_“Jackie, can you describe where the pain is?”_ The doctor asked. Jackie coughed. _“Could you maybe point?”_

Jackie pointed to the bottom of her stomach. _“There.”_

_“Can I touch?”_

_“No touch!”_ Jackie snapped.

 _“I'm sorry, she's in a really bad mood today, for obvious reasons...”_ Jack apologised for his daughter, knowing Jackie really didn't mean any malice.

 _“That's fine, that's fine. Can you poke that area for me?”_ The doctor motioned from him to Jackie.

Jack held his hand fairly clearly in front of Jackie for a moment, giving her a chance to pull it away if she wanted to, and then poked it. He tried to be as light as possible, but she cried after he removed his finger. Those same cries that made him want to cry, and melted his heart.

 _“Well, there's a fair chance this could be appendicitis.”_ The doctor nodded, gathering something from his filing cabinet.

 _“She, she'd have to have surgery!”_ Jack's voice scuffled to a high streak of fear.

 _“That is correct. Jackie, does your whole tummy hurt, or just that part?”_ The doctor asked, biro in hand.

 _“Big hurt.”_ She mumbled.

 _“It hurts a lot, or is it the whole thing?”_ Jack asked, as the doctor looked confused.

_“Whole.”_

_“It could be possible her appendix has burst if that's the case, which means we would have to operate soon to prevent infection.”_ The doctor spoke so clearly that Jack couldn't misconstrued his words as something less awful than the thought of surgery on his baby girl.

Some kind of feeling washed over Jack in that moment. Surgery, his baby Jackie. Maybe this was just 49's toll on him, after watching it butcher the bodies of so many. He knew they weren't the same. He knew that. But it wasn't something he was able to separate.

_“I'm going to have to have consent to put her in for the operation.”_

Jackie's mother took over again, signing a document while Jack pulled Jackie down off the table to hold her. He swayed her from side to side, held her tiny hand with three of his fingers and his thumb. Jackie's mother pulled on the back of his collar and he stood up, holding Jackie very tight and not letting her slip. 

Clef was waiting outside, with a bag full of things and a few cups of coffee. 

_“Hey, Clef.”_ Jackie's mother crooned, edging his robot mask with the tips of her fingers. He purred from beneath it and blew a kiss, which she pretended to catch and throw behind her shoulder.

 _“Hiya, cutie. And hello, my sweet prince Bright.”_ Clef edged towards him, waving the coffee in front of him. _“And my little Jackie! How are you?”_

 _“She's having her appendix removed, Clef. I don't think she's okay.”_ Jack shook his head.

 _“Well, I brought hospital essentials for my little Baby Bright.”_ Clef crooned, smiling at Jackie.

 _“Yeah? What'd you bring, Clef?”_ Jackie's mother knocked her head against the side of Clef's, eliciting a smirk.

 _“I'll go through it with you later. How are you doing, baby boy?”_ He motioned towards Jack. _“Give her to her mom, I'll take you outside, come on.”_

Jackie's mother took Jackie off him, and Clef lead him outside by the hand, then giving him the coffee.

 _“You alright, honey?”_

_“Yeah, Clef.”_ Jack leant against the white wall, tracing one of his fingers against the tiles. Clef stood in front of him, towering over him.

 _“How'd you cope with it all day?”_ Clef pouted.

 _“I mean, I'm fucking terrified.”_ Jack chuckled. _“I could not possibly be worse, oh god...”_

_“You're gonna be fine, sugarbird. These guys are trained professionals in their field. It's not like us, where we just study monsters and drink coffee. The surgeon has probably done a thousand, two thousand appendectomies in the past.”_

_“But she's so small, Clef!”_

Clef noticed his friend was close to tears, and put a hand on his shoulder. _“Yeah? Well, Honeyflower, I've seen medical school. This surgeon has done worse. Probably done it on a... damn baby!”_

_“Yeah, I just... I'm fucking... I need to look after her and I don't feel like I am.”_ Jack lamented, rubbing his hand over where Jackie's head had been a few minutes prior.

_“What, are you going to check her appendix daily for a blockage? Jack, you can't do everything. But you're doing well.”_

Jack took a pause for a moment, while Clef sipped on his coffee. _“You're a good friend, Clef.”_

 _“Fuckdamn right I am, sugarbee!”_ Clef exclaimed, throwing his hands up.

_“I love you, Clef.”_

_“Love you too, babe. Come on, let's go in.”_

Clef lead him in and took him back to where they'd been before. He noticed Jackie's mother down the hallway, and Jack ran down to get to her.

 _“Hey, hon. What are we doing, where are we going?”_ Jack babbled, trying to grasp at Jackie's hair to stroke it.

 _“They're taking us down to the surgery waiting room, babe.”_ She indirectly held Jackie out, as if to give him that reassurance she was still there.

 _“I'm scared.”_ Jack played with the little baby hairs behind his daughter's ear.

_“I know you are.”_

Clef caught up, edging between the two of them. _“Heya, lovebirds. Where are we going?”_

 _“Waiting room.”_ Jackie's mother replied quickly, voice not as playful as before. The prospect of surgery on her baby girl was scary to her, too.

 _“How long will we be in there for, babes?”_ Clef asked Jackie's mother. _“Cause I've gotta plan a McDonalds trip for all of us.”_

_“Jackie won't be discharged for a week. They're doing open surgery.”_

Jack felt his heart drop in his chest. _Open surgery._ He choked a little, and stopped walking. 

_“How come, hon?”_ He tried to keep a good composition. For Jackie, if not anyone, anything else.

_“Cause she's very small, and the surgeon doesn't feel comfortable doing a keyhole surgery with someone so little.”_

_“Well, she is small.”_ Jack said, and Clef began to usher him forwards again. 

_“Jack. Stop freaking out.”_ Jackie's mother's voice took on an annoyed tone and he knew to shut up. She still held Jackie in her arms, as if she held a power that Jack couldn't.

 _“Not freaking out, hon. I'm just worried.”_ Jack spoke clearly, tears threatening his voice again.

_“I know you are, Jack. But I know you, and I know you can power through it. Alright?”_

They sat down in the waiting area, these chairs blue instead. Clef sat on the arm of the chair and Jack sat next to him. The room was relatively quiet, too, and Jackie didn't have much of a problem being there. It seemed everyone hear, though there were few people, were all afraid. So, they all stayed silent. Jackie swapped hands of course, because Jackie's mother knew it would calm Jack down if he had her there, knew she was breathing. 

Of course, he'd never considered her own fear. But she had rational thoughts, too. Jack really fucking didn't, as much as it saddened her to say that. She knew they were both immortals, her immortality woven in to her blood and his created, and their child would be stronger, live longer. She'd always wanted to bestow immortality upon little Jackie, but it was a hefty choice to make. Not many people, especially those that were free, were immortal. Jackie had to make that choice on her own. Finding Jack and being able to fall in love with him had been somewhat of a blessing for her. She'd watched her last lover die of old age in her arms, wrinkled and disheveled, while she was still young and beautiful, looking the same as the day they had met. Two hundred years ago, that was, and she vowed she would never love anyone like that again. 

Though, maybe Jackie was immortal. Maybe she'd been born that way. Hopefully. But not everyone wanted immortality; Jack certainly didn't. Maybe now that he had some people to love, a family, he'd feel a little better about it, but he'd expressed hatred for the concept ever since they'd met and broken the silence of the secret with each other. 'I can't love you, because I'll live forever,' 'Darling, I can't die either.' But he was going to have to learn the hard way that you lost those you loved. He was only a new immortal, and death had not yet greeted him so many times they were on a first name basis.

She'd been reluctant to have a baby, as well. Giving a child this strenuous existence where those she loves will die, or she will die with her parents in front of her, looking the same way they always have? It was barbaric! Death was an odd concept to her, but something she was friendly with. Something an immortal like her, alive for hundreds and hundreds of years, and many others forgotten, had to know like the back of her hand.

But she knew that after all she'd seen, she wouldn't let Jackie die. She'd manipulate the surgeon's hand if she had to. She wouldn't let another child die.

Jack, on the other hand, focused on the little girl in his arms. 

He was worried for her, that thought imprinted on his head, almost. But he was planning ways to cheer her up after her operation. 

He was going to take two weeks off work, for a start. He felt like that was a good place. Good time to recover, come home and then know she was safe with her daddy. But during those weeks, he was going to do a few things. He was going to read her stories, stay with her constantly. He was going to sing her favourite songs, maybe strum a tune to go with them. And he was going to keep those flash cards so far away from her. Maybe he'd bring it up in conversation with her, but he was never going to show them to her.

So many fun activities swirled around in his head! He could play with her, they could make things together, they could just cuddle up and stay there, he could make her cookies, they could have midnight feasts, so many things.

He was worried, of course, that he wouldn't be able to stay with his baby at night, and that she'd be here on her own, without someone she loved to look after her. She was little, though. It's not like she was older, she was very small, and she needed her mama and daddy there. He vowed to stay there for her, no matter what it took. He'd sleep on a chair if he had to. 

He adjusted her in his arms to sit differently, in a way that should have been more comfortable for her. She didn't object, so he assumed he was doing it right. 

Jackie looked tired and sick, barely able to keep her tiny eyes open. She had that little snotty face, too, the one she had when her nose was running and she was feeling sorry for herself. She had a bad temperature, an awful one, in fact. He pulled her hair out of her face and scooped it back, tying what had escaped in to the bobble that held the tiny mass of hair back. There was still that tiny lump of baby hair behind her ear, but she probably wouldn't let him stroke it in this state.

 _“Daddy.”_ Her words surprised him, he didn't expect her to speak at a time like this. Of course, her voice was small compared to what it usually was, but it was a start.

_“Yes, Jackie?”_

_“Songs?”_ Her voice was inquisitive.

 _“You want some songs?”_ He began to pull a small music player and some earbuds out his pocket, slipping one in to Jackie's ear. 

She motioned for him to put one in to his own. He did so, and he plugged the earbuds in to the music player and gave it to her so she could choose a song. She chose one of her favourites, of course. It was her favourite song, she loved to sing to it, or at least try to, and she loved to listen to it with him.  
He didn't disturb her like he usually would and encourage her to dance, he simply let her listen and fall in to him. His own foot tapped out the rhythm in his shoe.

They simply waited in silence, other than Jackie, who Jack returned the earbud he'd borrowed to. Maybe this was better. Night and rain shone out the window they looked out of, their reflections echoing across the room and back to them. Jack couldn't help but notice that Clef's reflection went to his robot head and reflected back infinitely. Maybe he should look at his mask the next time he played poker with him.

He planted a kiss on Jackie's head and Clef passed a box of coffee to him, the cold type you get in the store. He noticed Jackie was blowing her cheeks up again, a sign she wasn't feeling too good, but it wasn't something he could stop, wasn't something he could control. No, he just had to sit and deal with it, maybe hold her hand, or just do something to let her know how loved she was by everyone in her family. It was all he knew how to do. It was all he really could do.

It was deathly quiet between the three of them, other than the occasional sip, clack of heels on the floor, or shift of clothing. Uncomfortable breaths. The hum of music was barely audible. But there were no vocalisations, there was no speech, no words of comfort exchanged between anyone there. Jack felt alone and he didn't have the courage to talk, he didn't hold the courage to truly comfort Jackie, or call someone else there to help them cope. 

He felt powerless, and the feeling overcame him, washed over him and drained all the power he had. He couldn't control what was happening with Jackie, couldn't control the way her surgery was doing to happen, he couldn't control her recovery, he couldn't control the complications, god, he couldn't do anything but sit and watch.

Hell, he wasn't even sure if she knew what was going on, and she was the one having the fucking operation! Surely, she of all people should have known what was happening, but she didn't look like she did, she still seemed so calm, and it made him doubt whether the girl even knew what she was doing. It was going to be hell on Earth with the anaesthetist, he knew that now.

That powerlessness made him hold Jackie a little tighter, as if the only power he had was to protect her now before she was placed in to the hands of the doctors later. 

_“Do you know when they're going to start the surgery?”_ Jack asked in a hushed voice. 

Jackie's mother leant in closer. _“They told me they would start as soon as possible.”_

_“So there isn't even going to be much time to prepare her? Hon, she doesn't even know what's going on, is this a good idea?”_

_“We don't have a choice, Jack. If it's burst then she's going to get peritonitis and that can be fatal, we can't just postpone it to explain what's going on. We're just going to have to hope for the best.”_

_“She's gonna fucking hate us...”_ Jack mumbled.

_“She won't when she understands why we've done this, Jack. I can promise you that.”_

_“She won't understand, hon!”_ Jack exclaimed.

 _“She will. Maybe it'll take some time, but she will.”_ Jackie's mother assured.

She leant back in her seat and drank the last of the fruit juice she had.

 _“Clef, get me two weeks off, will you?”_ Jack turned to his left and looked up to Clef, sat on the arm of his chair.

 _“Of course, baby boy.”_ Clef nodded.

_“She's going to be here for a week, and I'll look after her when she's discharged.”_

_“We've got a business trip in... three weeks. You're fine.”_

_“Is that the Paris one?”_ Jack inquired.

 _“Yeah.”_ Clef answered. Both their voices were monotone, distracted by other thoughts and feelings.

 _“I'll be very far away...”_ Jack muttered.

 _“It's only a few days.”_ Clef reassured, putting a hand on Jack's shoulder. _“And she's got her mama and her mom and whatever she calls her other dad, she'll be taken good care of, so don't you-”_

 _“Miss Jackie Bright to see the anaesthetist?”_ A nurse called. Jack felt a surge of horror tear his lungs apart, starting to find difficulty breathing. Jackie's mother put her hand on his, and she motioned him to stand up, and took him to the nurse, with Jackie nested in his arm. She held on like a little koala and nestled in to his chest.

 _“Good evening, Mr and Mrs Bright.”_ The nurse said. _“Which one of you is Jackie?”_ He pointed his biro to each of them. 

Jack pointed at Jackie.

_“Ah, the beautiful young lady in the middle! How are you feeling?”_

_“She's got headphones in, to keep her calm. But I assume she feels sick and angry.”_

_“Sick and angry, huh? Poor girl.”_

_“You probably need me to turn her music off, should I take them out?”_ Jack asked, holding his baby close to him.

 _“You can talk for her. The questions that will be asked aren't ones she'll really know the answer to. It says on her file she has autism, as well, so if you need the music to keep her calm, then go ahead. They'll have to come out later, but for now it's fine.”_ He had a friendly grin that calmed Jack. 

_“What do we do now?”_ Jackie's mother asked, twiddling her fingers.

 _“Well, you can follow me.”_ The nurse began to walk down the hallway, and Jack followed him, as well as Jackie's mother. 

God, he was glad Jackie was allowed to keep her music. That would keep her a lot calmer in the process.

 _“Are you two holding up well tonight?”_ He asked.

 _“God no.”_ Jackie's mother said, rolling her eyes. _“I'd rather she be in bed asleep right now. Hell, I want to go to bed.”_

_“And what about you, Mr. Bright?”_

Mr. Bright? That felt so weird in his head. He was always Dr. Bright at work. Dr. Bright this and Dr. Bright that, just 'Bright' if they were his superior. But never Mr. Bright. He felt respected.

_“I wasn't going to sleep anyway, I get very worried about Jackie.”_

_“That's understandable. I get worried about my own son from time to time.”_ The nurse opened a door to a small white room. A blonde woman sat inside on a white chair. She wore glasses, and she looked fairly well rested and adjusted, which Jack had some serious respect for, especially this time of night. He sat Jackie down and sat next to her. There was a bed behind them. Jack knew what was going to happen here.

 _“Good evening, Mr. Bright, I'm going to ask a few questions about your daughter and medical history.”_ She said. He looked to his side to see Jackie's mother hadn't entered the room. Maybe she had been held back? Maybe she couldn't cope, and she had to leave? _“I understand you might be tired, but I'm going to need your full attention.”_ The anaesthetist was quite cold in tone, but Jack understood why.

_“Of course.”_

_“Does Jackie have any allergies or intolerances?”_ The anaesthetist began seemingly prescribed questions.

 _“No, not that we're aware of.”_ Jack shook his head, rocking Jackie up and down. She looked around, looking anxious and shifty.

_“Has she ever had general anaesthetic before?”_

_“No. I mean, her mother was on pain medication when she was born, but I'm not sure if that counts.”_

_“Have you or your partner ever had anaesthetic before?”_

_“I had my tonsils out when I was little. I was fine with the anaesthetic.”_ Jack winced at his lie; this body might have reacted badly. He had no tonsils... in his old body. This one didn't to match. This body had been the one to father Jackie. It might as well be allergic.

_“And your partner?”_

_“I don't think she has, no.”_ Jack was honest this time, but he was still feeling the heat in his throat.

_“Is Jackie on any medication?”_

_“I gave her some calpol around.... six, seven hours ago now?”_ Jack had scrambled his brain trying to remember the exact time.

 _“Alright. Any medication for anything else?”_ The anaesthetist asked, tilting her head.

_“No, she's not.”_

_“She's autistic, yes? What would be worse for her, having the anaesthetic through a cannula, or inhaling it through a mask?”_

_“Mask, I think. She'll hate both, but the cannula would be much worse for her.”_ Jack shook his head slowly, looking down at the little girl in his arms. She looked so tired.

_“Well, we'll put her in for the mask and see what happens. We can switch methods if we need to.”_

_“Can I stay with her while you're doing this? Not the operation, but I want to be there while she's... You know, give her a hug, tell her that she's fine and daddy's going to be there for her when she wakes up.”_

_“Of course, of course. You can be there to calm her down.”_ The anaesthetist assured, nodding her head.

 _“Can I be there when she wakes up?”_ Jack's chest pulled in, anxiety now prickling the front of his chest.

 _“When the surgery is finished, we can call for you as soon as she is stable.”_ The anaesthetist nodded quickly.

_“Are they going to start now?”_

_“Well, we need a hospital gown put on her first, and then we can get her laid down and we can get the mask on her.”_ Her voice had changed in tone, becoming higher. 

Jackie laid slumped against him. She blinked very slowly. He could tell she was exhausted, but she was trying so hard to stay awake.

 _“Can I have a moment with her on my own?”_

_“You can, yes.”_

She left the room, and Jack turned Jackie to face him, and took her headphones out. Her head kept straying in different directions, and Jack took a deep breath in. The breath choked him a little on the way out.

_“Are you listening, Jackie?”_

She nodded.

_“Well, what's going to happen, is they're going to put a mask on you. It's like the ones you see in hospital movies, Jackie.”_

_“Mask.”_ She repeated slowly.

 _“Yes, mask! And then, you're going to feel dizzy. Daddy's going to be here, though. You're going to fall asleep, and daddy will be right, right next to you, and then you're going to wake up, and you're going to feel sore, and you might feel a little confused too. Daddy will be there when you wake up too, he hopes.”_ There was an audible croak in his voice.

_“Daddy cry?”_

_“Daddy's not going to cry. He's very brave.”_

_“Daddy handsome.”_ She stated, matter of fact-ly, with her hands on her hips.

_“You're right. Daddy is very handsome.”_

There was a pause between them, as if Jackie couldn't think of what to reply to him.

 _“I love daddy. Love a lot.”_

Jack couldn't really think of what to say. She'd never spoken like that before. _“I love you too, Jackie. I love you a lot.”_

 _“My daddy.”_ She pointed to her chest, furrowing her brow and nodding her head. Jack laughed, and smiled.

 _“My Jackie.”_ He leant down and hugged her, petting her back. _“You're such a brave little girl.”_

Jackie felt relieved by this hug, though she still wasn't sure what was going on. Her daddy seemed to know, and she trusted him to be able to know what good things and bad things were.

When he was still hugging her, the anaesthetist came back in to the room with various materials; a machine and a hospital gown.

Jack's first task was going to be to wrangle Jackie in to the gown. Hmph. That might prove difficult, since there was an unfamiliar person in the room.

_“If you could put this on her? I can turn my back if she's shy.”_

_“You'd have to leave, she's not good with that at all. She hates it when new people are around for dressing.”_

She left again, and Jack began the task of getting Jackie dressed.  _“Come on, babygirl, can you do it yourself? I'll help you tie the back.”_ He reasoned, mostly because he could tell she was mildly uncomfortable. He turned his back.

He was still terrified, and he felt so powerless still. Just so powerless. A feeling of guilt enveloped him again; why couldn't he have taken her to the hospital earlier? She might have been able to have a different procedure, or her appendix might not have burst already, and she wouldn't get peritonitis. Sure, bathtime was fun, but they could have been done with the procedure by now and he could have been gently singing to her and he could have been less stressed. But, no. He didn't take Jackie being covered in vomit as a warning or a symptom. Just a bug. _Just a damned bug!_ Why hadn't he looked out for her more? Appendicitis was an infection that developed over several weeks, surely he would have noticed the symptoms? Surely he would have noticed them? Whatever, he hadn't, and his daughter was in the hospital getting a piece of her removed because otherwise it would kill her and he'd known none the damn wiser! He felt like a damn failure, and that spread through him too. He tore at one of his nails with his teeth and ripped a thick white chunk off the top, chewing on it to try and calm his nerves.

 _“Are you done yet, Jackie?”_ He asked. 

_“Done.”_ She nodded.

_“You're very brave, did you know that?”_

_“Yes!”_ Jackie turned around, and Jack was suddenly glad this wasn't entirely backless.  
He buttoned up the back, and had Jackie sit down on the bed.

 _“You're going to do really well, Jackie.”_ Jack soothed, petting her hand. Midway through his sentence, the anaesthetist popped her head in.

_“Done?”_

_“Just finished.”_ Jack felt the croak build in his voice once more.

_“That's good. Can you get Jackie laid in the bed besides you, please?”_

_“Yes, I indeed can.”_ Jack picked Jackie up, and gave her a quick cuddle and a kiss before he put her in to the bed. She looked so confused. He felt awful. _“Hey, Jackie, I love you, okay?”_

She nodded. She must have been too confused to reply to him. She was shaking, and Jack didn't know why. Was she scared? Was she cold? He wasn't sure, and he couldn't fix the problem.

 _“Right, I'm going to start by putting the mask on.”_

The anaesthetist slipped the mask on to Jackie, who most definitely hated the thing, eyes wide and angry and betrayed, confused. She started clawing at it to get it off, and when Jack held her hands down her eyes welled with tears, as if to say to him 'I trusted you.' 

This was the best thing to do.

Trying to separate her from the horror in front of her he pulled her in to a hug, and she pushed him away and he covered her eyes, and he leant in to whisper.

_“You see nothing. I love you.”_

She still fumbled and cried, and Jack held her, removing his hand to see her eyes flick back and close and he felt her go floppy in his arms, releasing all tension, and he held his hands on her back in the hopes of waking her, up, and she felt dead, god, god, what if she was dead, what if they'd put too much in and killed her, what if she was never going to wake up or she was going to have an allergic reaction and die? His whole body tensed up in sheer fear, the hairs on his back and arms standing up on end. His vision blurred and his eyes tensed. A look from the anaesthetist forced him to lower her down and gently on to the bed. 

The rain hitting down on the building, which he'd become so accustomed to, stopped.  
He felt something run down his face, down the curves and contours and through his stubble. A tear. It glinted in the clinical light before losing it's form on his shirt.

 _“She's in good hands, Mr. Bright. There's no need to worry. No need at all.”_ She shook her head.

 _“O, Of course. I know she's in good hands.”_ He said, but he was shaking. Despite the constant thought that these people went through medical school and they had the title of 'doctor', like he did at work, a tiny voice in his head screamed at him for letting this happen to her.

He left the room, and both Clef and Jackie's mother were waiting outside for him. Jackie's mother looked anxious, though she regained control of her body and what it did. Clef stared at him, deadpan, though his emotions were always hard to decipher because of his robot mask. Blood dripped from Jack's bitten nail on to the floor and he lifted it up to suck on it before Clef picked him up bridal style and took him to the waiting area again. He ripped the thumb from his mouth and shook it off, though blood still poured from it, painting the edges of his nail an awful shade of blood and plasma mixed together. 

He couldn't help but noticed how much Clef smelled like cherry chapstick. It seemed to be coming from his neck. Well, he did use a lubricant to stop the black bodysuit he wore beneath everything to stop chafing him, but did he seriously coat himself in cherry chapstick every morning? Did Clef have that patience?

The three of them sat on the chairs this time, and Clef didn't sit on the arm rest. Even Clef was twiddling his fingers. There was silence between the three of them, but Clef held on to Jack's hand, as if to say to him that yes, Jackie was okay. 

Jackie's mother didn't really offer any words of comfort. He could understand, of course, she was stressed and worried herself, she didn't have to talk if she didn't want to.

 _“Hey, hon? I just wanted to say I love you.”_ Jack broke the silence because by some machination that broke through the cage of anxiety,he knew she needed it in that moment. She needed some reassurance, just like him.

 _“Love you too, Jack.”_ She whispered. 

Everything was still.

Jack was close to crying but he knew that Jackie was going to be fine, the odds of dying were unrealistic, and these people knew what they were doing. She was fine. He was fine. Everything was gonna be fine. Everyone was gonna be fine. Maybe she had peritonitis but she was going to be fine. She was going to be so fine. She was going to have a smooth recovery and a cool scar that she could tell so many stories about to her friends and foes. 'Do you really think you can fight me, Jackie?' 'I had an organ removed!'

Good times.

He kept telling himself these things over and over again as the woman he loved put her hand over his and played with it the way he had done with hers some time ago. That felt like a long time ago. 

Of course, he felt a heat in his throat, and he massaged it, trying his hardest to make it go away. He had to stay strong for Jackie and the woman he loved.

 _“Hey, Sugarbun?”_ Clef broke the silence again to tap Jack on he shoulder and hold his hand very tightly. _“You wanna go get some fresh air? You look like you need it. And before you ask, the operation takes about an hour, so we've got some free time before you can go in to see her.”_

 _“You wanna come, hon?”_ Jack asked, and the woman next to him sat stoic in her seat.

_“I'll wait here. You two fine boys go out and have a sit, maybe a chat.”_

_“Are you sure, hon? I'll stay with y-”_

_“I need to be on my own, Jack. You and Clef go out and have a little time to yourselves as well.”_ Her word felt so absolute, like he couldn't make a choice.

_“O-Of course.”_

_“Come on, sugarbird.”_ Clef grabbed Jack by the collar and dragged him down the corridor, sliding along the floor. Jackie's mother looked mostly unfazed, though Jack was pissed. Clef brought him outside in to the cold night air and pulled out a hip flask. Jack looked at him, annoyed. _“You want some?”_

 _“No, Clef, my appetite has completely disappeared.”_ Jack held his palm out to Clef to refuse.

_“Aw, how come?”_

_“I thought she was dead, Clef. When they put her under. She looked dead.”_ Jack shook the horrible image from his mind, but it had burned there. The sight lingered on everything he thought of.

_“Well, she isn't dead, so you can stop that worrying right now.”_

_“I couldn't see her breathing.”_

_“Bit of whisky will fix that, babe?”_ Clef sounded as if he'd raised an eyebrow.

_“You brought your whisky to the hospital, Clef?”_

_“Um... of course I did? I'm Alto Clef.”_ Clef enunciated, laughing, through he straightened up seeing Jack's confusion and disgust.

_“I have no clue how you can drink at a time like this.”_

_“What, 12am?”_ Clef coughed, words quick and rushed.

 _“Jackie is having an organ removed!”_ Jack snapped.

_“Pfft. Appendix isn't an organ.”_

_“It's a part of her!”_ Jack snapped once more.

_“You think she'll get to keep it, Jack? We could formaldehyde it and keep it in one of those disinfectant jars from the barber's.”_

_“That sounds so cool. We should ask.”_ Jack's anger had hushed, replaced with mild awe at the idea.

 _“I've always wanted to drink that stuff. It smells good.”_ Clef enthused.

_“Okay, but you shove pennies up your nose. I really don't think your life choices are healthy.”_

_“I did it for the vine, sugarpants.”_ Clef's voice drifted over the sub-zero air.

_“For your birthday, I'll mix vodka and blue kool-aid and put it in a disinfectant jar for you.”_

_“God, prince, you're the best gay lover but not quite a boot-wearing robot like me could ask for.”_ Clef proclaimed, flask lifted in appreciation.

 _“You're not a robot, Clef.”_ Jack teased. _“You are a cyborg.”_

 _“Terminator, but it's me! Party hard! I'll fuck your girlfriend!”_ Clef punched the air with a satisfying swish of his hand.

 _“Oh my god, Clef, you're drunk.”_ Jack came to a sudden realisation, jumping back slightly.

_“Yeah.”_

_“Is that why you were sat on the fucking arm rest?”_ Jack raised an eyebrow.

 _“Yeah...”_ Clef twiddled his fingers and took another sip of his whiskey through a bright pink straw. _“Is it obvious?”_

_“I mean, you're wearing a robot head, so they might just think you're wacky.”_

Clef took a long moment to think before talking again.

_“Honeybun, have you ever thought about neither of us actually exist? I mean, our official titles are Dr. Alto Clef and Dr. Jack Bright, right? And we got PhD's in theoretical physics and chemistry and went to college and university and did all that shit. But we aren't on any records as Dr. Alto Clef and Dr. Jack Bright. It's always Mr. Alto Clef and Mr. Jack Bright. But we are actually doctors and our official titles should be Dr. Alto Clef and Dr. Jack Bright, but because of the foundation both of those people cannot exist but we've already become insane and amoral and an identity crisis isn't something foundation doctors can deal with, so they have us legally changed to Mr. Alto Clef and Mr. Jack Bright even though we shouldn't be known under those terms. Isn't that weird?”_

_“You know, Clef, normal people smash their skulls when they're drunk. You just make me question my identity.”_ Jack sighed.

_“My pleasure, honeybear.”_

_“Clef!”_

_“What? I'm fucking good at fucking with people. It's the reality bending, babe.”_

_“I love you, Clef. You're such a good friend.”_

_“Damn, Jack, are you this harsh with everyone you fuck?”_ Clef chuckled, thinking himself clever.

 _“I only fucked you cause you were a little sad.”_ Jack pouted. He thought this was a joke, of course. He'd definitely remember if he had fucked Clef.

...Jack was wrong.

 _“Oh, did you?”_ Clef grew closer, growing a foreboding sense of wrongness in Jack's chest.

_“Mm, yeah.”_

Clef took another sip of his whisky through a straw to find out he'd drank all of it.

 _“They need to make these in bigger sizes.”_ Clef held up the disappointing hip flask and slid it back in to his belt.

 _“That's called a bottle. Ooh, they do those bags you can fill up with wine. I'll get you one of those.”_   

_“Aww, you're so cute.”_ Clef blew a kiss at Jack, eliciting a blush and a smile.

There was a pause between them. Clef had run out of whiskey, and conversation.

 _“Go on, honeyboo. Vent about your problems.”_ It was a tipsy Clef that broke the silence, bold enough to make his thoughts known.

_“I haven't been this stressed since her mother was pregnant.”_

_“Yeah, I can tell. I mean, at least you're not hospitalised, and I'm not there telling you to shut the fuck up about your problems and sleep.”_

_“So glad that's what you meant, Clef. Hits a lot less harder than 'could you shut your stupid fucking face about your stupid fucking bullshit problems that nobody but you give a fuck about because you're irrational and sleep otherwise I will stab you in the stomach and have the doctors induce your girlfriend so you will have something to cry about.'”_ Jack imitated, head swinging from side to side.

_“Shit, I said that?”_

_“Yup.”_ Jack nodded.

 _“And you're not paraphrasing?”_

_“I remember you saying that. It's one of my only clear memories of that time.”_ Jack folded his arms and stepped back a step.

_“I am so sorry, honey. God, yeah, you were so fucking doped up. They had you done up like a prostitute, and you started acting like it was the day of retribution. I know more about the shit you're guilty about than I do about my mother's life.”_

_“I think it was worse because I... I just wanted to see her. And she would come to visit me and I see her and get excited and she'd sit down with me and then I'd remember everything that had happened with me.”_ Jack lamented, his voice small and quiet.

Clef put a hand on Jack's shoulder. _“She brought it up, didn't she?”_

Jack nodded and looked off in to the darkness to the side of them. Cars and lights flashed in the distance. The wind blew through his hair, making easy work of it. 

_“I remembered everything I didn't blank out.”_

_“Damn, honey...”_

There was another silence; Jack just couldn't think of how to reply to Clef. 

_“Is there anything else? Anything at all?”_

_“How was your day, Clef?”_ Jack smiled a calm smile, a glint of giving up in his warm eyes.

_“Shitty, if I'm honest. Almost breached.”_

_“What was it?”_ Jack stood a little closer to Clef.

_“A fucking D-Class! There was a damn rebel group! We're a week in to this new set! They almost straight up let 173 out!”_

_“That's so... unoriginal. If you want to cause a breach, cause it with a skip we haven't chased back in to containment millions of times.”_

_“Exactly. That's what I said to them before I had them killed.”_ Clef raised a finger.

 _“Isn't that a little brutal?”_ Jack raised an eyebrow again.

_“I have a site to be managing, and over a thousand people work at my site, honeybee. Imagine if Jackie had been there. You'd want them dead then.”_

_“Suppose I would. I gotta look after her.”_

_“You got it.”_ Clef pulled a cigarette out of his coat pocket. Upon further inspection, Jack found it was a candy stick, painted to look like a cigarette. _“Want one, babe?”_

 _“No.”_ He refused Clef's offer again. 

Clef chewed the candy stick and tore at the delicate detailing from behind his mask. Jack sat down on a plastic bench, watching Clef pretend to have an aesthetic he most definitely didn't. He dragged the stick away from his mouth in jest, and blew out, the breath reverberating in his mask and producing an annoying sound.

His head pounding from the noise, he took a seat down next to Jack. No more words. Only nothing.

Clef thought about his recent experiences; whiskey;a painkiller; and cherry chapstick. That smell was so overpowering, and he was so glad he loved that smell, it was so sickly, so nice, he could always keep it there and admitting it, he would bathe in the fragrance they used for the damn lip balm. Probably tasted fucking disgusting, though.

The true nature of things that Clef wanted to eat were normally disgusting. Pennies, plastic wrap, lip balm fragrance... maybe he wanted to eat these things so he could subconsciously keep up his wacky image, and not get any less interesting for anyone that could be judging him. That's what he wanted; to be interesting. So nobody would ever let him fade in to normalcy. He had so many wacky schematics planned for everyone he met that sometimes he forgot himself.

Jack, on the other hand, was busy worrying about Jackie and taking himself through the procedure at hand so he could at least try and stay in sync with her. He was hoping she was having nice dreams when she was under; could you dream under general anaesthetic? Was it real sleep?

He didn't care if you could or not, really. He just hoped that maybe Jackie was happier somewhere else than grounded to a bed with knives stuck in her. Maybe she was cuddling up in her dream, or she was drawing, or she was at her birthday party. Hell, maybe she was thinking about what it would be like to be a nurse or a doctor, since she was in hospital. Her surroundings often influenced her dreams. He wanted her to have good dreams. The best dreams a father could hope for. And maybe he couldn't really control them, he just had to hope.

Hope was all Jack had at that point. 

Maybe they weren't the best doctors in the world, though the foundation controlled that, and not him, taking the best for it's own, but he hoped they were some good doctors. They'd have to be qualified. This same hospital delivered Jackie, surely the doctors hadn't changed much in only four and a half years? They were good doctors then.

Seeing Jackie for the first time was probably one of the better things he'd experienced in life. They had him doped up at the time, connected to a drip, but he was there for the woman he loved and he hugged her and held her hand and gave her all those words of encouragement that he was meant to as a new father. 

He had no clue why they had actually chosen the name Jackie, although he loved the name, he accepted it was a feminised spelling of his own name and probably wasn't the best thing to name a child. But the name had grown on her, and the others, and although it might have been a feeling to Jack at first, he really felt like he'd chosen the right name for her, and he felt proud of himself, almost. Hell yeah! He'd suggested a name and they had loved it so much that was what they went with. That did make him feel proud in a couple of ways, at least. 

Then, little Jackie came along. He remembered seeing her for the first time, and that absolute rush of emotion, and the need to protect his new baby, viewing her as small and cute and needing protection. Of course, he had to let the others hold her, as well, but he never really wanted to let go of his little baby girl. He just loved her too much; he couldn't really blame himself for that. It was his heart.

Jackie had been a pretty average sized baby, and she was a cute baby, but Jack thought she was the most beautiful baby in the world, especially when she started smiling. She had this adorable, sweet little smile with the cutest dimples that caused him to melt inside and he just couldn't take the cuteness, if such a thing existed. It was those dimples - they sent him off the edge! He loved her and her dimples so fucking much.

They'd taken her home a few days afterwards to her nursery, and then she slept, and she cried and ate, and she really didn't do much else. She was... fairly boring. But Jack would find himself coming in to her room to read to her when she was still awake despite the fact he knew she had no clue what he was on about. Absolutely none. But she loved her dad, he liked to think. She loved her dad to whatever she was capable of. She always wanted him to hold her and cuddle her, and she used to cry specifically for him. God, it was so cute.

Clef was chewing on another fake cigarette. This was the way he wanted the damn things to taste! Why couldn't they taste like this? The real things just tasted of cancer, cancer and sadness. 

Being drunk was just such a funny feeling. Clef wanted to laugh uncontrollably, and he wanted to scream and slap someone at the same time. So many wonderful feelings. Well, he could totally go and fucking slap someone right now. He could slap Jack. He fucking _could._ And Jack would be powerless to know whether the slap was coming or not. The foolish ignorance of man! 

Of course, he wasn't going to slap him. His daughter was having surgery, he didn't really deserve it.

 _“You think Jackie will want something nice when she wakes up?”_ Clef turned towards Jack and smiled.

 _“We probably couldn't bring McDonalds in to the ward, Clef.”_ Jack replied, in the middle of yawning.

 _“You know, honeybear, I need to go get myself more whisky, I'm gonna... head off.”_ Clef stretched out his arms, tired also impacting his voice.

_“For the love of god, Clef, don't drive-”_

_“No, I'm gonna walk to the liquor store. It's not a very long walk.”_

_“Clef, I'm not letting you walk to the liquor store on your own.”_

_“Are you gonna fucking stop me? Who's gonna fuck with me? I'm fucking Alto Clef!”_ Clef grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him close, suddenly looking aggressive and baring his teeth at Jack, visible through the small screen on his mouth. Jack's glasses lurched forwards over the tip of his nose, blurring his vision and causing him to panic, but he took three quick breaths in and out his mouth, sinking back in to the seat when Clef loosened his grip on him. He felt white hot grip marks on his shoulders, and they felt weak and loose as if they were about to fall apart like meat from a slow cooker.

Clef's temperament was always flimsy and it made him afraid of treading the wrong path, but he couldn't let Clef endanger himself. Not now, when he wore heeled boots and stumbled with force the way he did, when he wasn't in a well lit area, he would trip and fall and piss the wrong people off. 

But Jack wasn't Clef's father. He was Jackie's. He was not responsible for Clef. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, stood up to brush his forearms off, and went inside the hospital again. 

He felt lost. He turned back to see Clef walking off in to the distance. Of course. He was going to fucking die out there. But he didn't want to think about that. Mindlessly he began to search for Jackie's mother who was hopefully still where they had been waiting, but when he got there, she was gone. He occupied the empty space next to where she had been sat and awaited eagerly for her to return, so they could talk. He wanted to talk with her. Maybe give her some reassurance. She deserved that. He just wanted to burrow in to her, or her in to him if she needed to, and make her feel better. 

_“Excuse me, sir, but visitation for this ward is off limits for tonight.”_ The voice of a nurse shook him and he flicked his head up. 

_“But... but my daughter, she's having an appendectomy.”_ He stumbled, shocked by her presence.

_“You're in the wrong place.”_

_“Oh. I've lost my girlfriend.”_ Jack admitted, a flush growing on his cheeks.

_“Is it an emergency surgery?”_

_“I think so.”_

_“Then it's that way.”_ The nurse pointed in the opposite direction with her pen. _“Aye, it's late, I won't blame you.”_

 _“It all looks the same.”_ He reasoned, but he started walking quickly in the other direction anyway. Eventually, he found her, nose deep in a book. She looked intently at it, her glasses stopping her from becoming a part of the book itself. 

Jack sat next to her and tapped his feet on the red floor, not really to gain her attention but to fiddle. He didn't want to piss her off more than it already seemed he had.

_“I see you're back.”_

_“Yeah. And I wanted to tell you that, that-”_

_“No, Jack, I'm not mad. Don't say sorry.”_ She sighed.

 _“But you look mad.”_ He mumbled. Fumbling for his wallet with one of the copies of Jackie's ultrasound pictures in it, he stared at the photo and gained himself some confidence. _“I just wanted to tell you that I love you an awful lot.”_

She stayed silent for a moment, and his heart dropped in his chest.

 _“I love you too, babe.”_ She smiled, calm and warm.

Their hands touched for a moment before settling down on each other, her hand over his. It felt peaceful, and Jack felt sleepy, though he knew he could hold himself together for Jackie. 

_“Where's Clef?”_ She asked. Her voice was gliding like silk again, and a hint of curiosity haunted the tail of her voice.

_“Went to go get more whiskey.”_

_“I took a sip of that to calm my nerves. Wretched drink. It made my throat tense up.”_ She shook her head.

_“He offered me some, too. Glad I didn't take it.”_

_“Never trust anything Clef wants to feed to you!”_ She sang, eliciting a laugh from him. He rested his head on her shoulder and she smiled. _“You are such a fucking bottom, Jack.”_

_“I love you too.”_

_“You're so cute.”_

_“I'm worried about Clef. I mean, he's drunk, and he's-”_

_“He'll be fine. The man's got an MTF looking after him at all times.”_

_“He's so aggressive, hon.”_

_“That's called testosterone, my love.”_ She allowed him to hold on to her and she petted and stroked him. She'd taken up her role as the strong lover he always knew her as, and knew she could be. _“You don't let it control you.”_

_“I just get worried. I get very worried.”_

_“You do about everyone, babe. It's just who you are.”_

_“Is it okay to be like that?”_

_“I mean, you should worry about yourself. But I think your heart is much too big for that.”_ She ruffled his hair and he shut his eyes against her shoulder.

_“You're so sentimental, hon.”_

_“Aw, thank you, babe, you're adorable. And I love you.”_ She smiled, holding his hand.

 _“I love you too! I love you a lot.”_ He proclaimed, though quiet.

There was a silence between them. Jack felt the white marks on his shoulders receding, and they were gradually building strength and becoming themselves again. They didn't feel like they were about to fall apart with the gentlest touch anymore, but they still didn't feel like they could support his arms. 

Did Clef have to go straight for his shoulders? He could have gone for the arms. He should have gone for the arms. It was much more humane. 

The way that Clef's fingers had shook when they gripped his shoulders made him feel so fucking scared, though. Terrified, stuck in his spot, ready to just fucking die! He wished that Jackie's mother could have been there to comfort him, she could have pushed Clef off by the chest as he hissed and held him by the throat until Jack felt safe again. She could have cuddled him and walked him back to their spot; she would never have gotten lost or confused. She probably could have made that nurse think it was the right ward. He knew she could have. She probably wouldn't have, though, she wanted to stay with Jackie. Just like he did.

His empathy was severely lacking, and he knew it was, but he had a plethora of problems that plagued him constantly. It's not like he had time for much else than work and Jackie. Those were the two things he had to care about, really, and 12 hour work days that started at 5am so he could come home for Jackie's dinner and spend time with her had taken it's toll on him more than he wanted to admit. 

Sure, he'd tried to spend as much time as he could with Jackie's mother before she was born, because he knew he'd have to shift his work days and bargain for lesser shifts, but that was always at night when he wasn't off work or playing sick. But he was protecting the world. Him and Clef were both pillars in a coliseum that held the world up from the damnation that laid below, if he really thought about it.

But he'd lost so much to the foundation. So damn much. He felt chained to it, almost; he was unable to ever leave or they'd contain him. That was the deal for immortality. He was stuck to the foundation, like he owed it something that had never existed. He wanted to die, but he couldn't. So he had to make do, he found Jackie's mother, and he found others to love him. 

He sometimes wished that the only uncontained immortal woman he could find wasn't a sadistic monster in bed and would at least let him take over for one night, but she was good, she was incredibly loving, and he loved her, and he was glad they had a daughter together. Very, very glad. Because she made him feel whole again and Jackie had made him feel complete. And he knew they would never die, just like him. That's what she had told him, she told him he didn't have to worry.

He felt like falling asleep, ready to take a long nap or something else that could help him rest his mind. Clef's aggression had made him feel weightless and unearthly, almost as if he didn't quite exist, and he wanted to make use of that. Time passed, his eyes flickered, he moved and tapped his feet, and everything seemed to be going so fast. Was he asleep? Awake? Skipping through time?

He jerked awake and rubbed his eyes; he'd been asleep alright. 

_“Hey, hon.”_ He mumbled, bright lights burning his eyes.

 _“Morning.”_ She smiled.

_“Is it 7 already?”_

_“No, it's 12am. You slept for a good 20 minutes.”_

_“Is Jackie's operation over yet?”_ He mumbled again.

 _“I'd say it'll end soon, yes. It's been about an hour, and how much appendix can one little girl have?”_ She smiled.

_“I love you, hon.”_

She smiled, and brushed him off her shoulder. White specks flew around his vision, and she very gently flicked over a page. She was so pretty! So pretty.

 _“Hon.”_ He nudged her head.

_“Yeah, babe?”_

_“You're pretty.”_ He whined, voice still quiet and tired.

_“Aw, you're being cute.”_

_“You're beautiful, hon. Really, really beautiful, and I love you a lot.”_

_“You're such a sweetheart when you're tired.”_

_“I hadn't slept with you in a while. I'm always tired.”_

_“Well, when we go home, I'll have to treat you to something nice.”_

_“Actually, I'll be staying with her until she's out.”_

_“Then I'll have to treat you when you're out. What would you want?”_

_“A night of control.”_ He spurted, not thinking about what he was saying. 

She paused for a moment.

 _“Hmph.”_ Her eyes flashed towards him in disbelief, and a hint of malice flashed in them.

 _“Hon... please...”_ Jack begged, grasping her hand and stroking it.

_“...Fine.”_

Oh, thank the lord.

_“But-”_

_“No terms and conditions! I'll go very gentle and give you kisses and cuddles afterwards.”_

_“You want control, and you just want kisses? You could do anything!”_

_“My night.”_ He asserted, tapping his foot on the floor with harshness.

_“This is-”_

_“I'll give you Gatorade after, or, or we could, we could go and get some fast food and cuddle in the car together while eating it.”_ There was a pause in which her face softened with love.

 _“You are so cute!”_ She exclaimed, pulling him close and squishing him. 

_“Hon, you're being-”_ She shushed him with a kiss. _“I-I love you too.”_

After another hug, she set him free and returned to her book.

 _“Are the others coming, hon?”_

_“They're busy, my love. They're counting on you to look after her, because they know that you know her better than anyone.”_

Jack nodded in affirmation. He did know his Jackie better than anyone did. He'd been there for her since the day she was born, never stopping. Always waking himself up on routine to check in on her. Always having extra space in his bed. Learning how to make pancakes so she had something fluffy to pick at. Midnight band-aid runs.   
He could read her. Not only because she could be incredibly predictable at times, but because he needed to. He learnt how to speak Jackie so that when she couldn't say another word she would have someone to give her the kindness she needed. Sure, translation took a while sometimes, but he wouldn't change her for the world.

 _“I have a question.”_ He stated, voice still dragging in his exhaustion, but more alert now.

_“And what's that, babe?”_

_“When you were pregnant, were you scared?”_

_“No. I had two people looking after me, and then I had you catering to my every want. It was funny to test your patience when I just didn't feel like being nice to you, but I really did appreciate it more than you thought I did. I was scared sometimes, but that was when I was getting very heavy. You know what, Jack? You are a good dad. I was right.”_

_“What do you mean?”_ He lowered his eyebrows, lost in her meaning.

_“When I was pregnant, I told you that you were going to be a good dad because of how much of a gentleman you were and how caring you had become since you found out you were going to be a dad. As the story goes, you run out crying and miss the rest of the ultrasound. But I was right. I don't think you'd be such a good dad with any other child, but you... you know Jackie. You can walk in to a temper tantrum we've been dealing with for hours and you can just kneel next to her and calm her down in minutes. You are a fucking amazing father.”_

Jack held his girlfriend's hand and a smile covered his face.

 _“Thank you, hon.”_ His voice was still quiet and reserved, though it sounded so much happier.

 _“Excuse me, Mr. Bright? Your daughter's vitals are stable and you are able to visit her.”_ A nurse alerted them, her head turned towards Jack.

 _“You go on, Jack. I know you're worried.”_ She flicked him off, and he sat up straight before standing up. He followed the nurse through winding corridors and corridors, and she took him to a small room.

_“She's in here, Mr. Bright.”_

He entered the small room and saw Jackie, asleep on the bed. He dragged a small chair over to her and sat next to the little bed. She was fine. Her little heart was beating and she was breathing, though laboured. Maybe she had some phlegm to cough up? He didn't know.

He held her little hand with his fingers. She was so tiny. So small. And he loved her so much.

_“I am so proud of you, Jackie. You're such a brave, brave little girl. You're such a wonderful little girl.”_

He felt her tiny hand try and squeeze his.

_“I love you so much, Jackie. I could talk for hours and hours about just how much I adore you. The truth is that you don't really know how my heart feels about you. Maybe you will some day, but I don't think I could ever explain it to you.”_

Jackie was restless in the hospital bed, and she whimpered softly. Her eyes flickered and she whimpered again. She wiggled her fingers in his hand before yawning, and opening her eyes very slowly. She only opened them halfway.

_“Hello there, Jackie. How are you?”_

She didn't really reply to him. She simply laid there in the little bed and twiddled her little fingers. But she looked at him, and she smiled. She held his hand very tightly and waved it up and down, rubbing it with her fingers. She looked happier than before. A lot happier.

_“Well, Jackie, you look-”_

_“Happy!”_ She nodded.

_“Yeah? You're happy?”_

_“Yeah. Happy.”_

_“I'm happy about that too, babygirl. Very happy.”_


	7. Chapter Seven: Present Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack visits Dr. Glass for his own psych evaluation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. Sorry about the lack of updates, I've been busy with exams, and I've had extreme writer's block with this and a lack of motivation, as well as my own difficulties in making the story clear and understandable, the lore self-documenting and actually getting the characters right. I feel like I slowly am getting a proper grip of the characters and writing them properly, as well as improving the tone of the story and expressing ASD symptoms in a writable, understandable form (I find it fairly hard to express my symptoms myself, communication is one of my weakpoints). Research is also a bitch, as this is meant to be set in the 80's and I'm trying to get things like culture and things that damn well existed then. If you do know a few things, feel free to PM me some tidbits so I can worldbuild a little. There will be more chapters; I'm currently working on another flashback and I've got a fair chunk done. (:

That night, and the bellow of temper tantrums and overstimulation over the ensuing five days changed Jack for the better after it's completion, especially after he had returned home from the paediatric ward with Jackie in a stroller and slumped on to the sofa, his tired girl laying her head to rest on his chest, happy she was home.

One of Jack's most vivid memories, one he could still see, smell and feel was that of Jackie in the hospital bed, her confused eyes darting around the room, shaking and nervous. The scent of sterilisation, with just a hint of fumigation, assaulted his nostrils and forced his eyes to water, despite the fact they were protected by shields of glass. He snaked out a trembling hand, his senses overwhelmed, feeling a uniformity, a connection with his daughter. This is how she felt - a sickly prickling buzz that invaded and pillaged every cell in his body, unable to concentrate and unable to even think without a thick fog barricading his train of thought, feeling his thoughts, and thinking his feelings - every single day. He waited in that hospital room for five days, his senses eventually acclimatising, but a twitching Jackie never did.

After her awakening in the hospital, she had lulled herself to sleep under the strict yet lenient guide of draining anaesthesia, the ECG that loomed just across the room from Jack providing to him a stable proof of his baby's heartbeat. He could remember feeling an odd closeness to her, an urge to cuddle and hug her, to care for her, keep her close. The same one he'd felt when she was born. He'd always chalked it down to her vulnerability, though he could never quite satiate his curiosity.

That night, he'd ended up resting his head on the padded edge of Jackie's hospital bed, his hand snaked just through the bars so she could hold it if she woke up. He hadn't slept, though he'd drifted through states of consciousness, the ECG's noise phasing him in and out of sleep almost rhythmically. The noise washed over him, foreboding, forming chasms of anxiety in the empty pits of his stomach, though keeping hope inside him, keeping his own heart beating in motion with that of his daughter.

A tired yawn washed over him now, with Jackie on his lap, but he couldn't help but think about the fleeting time on the paediatric care ward that had collapsed in on him after Jackie's surgery. He still had flashing memories of amalgamated, softly sung lullabies.

"Hush little baby, don't say a word, daddy's gonna buy you a mocking bird..." He found one particular chant escaping his lips now, voice soft and smooth, yet tinged with a hint of sadness, left over from his reminiscence. The sound was muffled by the wetness of his two close lips, song barely escaping but so present in Clef's clustered office.

He'd repeated them like a prayer to restless, overstimulated Jackie, the words leaking in to his blood. It still seemed so odd to him, even all these years after the lullaby had last escaped his lips, to buy a child a mocking bird.

"And if that mocking bird won't sing, daddy's gonna buy you a diamond ring." He mindfully sang this time, remembering his hushed, cloistered voice on the ward, as to not disturb other patients or their parents.

He knew his daughter's condition had never seemed all that worry inducing or serious, but the way Jackie felt was incredibly serious to him. He'd been quite aware of the other parents' concern at the way he mollycoddled her, and how they wondered if she was suffering. She was, but not in a way they could really... understand.

"And if that diamond ring turns brass, daddy's gonna buy you a looking glass." The mindful tone to his voice was now gone, the slot now occupied by the opposite of complete absent-mindedness.

Jackie had cuddled up to him now, and Clef had stationed himself opposite, having glided past Jack's intuition and in to his chair without noticing.

"You have a lovely singing voice, honeybee."

Jack's eyes snapped towards the bag that had appeared in front of him, emblazoned with a familiar logo. Clef had gone to get McDonalds in the time he'd been idly thinking of Jackie's childhood, though his report had somehow finished itself, information perfectly extrapolated from his messy handwriting. Only someone that knew him would have been able to read him like this.

Talented, sneaky little girl.

"Glassy wants to see you, doll. It's evaluation time." Clef stated, tapping his fingers on the desk. "But first, I brought you a cheeseburger."

"I'll eat it later, I have to go see Glassy. I don't like him when he's pissed off." A small pout painted Jack's lips, and a slight furrow of his brow appeared. "Jackie, I have to go now. I'm going to go see my psychiatrist - he's a lot like your one. I'm going to leave you here with Uncle Clef, alright?"

"Yeah." Jackie nodded as her father slipped away from her and closed his laptop, opening up the space between her and Clef. Intimidating man.

"And, maybe you could ask him some questions you have?" Jack suggested, though he didn't elicit a reply from his daughter. The pressure of time weighed on his back, as well as memories of Dr. Glass' annoyed stares and twitchy glares that forced him to move a little quicker. "Bye-bye, babygirl. I love you. I'll see you in a bit."

His legs made quick work of the remaining distance between the chair and the elevator, and he disappeared shortly after, the tapping of Dr. Glass' black ball-point on a cheap wooden desk becoming all the more clear to him.

A deep breath in aided his entrance in to the empty room, eyes soon after finding the sillhouette of Dr. Glass brewing coffee in the corner, tapping his foot on the lino beneath him repetitively. He craned his neck to see the twitching, angry man grumbling over the coffee machine. Jack quietly made his way over to the chair and sat, tapping his index fingers together in rhythm with Glass' foot. The machine hissed and spat, Glass grumbled once more, plucking up a filled white mug, and pivoted on one foot to see his next patient sat twiddling his thumbs. A smile upturned the sour expression on his face, and he sat down on the adjoined chair, slipping the smiley-face mug down on to a small table by his side.

"I think I might be late, I'm sorry. Dr. Clef went to McDonalds before telling me you wanted me down here." Jack apologised, sighing out, hand on his chest.

"No, Dr. Bright, it's fine. He left before his session was over, anyway." Glassy wrinkled his nose in a convincing fake smile. "Allow me to go get your file, and then we'll start. Okay?"

"My file number is... thirty seven, I think." 

"Thank you for reminding me, Dr. Bright."

"You tend to forget." Jack blinked back a tear of fatigue and eyed up Glass's coffee, tempted to drink it.

"That I do." Dr. Glass raised fom his green chair and fumbled in a filing cabinet just by his trusty coffee machine for a yellow folder. He would have normally had this prepared for a patient, as he had done with Dr. Clef, but a small break had been taken due to that particular doctor's twisted, peculiar taste in humour. He rejoined his new patient; a man he regarded as slightly strange, but respectful, kind... and ever blunt. "Today is the 5th of October, 1989, isn't it?"

Jack checked his wrist and his watch, a consistent reminder of the time and date. "It is, yes."

"What's been going on then, Dr. Bright? How was your month?" Dr. Glass chewed at the end of his pen and looked at Jack with pensiveness.

"Fairly laborious, actually. I've been working on this report for weeks, and I've got a stable draft but I'm probably going to have to rewrite it later on. It's fairly boring, but... it's work. It's what I have to do."  Jack nodded, and rolled his head around on his shoulders.

"There are things you can do to make work more interesting, such as taking more sporadic breaks, or decorating your desk. Even small things can make work easier to cope with, Dr. Bright." Dr. Glass yawned, though didn't stretch. He took a sip of his still scalding coffee. The temperature prickled his lips.

"Well, I did find that bringing my daughter made it easier to work. I don't really have to worry about her." 

"Your daughter?" Dr. Glass's eyes perked up, suddenly looking intrigued and enthralled. Dr. Clef had noted this earlier.

"Yes." Jack nodded, rubbing a finger against the peculiar-textured green hessian he sat on. 

"Would you mind telling me about her?" Dr. Glass nodded towards his patient, and took another miniscule sip of the bitter, blistering drink in his mug.

"I prefer not to really say much about her."

"Everything here is completely confidential, so if you'd like to talk about your daughter, you can." Dr. Glass gives a somewhat calming, somewhat patronising smile. "No need to fear me telling anyone anything about her."

A moment of deliberation built a thick wall between Jack and the man across from him, thinking of something recent to perhaps, spew in to the room and off his emotion-laden chest. Jack fiddled with an almost-curly-but-not-quite lock of scarlet hair, momentarily catching a hangnail on his golden earring.

Absent-minded, loose lips decided exactly what he was going to say. "She fucking loves Kate Bush. There's a new album coming out soon, according to my girlfriend, and my daughter has gone completely, absolutely wild. I buy her the cassettes, for her birthdays and Christmas, and the vinyls, and she burns the things out. I quite like those songs myself, but I have to listen to them a lot now, and she'll normally wear headphones but ever since her mother told her there was a new album she put her stereo on and hasn't stopped. God, I can hear Night of the Swallow in my dreams at this point, if she isn't secretly playing it when everyone is asleep." 

"And... how do you feel about that?" Dr. Glass, taken ever so slightly aback, blinked away any signs of visible confusion and smiled, looking perky and amicable.

"I'm just... I'm glad she's happy. She's autistic, and with that often comes anxiety and depression. She's so young, and having been dealing with that myself since the amulet came around... I'll do anything so she doesn't have to. Even if it means sitting with her for hours while listening to the same album on repeat." 

"I think that makes you a good father, Dr. Bright. Since when has she liked it?" Dr. Glass nodded at Jack, taking this time not a sip, but a swig of his drink, having cooled enough for him to lap it up like a dog.

"Ever since she was little. She's always liked it, and I've always quite liked it myself, but her mother used to love it; she listened to it a lot when she was pregnant. I feel my daughter might have picked up her music taste there. But, a few years ago, I got one of the albums, and my daughter just... she absolutely fell in love with it. It's one of her favourite things, other than the Foundation." Jack looked at the memory of his gasping, enthralled daughter, practically hugging the stereo, fawning over the shrill yet enchaning voice of Ms. Kate Bush with such happiness.

"The Foundation? How does she know?" Glass tilted his head slightly.

"She's a smart little girl, Dr. Glass. She doesn't know much, I wouldn't tell her much, but she does know it exists. Doesn't know anything about skips, just that they're here. She wants to work here when she's older, just like her daddy. She understands secrecy, she won't talk to anyone about it. She doesn't even go to school, she can't cope with it."

"And she is entirely safe, right? She isn't too curious as to wander off and mess with them?"

"Yes, of course, yes. She knows they're very dangerous."

"And does she make you happy?" Dr. Glass, though asking textbook questions, finally had some kind of meaningful expression on his face. He didn't look annoyed, tired, or absent minded - and Jack felt he was being listened to.

"Yes. She... she makes me so happy. She's so sweet, and she's a lovely little girl. You know, it's her birthday next month. She's going to be ten. We always throw quite a small party, just family and Dr. Clef, she can't cope with much more."

"So, you've been a father for almost ten years. Do you enjoy it? Do you think you're a good father?" Dr. Glass was chiselling away at his coffee with fury, but it seemed almost... bottomless.

"I don't think I'm a bad dad." Jack deliberated, tongue hovering over an answer. "I'm not what she needs, though, she has a dependency on me and obviously, I can't be there all the time." He caught the familiar sight of dregs of coffee lingering at the bottom of Dr. Glass's mug, yet Dr. Glass still rose the ceramic to his thin lips.

Another moment of silence filled the room, though not a cloying silence; actually quite refreshing in texture. It felt careful, calm, thoughtful. 

FInally, Glass raised his head and eyes from the lineoleum floor with something to say.

"I don't think any person really _can_ always be there for someone, not in a physical sense, at least. You have a life to live, and it isn't her; it simply involves her."

* * *

 

"...So, Jackie, what are you listening to?" Alto Clef - with two balled fists holding him up - flickered his head around the room and then attached his gaze to the small girl perched on a chair weaving her fingers together, restless eyes tracing over patterns in the soft red floor. "Your daddy says you like Kate Bush. Is that what you're listening to?"

Still, the child didn't answer, but instead ignored her temporary caregiver in order to closely inspect her stubby fingernails. She raised a finger between her lips and bit off the tiny amount her teeth could rip off, before her uncle noticed two headphones resting in her ears. 

Probably best to leave her alone.

He slinked in to his cushioned chair and rested his head on a fist, carefully studying the disconnected child in front of him. Disconnected, being, from the present, lost in some kind of dancing musical world, listening to that _blood-curdling_ voice. He was sure it wasn't all blood curdling; he knew how Jackie was with noise. Just, from what he had listened to, absolutely blood curdling, brain scrambling, entirely unsustainable on any kind of human vocal cords. 

Jackie raised a small, portable cassette player and flicked at the buttons. She threw her head back and blinked to the new beat forming in her head, swaying from side to side. 

But, this was a very specific song.

A very specific song, indeed...

 


	8. Chapter Eight: Cloudbusting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie recounts one of the cornerstones of her childhood and how it all went down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soup’s up! This took several months and is honeslty the reason this isn’t updated too often because I wanted to get it just right. Today is the day that happens! It’s been rewritten several times because honestly, symbolism is hard, and so was this concept. I cried writing this and I hope you cry reading it because holy shit, this means a lot to me, and so would an emotional response :’) Also: Please let me know what you think! Feedback and criticism is really appreciated because I’m not the best writer and I need some help staying on track sometimes.

_"That's right, Jackie. Twist the dial, focus in on the image."_ Her father's voice, obviously patient, reminded her of what she had to do. His voice was evident of a... smile? She didn't know, she couldn't see him. _"Don't worry, you have a good picture. You've got a good eye for these, babygirl. You've got it perfect, you can shoot whenever you're ready."_

Though her hands had slipped away many times before, she was confident in what she had to do this time. Vibrant hues of blue, from aquamarine to navy to sky, filled her vision as her thick glasses pressed up against the lens, dotted with glinting, twinkling white light. Her lips tightened in focus, her toes curled in her sandals, her hairs raised on her back. Her hands fumbled for the big blue button on the side, fingers searching for the braille that would signal to her. This shot was perfect.

 _"Button?"_ Her mouth slid to the side; eyes unable to take themselves away from the lens in paranoia she'd lose the perfect focus. 

_"You've got it, princess. Press whenever you're ready, count to ten, release. You're perfectly in focus."_

Jackie slammed her small fingers down on the button with a hearty click and counted from one to ten with perfect spaces before releasing her grip on the button. Her hands hadn't responded to her brain properly, and the hold had clocked in at eleven seconds; would that make any difference? She sat back in the chair she'd pulled up to the machine. Eleven seconds shouldn't have made a difference, but the Cloudbuster was a new machine and in every other sense, it was extremely precise. She knew it took a shot every 10 seconds, so most likely, it had taken a shot, and then begun to gear itself up for another. 

Jackie felt exhilarated, and she didn't know why.  All she had done was taken a picture. A picture of space, and a nebula thousands of light years away, and this had taken months to perfect and master. This was the first true photo the Cloudbuster had taken, complete with an entire set of imaging data. Imaging data had been collected before, and could map images with clearness, but the telescope itself had never been so focused.

Jackie knew the Cloudbuster better than the men who built it did, she liked to think. How to focus it, and how to find the most beautiful things in the universe. 

_"Did you get it?"_ Her dejected head pushed sideways and her eyes wandered across the observatory, vast to her but comparatively tiny to a normal observatory. _"Did I take the picture?"_

_"You did, and it's perfect. Trust my baby to take the most beautiful photo I've ever seen."_

Jackie couldn't help but smile to herself, noticing that she had been tapping her fingers together. The first true photo taken with her father's telescope had been made under her hands, and though she wasn't good with emotions, he had a clear show of pure delight and pride on his face. A smile she could guarantee as sincere, and a twinkle in his eye prefaced a warm hug. Her cheek prickled with the itchy yarn comprising his sweater.

 _"I'm so proud of you, Jackie."_ He smiled again before letting go, and slid to the control panel. Jackie jumped down from her chair to catch a glimpse of the grey panel and the green, red and blue blinking lights decorating the side of the machine, arranging themselves in a semblance of order she knew so well, but looked like gibberish to people from all other walks of life.

Her eyes strayed back to the cream floral chair she'd made a home in during the past few months, learning the intricate twists and turns of the machine. It was like a chair that belonged to some kind of old lady, a nice old lady, one who liked to knit for her grandchildren. Her head swayed, inundated with the dust that haunted their observatory.

The Cloudbuster itself, the machine and attached telescope, was the only reason she was allowed in the observatory. It had been dubbed 'too dangerous' for her small stumbling feet, but a little persuasion had been used to allow her up there with adult supervision. The observatory itself was old and decrepit, falling apart at its seams, infested with wood rot and woodlice and whatever other things made wooden structures unsafe for clumsy children. 

The observatory needed to be rebuilt, and Jackie had fantasised about that greatly, night after night as she waited to fall asleep. She wanted the dome to be painted a metallic blue, and the crumbling wood beneath to be reinforced in to brick and panelled with wood before being coated in brilliant white paint; washable, of course, so the tumbling wheat wouldn't damage its exterior. Safer stairs could be implemented too; spiral stairs, with a guard rail, black and sleek and modern, and safe, so she wouldn't fall down them, and she would be able to come up here, even when her father wasn't there. 

Her being up here made him incredibly proud, especially when she was taking photographs using the Cloudbuster, or when she was developing the photos she had taken (despite their inferior focus,) or when she successfully rotated the dome... she knew her father felt an immense sense of pride for his daughter and she wanted him to keep feeling that pride for her. It was an expectation, of sorts, that she held to herself to keep him happy, as a... thank you? Reward? Bragging right? She didn't know why, she didn't know at all, but she wanted to make him proud.

His head was pressed up against the screen where the imaging data was output by the machine, eyes flashing to the three blinking lights above him. His eyes scanned the data appearing like magic on the screen, searching for numbers, or statistics he could extrapolate from the on-screen chunks of wording and numbering in the blink of an eye. 

He built the Cloudbuster along with a few colleagues, and this language, a self-christened scientific language of the cosmos had become second nature to him. He was the one who had found a way to turn pixels in to decipherable words and code, and while this amount of data would take him a while, it was easy enough to do, a simple translation task.

His eyes left the post of watching the data for long enough to notice his daughter's outstretched arms hidden just beneath a tumbling lab coat that had once belonged to him, and he scooped her in to his arms absentmindedly, eyes returning to the data flow just across from him. Such beautiful numbers.

 _"What do we do with it now, daddy?"_ Jackie questioned, trying to make some sense of the data flow herself. Where he saw coordinates, and patterns, and words, she saw nothing but numbers and code. His attempts to teach her the language had proved fruitless, as with a certain group of sparkling flashcards dating to a few years before.

 _"Well, we study it, and we see what we can learn from it. We'll find out about where it was taken, what exactly we're seeing, and we might even be able to figure out things about radio signatures and radiation and different kinds of fingerprints left by whatever might be there."_ His answer, despite trailing eyes and tumbling mind, remained fairly competent, though he muttered with an edge of unsureness.

 _"You think there might be radio signatures up there, daddy?"_ A pang of excitement rushed down Jackie's arms, forcing them to jump up at electric speeds. Clumsy hands made quick work of the glasses planted on her father's face, and soon enough, they were on the wooden ground. _"Sorry, daddy."_

 _"Hey, it's fine, babygirl, don't you worry."_ Jackie found herself on the ground again momentarily as her father plucked his spectacles from the dirty, crumbling floor, inspecting a slight chip in their oval lenses before pressing them in to place once more. Refreshed with vision, Jack shook a feeling of blindness from his head and picked his daughter up from the ground again, ignoring the data screen and now focusing on the newly rendered image, and the options to print it.

 _"Are there radio signatures up there, daddy?"_ Jackie's voice barely disturbed his concentration anymore; being so used to his daughter and her questions had made him a better father and worker.

 _"Well, I don't know, but there might be. We won't know anything about things like that until the imaging data is completely collated. Whatever's up there, though, should be fascinating."_ He sealed the promise of interesting results with a kiss pressed to his daughter's forehead. _"Are you excited, princess?"_

 _"I wanna find aliens, daddy!"_ Jackie enthused, clapping her hands together. She was quite excited, now that he'd mentioned the possibility of such a feeling being applicable to the situation. _"Do you think there are aliens?"_

 _"Maybe, Jackie. It would be fun if we found some aliens, wouldn't it?"_ Jack smiled, stroking the wispy hair on the side of his daughter's head. _"Think of all the research we could do on that, Jackie. Days, and days and days of reports!"_

 _"I like reports."_ Jackie nodded; a feeling she knew she felt, not one that had to be authorised by the presence of another.

 _"I know you do, Jackie. I like reports too."_ His head quickly snapped to check the data stream and the image on the screens just across from him. All fine. _"Do you know what else I like, Jackie-"_

 _"Bright. The council has called rewrite."_ A stark voice marched across the room to father and daughter, sourcing from two men in dark garb, looming in the arch that gave access to the stairs. 

_"I like you, Jackie. That's what I like."_ Jack, now reduced to 'Bright,' took a deep breath out,  placed Jackie down on the ground again, and pressed the print screen. _"I need you to go do something very important for me, princess, I need you to go develop this for me. You remember how to develop it, don't you, Jackie?"_

 _"Yes. Daddy, what's the council?"_ Jackie looked up from her position on the ground, her head leveling as he knelt down in front of her. He had a smile on his face that seemed entirely nonchalant at first glance, but Jackie knew there was something wrong, something off about the way he smiled. It distressed her that she didn't know what it was, that she couldn't tell what was wrong with her daddy.

 _"Don't you worry, babygirl. You don't need to know about the council, it's a silly, silly thing, let's just focus on getting the photo developed."_ A ream of film spewed from the Cloudbuster, and Jackie received a tightly-wrapped roll of photo film, the silver negatives just visible through the dark covering. _"Use the CD-4 developer, the label is on the jar."_

_"Can't you do it, daddy? I'm not very good at developing the photos yet."_

_"I'm sorry, baby, but I'm not too sure if the printer is fully installed, and I really don't want to lose your pretty picture. Remember, developer bath, then the stop bath, and then the fixer bath in the dark."_ She could tell now; his nonchalance was fake, he was never this dismissive, or this adamant, and the Cloudbuster didn't lose the photo after it was sent to print on either option - ever. It hadn't been designed to, and it never had as an unwanted bug, either.

There was something going on here, and now, Jackie knew what it was.

_"You're going away again, aren't you, daddy?"_

Jack remained silent for a few moments, his lips pressed together, holding back searing lumps of truth before breathing in and putting a hand to the side of his daughter's face, thick fingers tracing the patterns of a eczema ridden, scratched up cheek.

 _"Let's not worry about that right now, Jackie. Go on, baby, go develop it."_ His tone was... dismissive of her fears and soft, it was reassuring, but even through her skewed view of the world around her, she could see she was right.

 _"Please, please don't go, daddy-"_ She pleaded, but he raised a finger to her trembling lips and pressed her nose with the top of his finger, just catching the skin with his nail.

 _"Jackie, please."_ He grew closer and his tone became softer, more amicable.

 _"Why, daddy?"_ Betrayal hit Jackie like a stone rolling down a hill - and she had to fight back a few tears that formed constricting rings around her throat. 

_"Because you're a very brave little girl, and I know you can go do this in the meantime before we talk about what's going to happen later."_

He had only just come back.

_"Bright, we don't have all day."_

_"I'm coming."_ His soft, calm voice sucked up a portion of monotone, almost like a drone in nature. _"I love you, Jackie."_ The softness returned, but soon after, he let go and walked away. 

Jackie wandered over to the 'developing station' - a small, dark corner of the observatory where photos could be developed with ease. Though her mind was abhorred at the thought of hearing about her daddy leaving, her ears listened out, and forced her mind to co-operate. Fingers lingered just over the chemical bath, unfocused on the task at hand.

 _"...Specifically, you're required to oversee the newcomers to rewrite and to rewrite your own reports. It's a full rewrite, by the way. Everything must be updated, confirmed, you know the drill."_ The voice of the first man, cloaked in a deep, deep black trench coat, was cold, almost crumbly, as if his voice box was falling apart at the edges. 

_"Early rewrite, isn't it?"_ Her father took on an inquisitive tone. Jackie yearned to be there with him, to cling on to his leg, to tell the men to go away. To keep him.

_"The council does what it does, Bright, you know that."_

_"Is there family accommodation?"_ His voice was so quick, hard to catch and easy to miss words, but Jackie knew the men would have picked up. They always did when it came to these things. Whenever they came.

Jackie viewed them as harbingers of some sort, but... harbingers of what? Isolation, perhaps? Loneliness, anger, sadness. The emotions Jackie could name and pinpoint that weren't positive. It spiralled from a so-called 'dependency' on her father - that's what her psychiatrist had told her, that was why she was so sad when he was gone. If she had this 'dependency,' then why was she being left alone? Surely, it was bad for her. It didn't make any sense. Nothing made any sense.

 _"Solo rewrite. Children over the age of two are right out."_

_"Yeah. Fine, fine. That's okay. When do we leave?"_ Jackie dropped down to the floor, head facing the wall from beneath the table. She spotted the sky outside through a small chip in the old wooden panels, and the vibrant blue hues, mixed with dregs of clouds were momentarily calming.

 _"Tomorrow morning. The plane leaves at 6:30. You've been partnered up with Dr. Clef."_

_"Yeah, that's fine, that's okay."_

_"It's been requested you wear your amulet during the course of the rewrite."_ The necklace, the big silver one, was coming out? That didn't come out. It was so secret, and so dangerous she had never even been allowed to look at it for more than a few seconds.

_"I'll get it out. Where are the tickets?"_

_"Given to Dr. Clef."_

_"Thank you. You can go now."_

A moment or so passed, her sight covered by tears, and a barely coherent Jackie was carted outside in to tumbling reams of wheat and corn by her father. Her brave face had melted away. She found herself sat on a bench, overlooking the beaten down observatory and the wheat that sprawled beyond them. It was late summer, nearly harvest season by now, and all of it looked ready.

 _"I'm so sorry, Jackie. I really am."_ Jack kept his distance from her, knowing she would come closer when she felt ready to. _"I know I've just come back, and that I've barely been able to spend any time with you, but now I have to go away again for a long time."_ He felt the warm, welcome weight of his daughter leaning on his side. _"But... you're my big brave girl, Jackie. I know you can do this, just like you always have."_

 _"And being brave means doing it even though you're scared."_ She mumbled, her voice peeking from beneath the cover of his arm, and he nodded slowly to match.

 _"You're right, babygirl. You always hang in there when I'm gone, even if you're scared. That's why you're my big brave girl."_ He ruffled her hair, barely touching her scalp with his fingers at all. _"I'm going to send you lots of letters, and lots of presents, and I'll make sure I call you every day, I promise."_ He held out a pinky, wavering it just in front of her for it to be grabbed and shaken.

 _"Why do you have to go? You just came back."_ Jackie frowned, and a point she has made to herself earlier returned to her. _"And, and the psychiatrist lady said that you leaving was very bad for me, and that it made me sad."_

 _"Sometimes, when you work for the Foundation, you have to prioritise working there and doing what you're needed to, and that means leaving your family, even if you don't want to."_ He shook his head slowly and sighed outwards. _"And you still have mommy, don't you? She’s very good at looking after you."_

_"But, why are you going away, daddy?"_

_"I have to go and rewrite all of my reports and oversee a group of doctors that need to rewrite theirs, as well."_ He explained, holding a hand out for her.

_"I write reports, so, so, why don't I get to go?"_

_"I know, and your reports are really good, but you don't work for the Foundation and you haven't submitted any reports to rewrite. Plus, you're old enough to understand and remember information you shouldn't hear, and they can't risk you telling anyone."_ His tone was calm and soft again, but Jack was on the verge of tears himself. It always weakened him when he heard her cry.

 _"But I won't tell anyone, daddy! You know I won't!"_ Jackie hoped she was breaking through that thick layer of stone that was prohibiting her from staying with him. The technique had worked before, where she simply cried until he had found some kind of way to get out of the conference. 

_"I know you wouldn't, but they don't, and you're a little too young to take an oath of secrecy."_ He shook his head. _"And if they let you come, then they have to let other children come, too."_

 _"But, daddy, the psychiatrist said-"_

_"I know what she said, Jackie, and I want to honour it because I know it's true, but there is nothing I can do."_ Jack took on a harsh tone with his daughter; he had to make her understand the situation. He didn't want to shout or yell at her - she was just a kid, and she wouldn't understand why he was yelling at her. 

Jackie stifled herself after what she viewed as a 'telling-off' of sorts - she felt like she had to be strong and stoic in her father's eyes, but her tears choked her from the inside. Two choked wheezes escaped her mouth, and she found a hand resting on her back, providing a calming, comfortable weight. 

_"How long are you gonna be gone?"_ She looked up at him and a few tears ran down her cheeks.

_"There isn't really a point in lying to you, and saying that I don't know, is there?"_

_"No."_

_"Five to six weeks, Jackie. It's always been around five or six weeks. The longest one I've ever been to was two months, though, they try not to keep you away from your family for too long."_ He sighed outwards, closed his eyes, and braced himself for the shrill sound of his daughter's cries.

_"So you're going to be gone, for a really, really long time?"_

_"Yes, Jackie. Don't be sad, there's a bright side, too - I don't think I'll have to go on any trips for a few months after I'm home, so it'll just be me and you."_ Surprised she hadn't burst in to tears, he sighed outwards in relief.

_"What's gonna happen, daddy?" Her quivering lip stopped for a moment to speak._

__"Well, when we get back to the ranch, I'll get packed up, and then I'll drive to the airport, where I'll meet Uncle Clef, and then we'll sleep for the night, and then in the morning we'll fly off and go to the conference."_ He leant back and scratched his head for a moment, taking some time to consider his words. _"Maybe, you could come to the airport with me. Would that help you feel better about me leaving?"__

_"I think so."_

_"Well, that's... I think that's better than nothing, babygirl."_ Jack pressed his daughter into his arms and stood up, surveying the cashmere fields beyond him. _"Come on, Jackie, let's go home. I think you've had enough observatory for today."_

———————————————————————————— 

__"And, you think we'll be there for six weeks, honey?"_ _

__"It normally is, and I reckon we've done the same amount of work as we always do in the period between rewrites, so... maybe that's why they called it now? So we're not away for too long?"_ _

_"That makes a lot of sense, actually."_ Alto pointed at the small girl resting on his companion's chest. _"Holding up well?"_

_"No. Not at all."_

Jackie opened one eye and surveyed the restaurant; chock-full of people; warm and bright; things she hated. The jarring flicker of alphanumeric cards in the distance taunted her. She twitched and jerked to release the agitated energy inside. Jackie did not have the urge for a hug or a kiss, but wanted to leave and wander instead. Somewhere with less people and noise and light. Less stressful than an airport. 

She'd never been to an airport before, and perhaps the next time - should she ever end up in one again - it would be a little better, but it certainly wasn't right now. She couldn't fathom it; how did people _cope_ with a place like _this?_ How did people frequent these places in movies? She understood the concept of needing to travel, but the desperation some people must have felt to get places made no sense to her. 

Jackie wriggled away from her father's arms and slinked down to the floor to sit by the lounge chair. She gazed over the glass balcony to the reams of buzzing travellers below, people at storefronts, the heat-induced haziness of donut stands and hot dog sellers and the clash and clink of trolleys. She shook and waved her arms to rid herself of the energy she felt once more. She had to. She couldn't stop it. 

Her brain felt... a mist of sorts, hanging over it every time she tried to construct a thought. That was fine; she had the capability to move around, and she crawled closer to the glass panels in front of her to run her fingers underneath the small gap between the glass and the ground, to see if it was smooth, and it was smooth and impeccably dusty. She rubbed the dust between her fingers before wiping it off on her dress. She stood up and peered through the gap between the glass and the thick wooden handrail above, pressing her forehead in to the smooth composite. She didn't pay attention to the people below her but still gazed on as if she had to. There was nothing else for Jackie to do. 

There was really nowhere to wander, either. She'd explored the restaurant before attempting to settle down on her father's chest for a few minutes. She turned back towards them to see them still enraptured in conversation about work things; and then she caught something out the corner of her eye. 

The restaurant was part of a strip of sorts, and it was open to a panelled walkway that connected to other storefronts on this level of the airport. Over on the right end, towards a waiting area, there was a huge window, and she caught the sight of a plane flying in to the air with a mighty whoosh. 

She ran over the tightly-condensed wooden panels and across reams of people to the window to see the huge beaked plane take off across the sky. She followed it until she couldn't see it anymore and it flew further and further into the sky, like a rocket. 

_"So, you like the Concorde?"_ Jack knelt down besides her, having taken note of her wonder. He'd run over himself after noticing she'd left his line of sight. 

_"Concorde?"_

_"That big plane you were watching? It's called a Concorde. They can go really fast."_

_"When does the next plane come, daddy?"_

Jack flicked his head away from his daughter to look at the flickering board over the other side of the building. His eyes squinted, as hard as they could, to try and read it. 

_"I think about fifteen minutes? I'm not too sure. But we can watch the planes if you'd like. Or, Uncle Clef wants to do some shopping, and we can join him?"_ He put an arm around his daughter and picked her up. She was still small enough to pick up and cuddle - well, she was his daughter, and he wasn't tall by any stretch of the imagination - and for that, he was thankful. _"We can watch the planes later, too. There are more takeoffs at night."_

_"Okay, daddy."_ She didn't struggle in his arms, and she felt calmer now, but she still twitched and her hands spasmed uncontrollably. _"What is a Concorde?"_

_"It's, it's a supersonic jet. They can go about 1300 miles an hour, and they're designed to go as fast as possible. You know how the tip bends? That's to make it more aerodynamic."_ Jack's eyes flickered over to his flamboyant friend, who was perusing through discounted vodkas and spirits. _"Aerodynamic is where it's more effective against how air would slow it down. The more aerodynamic something is, the faster it can go, because air doesn't drag it back."_

_"Can we go in one, daddy?"_ Jackie peered at the stacked panels flying past beneath her. 

_"The tickets are really expensive, honey, and I don't have the money, and we don't have anywhere to go, either."_ He caught a glimpse of his daughter's frown and fumbled. _"I'm sorry, babygirl."_

_"I like aeroplanes."_ Jackie mumbled, the scent of perfume becoming more obvious. _"I don't like perfume, daddy, make it go away, please."_ She buried her head into his shoulder. 

_"We're passing the perfume section now."_ He reassured. _"You wanna help me choose something to keep me entertained on the flight?"_

_"Yes, daddy."_

_"Jack! Vodka or whiskey?"_ Clef called, grasping Jack's sleeve and pulling him towards the bottles he was poring over. _"You always know how to make a flight tolerable, honey!"_

_"Depends on the altitude."_ Jack said, nonchalantly. 

_"Say, a mile high?"_

_"Oh, aren't you just hilarious?"_ Jack raised a sarcasm-filled eyebrow at Alto's low brow humor and rolled his eyes away, pupils landing on his writhing daughter. 

_"That I am, darling."_ Alto chuckled elegantly at Jack's retort and inspected the bottom of the ornate bottle he was fondling. _"They really do stock these duty free stores with extravagant things, don't they? Anyway, what do I get?"_

_"Traditionally, you prefer whiskey, so I say go with that."_

_"But I want vodka, sugar!"_ Alto whined, staring down the bottle in his right hand with a pout. Jackie reached out for it, but Clef whipped it away from her before she could touch.  

_"Then get vodka, Alto."_

_"I'm gonna get both."_ He concluded, satiating his hands with two thick glass bottles filled with swirling liquids. 

_"I don't want vodka."_ Jackie shook her head, and noticed just how oddly she was resting in her father's arms, like a baby that had squirmed away from it's blanket and had remained unrestrained for too long. She twitched her red shoe and flickered her fingers up and down, her toes thumping the leather insides of the patent mary-jane. 

_"Oh, honey, this isn't for you. You're a little too young for alcohol yet. Hey, why don't we get you something to drink?"_ Jack cooed, stifling a laugh. 

_"I just had lemonade."_ Jackie looked up as her father unscrambled her position and pressed her close. 

_"Ah, alright then. If you want a drink, you let me know, babygirl."_

_"I'm gonna go and buy these."_ Alto sped away, eyeing up the golden liquid laying tame in his gloved hands, and disappeared from Jackie's sight. 

Jack began walking again, this time towards the books in the corner, towards novels and newspapers and magazines. He let his eyes gloss over little guilty pleasures; stories of women being swept off their feet by gorgeous hunks of muscle and smolder; gossip of celebrities and affairs and plastic surgeries; and the tamer ones, of course, novels about missing children and wives. A few classics. Jane Austen, Emily Bronte and a few adapted Shakespeare plays stood out to him in particular. 

_"What do you think I should get, babygirl?"_

_"I see Wuthering Heights."_ Jackie replied, pointing to a small orange book in the middle. She'd recognised the complicated name from her mother's music magazines, and the back of cardboard vinyl sleeves. 

_"It's a better song than a book, baby."_ Jack lamented, shaking his head. _"I tried to read it to you, remember? You wouldn't have it, you just kept falling asleep."_

_"Oh, I remember. It was boring. But you're an adult and adults like boring things."_

_"Not that kind of boring thing, Princess. See any Ernest Hemingway? I like his novels."_ Jack asked, motioning to the shelves in front, laden thick with colourful covers sandwiching thinly stacked gritty pages. 

_"You have his books at home, daddy."_ Jackie remembered a particular section of hardback, solid black books stacked on the shelves at home, the old pages thumbed to death, tiny tears characterising the sides of every paragraph. 

_"Mm, and I'm regretting not bringing one or two with me. I always hate aeroplanes, they make me feel so ill."_

_"Do you have to go on it, daddy?"_

_"Yes, sadly. I don't want to, but when you're an adult, you have to do what you have to do."_

_"Why don't you sleep? Then you won't have to feel sick."_ Jackie suggested, her small hands flat like pancakes, one on his back, the other on his shoulder. 

_"It's hard for me to get to sleep on an aeroplane. It can make your ears feel funny and give you a big headache."_

_"I don't like headaches."_

__"Me neither, princess."_ Jack shook his head and readjusted Jackie so he could hug her. _"Maybe I should try a few of these romance novels... they'd keep me entertained for a while."_ He muttered to himself. _"How long would it take to read them, though? A few hours? They're pretty thick."__

__"What's he looking at, Jackie?"_ Alto had silently crept up behind them, his bottles tucked away in a brown paper bag. _

__"Romance stories."_ Jackie kept her head nestled under her father's head. _"Do you know which ones are good?"__

__"I don't read like your daddy does, kid."_ Alto stood closer to Jack and looked over the books. _"Those'll take you about four or five hours, and you normally sleep for an hour or two, and the flight is about ten hours, so I'd say buy two, sunshine."__

__"Yeah, but which ones?"_ _

__"That's for you to decide, I don't read that kind of thing, prince."_ _

__"Isn't that helpful?"_ Jack muttered, plucking two books off the shelf; one a eye-burning orange and the other a sick-reminiscent green. _"I'll just get these ones, how bad can they be?"__

_He bought the books and slipped them in to his satchel, underneath Jackie, who was growing concerned at how dark it was becoming outside. It was getting closer and closer to the time that her father would have to leave her, and the thought loomed over her and refused to leave. It hung just behind her as the stacked wooden panels of the walkway through the storefronts sped past._

__"Well, what should we do now, honey?"_ Alto looked back at the two redheads behind him. _"We went shopping, we've eaten, so now what?"__

__"I promised Jackie we'd look at the planes taking off. You could join us in that, if you wanted to."_ Jack responded, filling the few steps between him and Alto. _"We could go back to the hotel room, maybe?"_ _

__"Hotel room sounds good. We'll go to the hotel room."_ _

_Jackie was carted into the lobby of a hotel; cream and plush, quite luxurious. The plaster on the ceiling was arranged into a fan-like shape, which she fantasised about touching and running her hands over. She looked around the room, but she couldn't focus on any one feature. The next thing she knew, she was in an elevator, travelling up. The elevator's interior disappeared and her eyes surveyed a corridor. The elevator disappeared around a sharp corner, and Jackie found herself in a dark room._

_This was the hotel room that her father and Clef had decided to stay in for the night, until their flight in the morning._

_It was a decadent affair, with cream coloured walls, and shiny marble covering protruding corners. The two beds were covered in soft, white linen, a golden sash decorating each. The first bed, the larger one, lay next to the window, giving a good view of the opposite runway, and the second was closer to the opposite wall, sectioning off a room which Jackie assumed was the bathroom. The ceilings shared the same scalloped pattern as the lobby._

_Jack gingerly placed his daughter down on the second bed, away from the light, and kissed her on the head._

__"I'm going to go in the shower now, Princess. You'll be a good girl for Uncle Clef, won't you?"_ He questioned her, but he said it in such a way Jackie was unable to object to his request._

__"Yes, daddy."_ Jackie mumbled. _

__"You don't want me to be sweaty, do you?"_ He laid his satchel besides her and smiled, and ruffled her hair to try ease the glare in her squinty, shifty eyes, but simply gave up and left. He was too tired to go through the whole charade again._

_Uncle Clef sat down next to her, looking surprisingly comfortable in a shirt and pants. He gently, slowly put a hand on her right shoulder and smiled patiently at her._

__"Your daddy and I are gonna be just fine, kid. This isn't like work, it's very safe, and he'll be okay."_ He reassured, being as quiet as he could. This was a facet of him Jackie had never quite witnessed before; patience, and calm, and care._

__"Well, he's always okay in work. Even if there are monsters there."_ Jackie looked up at her father's masked friend, really scrutinising the chips and quirks in the golden metal and black glass. It was a lot less smooth and refined up close._

__"I know you get worried about it, that's all. Even though you might not like me, I do care about you."_ He nodded. He'd removed his hand from her shoulder by now, and was using his hands to make gestures, but they remained close to him._

__"You're acting weird, Uncle Clef."_ _

__"I am weird, Jackie."_ He nodded and smiled. _"I think me, you, and your daddy, we're all a little strange. Like, a family away from family."_ _

__"I already have two dads, I don't really want another one. I don't have another name for a dad."_ _

__"That's why I'm Uncle Clef instead."_ _

__"Well, you can have a lot of uncles."_ Jackie proclaimed sagely._

__"That's right, kid. I'm going to look after your daddy, okay? I'm going to make sure he isn't sad and that he's safe with me, and I pinky swear to you I'll bring him back in one piece."_ Clef held his smallest finger out for the child to shake. _"And I know it seems like a long time, but we'll be back before you know it."__

__"Okay, Uncle Clef."_ _

_The two stopped talking, instead staring out the window to the calm, clear dusky sky, painted a shade of light, gentle mauve. A few stars had begun to appear, though Jackie wasn't sure if these were stars, or satellites, or planes returning home. Maybe there was a shooting star out there. All that could be heard was the gentle humming of her father from the bathroom behind them._

_This was nice, Jackie thought. Maybe people came to hotels more often than airport storefronts._

__"Uncle Clef, I have a question."_ She turned to the man besides her, her eyes glossing over his smooth black shirt._

__"What's that, Jackie?"_ He replied._

__"Do you love my daddy?"_ _

_Pensive silence became the two again._

__"There are a lot of different kinds of love. You have the love between your mommies and daddies, and you have love between sisters and brothers, and love between parents and their children, and you have love like friendship. And then there's love that's between those things, like, how you and your daddy are friends, but he also loves you like a father should. Me and him have a love that's all mixed up, and it's a little hard to understand, but you will someday."_ _

___"So, you love my daddy?"_ Jackie confirmed, looking up at the strange man the best she could through the thick rim of her glasses._ _

___"Yes, I do. But, Jackie, you can't tell anyone. Do you promise?"_ _ _

___"If you keep your promise, I won't tell anyone."_ She bargained, now with leverage in her pocket that was unlikely to be forgotten. _ _

__She'd known there was something between them. Friends didn't call each other 'honey' or hold hands or cuddle up while watching movies; not from what she knew, anyway. Not that she had any friends to go off - she only had sitcoms - but she was sure that 'friends' didn't do things like that._ _

___"I've never broken a promise, and I'm not going to start now."_ _ _

__It was pretty obvious to her that they _were_ in love, just as her other parents were, even if they didn't live together. They'd always been like this, for as long as she could remember, but she'd noticed that they only held hands and cuddled when nobody else could see them. And, the way that daddy would hold either mama or mommy's hand outside never happened between them either. It seemed to her that they wanted nobody to know that they were in love, even though it was so obvious, and now she had proof they didn't._ _

__But _why?__ _

___"Then I won't tell anyone."_ The child stared down at her small hands. _"Will you be my daddy some day?"__ _

___"No, I don't think so. I'm not really... the fathering type."_ _ _

___"Good. I have two already, and I don't want another."_ She fixated on a hanging flap of skin on her finger and bit at it, but she only painfully stretched and tore it clean to a place she wouldn't be able to pull it again with her teeth. She wrinkled her upper lip in pain. _"Why don't you want people to know that you love my daddy?"__ _

___"It... It's complicated, and you really don't need to worry about it. Like I said, you'll understand everything when you get older, but not now."_ _ _

___"But I want to understand things now, Uncle Clef! And, and I don't want my daddy to be sad."_ She threw her hands down on to the bed and gripped at the white linen in deep frustration._ _

___"I promise you, your daddy is very happy just the way we are. I wouldn't worry about it."_ _ _

__A billowing cloud of steam erupted from the bathroom door and filled the hotel room with blistering humidity, and Jack emerged from the cloud, wearing a soft pink bathrobe. His wet hair hung limply just past his chin, it's natural loose kink beginning to take shape under the heat of the room._ _

___"Did I miss something?"_ He called, somewhat shocked at the sight of his marginally calm daughter sat with the most energetic person he knew. _"Are you two finally making friends?"__ _

___"Somewhat."_ Alto replied, sparing Jack a mischievous grin. _"Good shower, honey?"__ _

___"Oh, it was heavenly! I recommend you take one yourself, Alto."_ _ _

___"I think I might do just that, darling."_ Alto glanced back at Jack, and stood up, advancing towards him. _"I told her, by the way."__ _

___"I see."_ Jack murmured, almost indistinct. _"Well, enjoy your shower."_ _ _

___"Must I shower now?"_ Alto whined, hanging over Jack. _ _

___"I'd like you to, yes."_ _ _

___"Don't you want to show me how to use it?"_ A brief blurt of opportunity filled the room, but it was politely declined by a hand pushing his head away._ _

___"I have to talk to my daughter."_ Jack passed Alto by and leapt around the corner, to see his daughter patiently waiting, sat on the white sheet and twiddling her tiny fingers. _"Hey."_ He crooned, slowly sitting down next to her. _"You alright?"__ _

___"No. I don't want you to go away."_ _ _

___"I don't want to go away either, but I have to."_ He put an arm around his daughter and kissed her on the head. _"You are the bravest little girl I know, and I know you can do this."_ _ _

___"I'll miss you if you go."_ _ _

___"I'll miss you too."_ Jack lifted a hand to his daughter's face, feeling sore, tender skin and scratches all over his daughter's cheek and temple. _"Hey, where'd all these scratches come from? Do you need me to put some bandaids on them?"__ _

___"There are scratches?"_ Jackie tilted her head in confusion. _ _

___"There are. Come on, we should clean them up, make sure they don't get infected."_ _ _

__By the time Jackie had felt the scratches on her cheeks, Jack was gone, having left to root around in his satchel at the other side of the room. The buttery tan leather stretched and sagged as his hands hit the edges, and seemingly, reams upon reams of clutter poured from the bag in handfuls as he pulled them out. The flooding of keys, wrappers and neatly sealed documents came to a halt as a small tin tumbled out, and Jack placed it neatly besides his slippered feet while he organised the mess that had accumulated in front of him from searching his bag._ _

__It took a few minutes to sort through the omnishambles, but by the time he was done, a pile of candy wrappers and empty bags of chips laid next to his satchel. He finished off by slipping a small, polished wooden box in to his bag with care, and he swept the tin in to his hands and walked towards his daughter with it._ _

___"I brought the one with the stars on it. I know you like those ones."_ _ _

__Jackie nodded at him, grasping the tin from her father's hands and lifting the rigid, cold lid for him. She shut her eyes tight as he rummaged in the tin for an appropriate bandaid and clasped her hands tight, feeling her sharp, straight fingernails and the dry ridges in them. She hated how they were almost tacky, but not quite. They had a lot of friction to them, and it bugged her._ _

__A soft, damp wipe, smelling like sweet lemons, was petted gently over her cheek, stinging slightly but not enough for her to cry. She bit at her lip instead, peeling a thin layer of skin off one small bite at a time._ _

__Though she loved her father, his closeness at this moment made her feel immensely stifled, almost unable to breathe, puffing out air intermittently through her nose with the added difficulty of the sniffles. An itch forced her to wrinkle it, and she twitched the moment the wipe was gone. She sighed a deep sigh outwards and braved herself for the sticky bandaid being pressed on to her cheek._ _

___"The more relaxed you are, the less it'll annoy you."_ Jack chimed, petting his daughter's wispy hair. _"Just sit tight."_ _ _

__Jackie twitched but relaxed, anyway, as the  bandaid pressed down on her sore skin. Jack pressed it down gently with two fingers and forced it flush by spreading it out._ _

___"All clean."_ He smiled and scooped Jackie in to his arms, the tin laid on the messy linen. _"Uncle Clef told me earlier that there's a balcony we can go sit out on, you wanna go look at the planes from there?"__ _

__Jackie stayed silent and ran her fingers over the dressing, the smooth plastic finally something not catching her sticky fingers on them._ _

___"I'm just thinking that maybe, it might be a little hard for you to go back to the restaurants, 'cause you weren't too happy there, were you?"_ Jack explained, rocking Jackie back and forth. _"And I think we'll get a better view of the planes from the balcony, too. I promise they won't be too loud."__ _

__Jackie shook her head. She didn't want to go and see the planes anymore, because she knew her daddy was leaving soon, and she didn't want to waste any time looking at planes when she could be giving him a hug._ _

___"Daddy, why didn't they tell you that you were going earlier?"_ _ _

___"When... my bosses say that we have to go and rewrite everything, it has to be done as soon as possible. They might have decided that it had to be done this morning, and they sent people out to get the people that work with me. I don't know why they do it so fast, it's just something they do."_ _ _

___"But what if someone is sick?"_ Jackie flicked at her bandaid and pushed her thick glasses up the bridge of her nose._ _

___"They still have to go, babygirl. It's just... the way it is. We have to follow orders."_ _ _

__Jack sat down on the bed, with Jackie on his lap, and drove through his drying scarlet hair with a thick brush, smoothing it's gentle kink before it sprung back up after the brush left._ _

___"Daddy, Uncle Clef said that you love each other. Is he your boyfriend? Like how you're mama's boyfriend?"_ _ _

__Jack was slightly taken aback by the question, but pulled the brush from his hair and began to drag it through Jackie's knotted hair, with a lot less ease than his own, though it was much shorter than his. He tugged and ragged through the endless thick knots, smoothing them out as he spoke._ _

___"I wouldn't say he's my boyfriend, but I do love him. You can't tell anyone, Jackie, do you promise?"_ _ _

___"He said that too. Is that why mama keeps leaving?"_ Jackie looked up at him, forcing him to take the brush out of her hair for a moment. _ _

___"To be honest, Jackie, I don't know why your mother keeps leaving. But she does love you, very much. We both do."_ He put the brush down by his side and ran his hands through the portion of hair he'd detangled._ _

___"She will come back, right?"_ _ _

___"Of course she will, but you have mommy, don't you? Mommy will take good care of you, she always does."_ He resumed brushing his daughter's hair, teasing out knots as carefully and gently as he could. _ _

___"Will mommy let me play in the observatory?"_ _ _

___"Of course she will! I'll ask her to tomorrow, okay? You should take more pictures for me, you've got a real eye for them. It'd make me very happy if I came home to my little girl's pretty pictures."_ _ _

__Jack brushed the rest of his daughter's knotty hair in silence, apart from the occasional grunt or groan from Jackie. When he was done, he tied her hair back with a small elastic and decorated her hair with small colourful clips in his pocket. He kissed her on the head and moved her from his lap._ _

___"I'm going to go phone your mommy, I need to talk to her about something. You'll be a good girl and stay here, won't you?"_ _ _

___"I wanna talk to mommy too. Does she know where mama is? I miss mama, daddy. She hasn't been home in a long time."_ She slipped off the bed sleekly and crowded her father's leg._ _

___"If you want to talk to mommy too, you can."_ _ _

___"When you're gone, will mommy let me play my record like you do?"_ _ _

___"Your mommy taught me how to use the record player, of course she will! You are going to have to be my brave girl, though, cause mommy has to go out in the day. Maybe I can set you up with your papa? He'll look after you for sure, if he's there."_ Jack mumbled. _ _

___"Mama's not coming back?"_ _ _

__Jack knelt down in front of his daughter and tried to smile comfortingly._ _

___"Mama's... I don't know what mama's doing. Mama and me... we're just in a rough spot. It'll all be better soon, I promise. I think all of us are in disagreement with each other, but mama decided the best thing to do was to leave. And that's okay. Sometimes, Jackie, the best thing to do is to leave."_ _ _

___"I thought you hurt her feelings because she yelled at you. Nobody told me anything but you said my name."_ _ _

___"Well, you know you're not like other little boys and girls, don't you? You need things that other people don't need, like how you need to wear sunglasses because you can't deal with really bright lights, or how you can't wear heavy clothes because they're too much for you."_ He paused for a moment and looked away. _"Yeah? I have a question. Jackie, are you happy?"__ _

___"No, because you're going away."_ _ _

__He shook his head with a smile on his face and a little drop of water from his hair landed on Jackie's glasses. She wiped it away and stared at him with confusion._ _

___"I mean... are you happy living where we do, and you're happy having school at home, and with family?"_ _ _

___"Yes."_ _ _

___"And me and mommy think that's what's best for you, too. But mama wants to give you the same childhood that all the other little boys and girls have, she really does mean well and she wants the best for you and you can't be angry at her for it. What she wants for you is something that would put you under a lot of distress, and she's trying to put it in to place without telling us, so we got very angry because she wasn't taking in to account what's best for you. We got in to a big, big argument about it and mama left. I know it scared you a lot, I'm really sorry. But that's what happened, that's why mama's gone, babygirl."_ Jack plucked his daughter from the ground and held her in his arms, and he hugged her tight and ran his fingers in her hair again. _"I promise it's not your fault, okay? Don't get that in to your head. It's adult things between adults. We all still love you very much and I'm sure we'll all love each other again soon, and our family will be back together again."__ _

__He spun around to the clunky telephone and began to dial in a number. It rang for a few moments before picking up. He held the receiver to his ear and held it in place with his shoulder while holding Jackie._ _

___"Evening, hon, it's Jack. You alright over there?"_ _ _

__Jackie wanted her mama back; she'd been gone for weeks now, and she'd left everything the way it was, so much so Jackie would go looking for her, and follow the same trail around the house searching for her, and finding her nowhere. She hadn't seen her, or spoken to her, or heard of where she was since the front door slammed and ended ear-burning screaming and shouting. Jackie had squinted out the window and seen her take off on her motorcycle, up the path to the small town some few miles down it and the highway not too far away from there._ _

__Earlier that day, she'd gotten a new record and it sat on the small portable table in her room, spinning idly after the needle had returned to its original spot. She wasn't too confident using the big record player, but her small one was good enough for her room and easy to use. She'd stared at it at length, wondering how the parents who had seemed so happy to give the record to her that morning were screaming at each other in hatred in the other room._ _

___"She's alright, she's just fine. Tired."_ Jack held his daughter's head up. _"I think we're all a little tired, hon. You want her on the phone?"_ _ _

__Jack pulled the phone from between his shoulder and head and gave it to his daughter, who held it to her ear gingerly._ _

___"Jackie? Are you alright, pumpkin?"_ The voice was muffled and tinny, but it was obviously her mommy on the other end. _"I know you're really sad about this whole thing."__ _

___"I don't want daddy to go away."_ _ _

___"I don't think any of us do, sweetheart. We're both gonna miss him, a lot. But he'll be back soon, I promise."_ There was an ample pause. _"Daddy had to do this before you were born, as well. I missed him a lot then, but he came back safe and sound, didn't he?"__ _

___"I think so."_ _ _

__She laughed down the phone. _"Of course he did! Now, Jackie-"__ _

___"Where did mama go?"_ Jackie blurted. The room was silent; even the whirr of the shower in the bathroom stopped. _"Please, mommy, I want her to come back!"__ _

___"I-"_ She stammered for a few moments before gaining her composure. _"Jackie, honey, mama's not going to be back for a long time. None of us know where she's gone, I'm really sorry. I think your daddy might be home by the time she comes back."__ _

___"Oh."_ _ _

___"I think it's time for daddy to put you to bed now, alright? Can you hand the phone over to him?"_ _ _

___"Yeah."_ Jackie dropped the phone and wriggled out of Jack's arms and ran away, over to the bed, and climbed up, and sat blankly alone on white linen, running her finger over a small tab of fabric attached to the sash on her dress. _ _

___"Look, hon, I can't talk, she's just- yeah. I should be with her."_ Jack's voice was hushed by its proximity to the receiver. _"I love you, babe. You... you sleep well, I'll see you tomorrow."_ _ _

__The phone hung up, and Jack joined his daughter at a crawling pace, sitting down next to her gently. He put an arm around her and let her cry. The soft sobs of his child, not looking for attention but trying to vent frustration and sadness, made him teary himself, and as she cried into his side he had to stifle his own tears._ _

___"Mama's gonna come back, Jackie. I promise you, she's gonna come back. Maybe not for a while. But she'll come back."_ Jack mumbled, burying his head into her hair. _"What's that song you like, huh? That other Kate Bush one. What was it, watching you without me? It's on your new record, isn't it?"__ _

__Jackie nodded silently, her arms wrapped around herself in a hug._ _

___"I'll sing it to you, Jackie. I'll sing it to you if it'll make you happy. Because I love you, you know that, don't you? Daddy'll always love you, and mama will when she comes back, and mommy loves you too, and papa loves you, and we'll all be one big happy family, together. I promise. And when I'm home, we'll take lots and lots of photos with the Cloudbuster, won't we?"_ _ _

___Slowly, he began to mumble the song to her, and he began to sing it quietly, seeing no need to muster anything much louder than a murmur._ _ _

______You can't hear me._  
_You can't hear me._  
_You can't hear what I'm saying._  
_You can't hear what I'm saying to you._ _

___The lyrics looped over and over in a circle, missing the soft, calming music, cutting off at bits he'd forgotten or didn't know how to sing, but he knew Jackie loved it all the same, and that she was calmed by it, and that hopefully, she'd sleep well tonight and help him rest before he had to leave tomorrow._ _ _

______You watch the clock move the slow hand._  
_I should have been home hours ago._  
_But I'm not here._  
_But I'm not here._ _

___At some point, the door opened and closed, and Alto left the two alone with the repeated song, the seemingly disembodied voice - for Jack's mind had left his body on autopilot a while ago - growing languorous and slow, and growing tired, and when he noticed Jackie had fallen over on to the bed, her sunhat knocked off her head, he took her tiny sandals off, took her coat off, and tucked her under the sheets before dressing himself in a huge t-shirt and laying behind her, and falling asleep._ _ _

___————————_ _ _

____"And you'll be a good girl for mommy and papa, won't you?"_ _ _ _

___Through tears, Jackie nodded, trying to seem strong, and like she wasn't crying, but the way she had covered her face with a napkin could have caused some doubt within certain people._ _ _

____"Good, good. I promise I'm gonna call you as often as they'll let me, alright? And I'll send you letters and presents. I'll be back before Christmas. Maybe not as fast as I'd like to come home, but I'll be back before then."_ Jack held one of his daughter's small hands, freshly picked at and bitten down. In fact, he noticed a brand new set of scratches down her cheek, but he didn't really have the time to fix her wounds up right now._ _ _

____"I think we have to let daddy go now, honey. We don't want him to miss his flight, he'll get in lots of trouble at work."_ Jackie's mother, more specifically, her mommy, knelt down besides her daughter to hold her hands. _"Go on, give him a cuddle!"__ _ _

___Jackie tumbled into her father's arms and latched her hands together over his neck, before he kissed her on the head._ _ _

____"Final call to board Flight 72619 to Paris."_ The tannoy screamed out before a chiming call knocked it away._ _ _

____"I have to go now, Jackie. I love you very much."_ Jack smiled and stood up, leaving his daughter on the floor, where she hid behind her mother's leg. He kissed Jackie's mother on the lips and hugged her quickly. _"I love you, too. Please look after my baby for me, hon."__ _ _

____"Of course I will, pumpkin."_ _ _ _

____"And, you'll let her in the observatory? It'll help keep her calm, just monitor her on the stairs."_ _ _ _

____"How about I fix those stairs so she can go up there on her own?"_ _ _ _

____"Bring up snacks, at least?"_ Jack fiddled with the light green wool on his vest._ _ _

____"Of course I will. I'm her mom."_ She smiled and petted Jack on the head, eliciting a nervous giggle from him. _"You should go, alright? I got Jackie. She's going to be just fine."__ _ _

____"Okay, okay. Jackie, I love you. I love you a lot. Behave for your mommy, I'll be back soon."_ _ _ _

___Jack hesitated for a moment before turning around, holding the strap of his satchel, and walking off, over to the gate. Jackie couldn't help but notice the way his and Clef's hand linked the moment they were together, but then her mommy held her hand and pulled her away and over to the exit._ _ _

____"I don't wanna leave."_ Jackie mumbled, fiddling with the tab on her dress. _ _ _

____"I know. But we've got cookies at home! I baked them fresh this morning, pumpkin. They're still nice and warm and gooey on the inside, just the way you like them."_ _ _ _

____"Well, okay."_ Jackie nodded, and held her mother's hand as they navigated their way out the airport._ _ _

_______But every time it rains,_  
_You're here in my head,_  
_Like the sun coming out,_  
_Ooh, I just know that something good is gonna happen,_  
_I don't know when,_  
_But just saying it could even make it happen._

_______On top of the world, looking over the edge,_  
_You could see them coming,_  
_You looked too small,_  
_In their big black car,_  
_To be a threat to the men in power._

_______I hid my yo-yo,_  
_In the garden,_  
_I can't hide you,_  
_From the government._  
_Oh, God, Daddy,_  
_I won't forget._

_______'Cause every time it rains,_  
_You're here in my head,_  
_Like the sun coming out,_  
_Ooh, I just know that something good is gonna happen,_  
_I don't know when,_  
_But just saying it could even make it happen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not gonna be able to update for a while because I’ve got upcoming exams I really want to do well in, and there is absolutely nothing in my drafts after this, so due to studying I can’t write as often as I’d like to. I also have drama pracs and something in English Language coming up soon. Expect something probably around November-time, possibly a little earlier, maybe later as it’s gonna be a big chapter. I’m running low on ideas for flashbacks, honestly.


	9. Chapter Nine: Present Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alto and Jackie go on a hunt for a missing Jack, but just so happen to get a little distracted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the story is going somewhere oooh yeahhhhhh... also i have an active plan now, the fic is goign to be FINISHED by like, february (a whole year after i started writing it, hahhahahahahahhahhhahahaha) please. for the love of the lord enjoy this.

Six weeks passed as Jackie felt cold, in a way; she felt very cold, and she felt like she'd lost something very important forever, even though Jack did come back, and she knew he would come back. But the memories remained a blur, like she'd been submerged underwater and forced to look. It felt endless. It felt like he'd never come back, and she was lonely without him, and she missed him.

Jack had come back, as promised, right before Christmas, returning with gifts and hugs, and he smelled the way he smelled whenever he came back from a business trip - kind of, cologne-y, and sort of, familiar, but far away at the same time.

By the time he was back she'd played her record to oblivion, to the point where it looked as if it'd fall apart if she played it any more. She'd been so lonely without him, and she found enough comfort in the song he'd sing to her every night to stay afloat. He'd brought her something peculiar to replace it, something he called a 'compact disc,' and in her life, which had been so far spent in the rural Californian countryside, she'd never seen a music player so strange. Her daddy claimed that the odd machine would never stop playing her music, and it would never break so long as she took care of the CD, which was like a smaller record with one shiny edge, and one with a pattern on it. She'd place the CD in, shiny side down, and then it'd play her music.

While he was gone, she'd done a few things to cope. She'd climbed the stairs to the observatory, dragging her four records and player up with her, and she catalogued the sky in her own little way. She filled up a little leather notebook - that had belonged to Jack some time ago, full of diagrams of constellations and the anatomy of stars, and dates he'd seen strange lights in the sky - with pictures of the sky she learnt to develop at the little station in the corner. She stuck them in the book and underneath, stuck the coordinates and information. There were little cuts strips, in the paper where she'd misjudged where to snip her scissors, but the photos were stuck in fine.

When the sky darkened, Jackie would take her record player and her records down the twisting observatory stairs and she would walk through the dusky, freshly ploughed and planted fields, and she'd go home to dinner with her mom and her father - who was nice enough, but dipped in and out of her life too - and then she would leave the table, head upstairs, and sleep in Jack's bed. It helped, surprisingly. It helped a lot, because when she was in that dreamworld between asleep and awake, it was like he was there with her. His pillow was big, just about big enough for him to seem just a little bit real to Jackie. She would run her fingers over the purls on his sheets and scratch them, whirling the offcuts around her finger. She wasn't meant to sleep in Jack's bed, not without him, anyway, because he had his things she wasn't meant to know about like his documents and his necklace, but her mom turned a blind eye, even sat on the edge of the bed to wake her up in the morning.

But she still missed him, of course, even if she did all she could while waiting for him to come back. Some days, she'd just sit in front of the door and wait for him to come home, playing with bugs she found on the floor. The mailman became somewhat wary of her when he cane around, because she'd run up to the mesh door and fumble to open it every time she was waiting for Jack, and just look at him disappointedly when he inevitably wasn't Jack. As you do.

The day he came back, she couldn't let go of him. She'd gone to sleep in his bed, her record playing and close to breaking, and she woke up to see him asleep, curled up on the edge of the bed with his clothes still on, his satchel on the floor and his shoes still on the bed. She'd taken them off and tried as hard as she could to tuck him in to bed, though she was still small and he was heavy and hard to roll from the sharp springs at the side to the soft core of the mattress. But he slept a few hours more before jerking sharply upwards and scaring Jackie awake, something he apologised profusely for before laying back down to hug her. He was back.

Even her mama was back that day. It was like her whole family was fixed, just for a few days before there was more arguing and mama left again, but hell, at least daddy was back, and he was going to stay for a while. Every cloud has a silver lining.

Right now, she was pacing around Alto's office and had stopped, standing on the couch.

"Where's daddy?" She flashed wide eyes at him, most of her energy returned. She felt like she could have climbed up a wall if she was just a little more sticky. "He should be back by now, you were back by now."

"Jack has problems, we all know this. How often do you pace aimlessly around a room? Is this a normal you thing, or do you just not like me? I mean, we can work with that if you don't, but I'd like to think after knowing me your whole life you at least like me a little, right? It's, it's okay if you don't, but-"

"Parenting isn't something you can pull off, Uncle Alto."

"Now hang on, I do have a daughter, and she's a little older than you are, so I'm doing something right." He folded his pale, almost grey arms and leant back against his desk, his patent oxford tapping on the carpet.

"I have a sister?"

"I mean, I don't know if I'd consider myself much more than an uncle to you, y'know? Maybe one day. I don't know, do you see me as a step-dad? Or even a dad?"

"No, but I can get behind the idea of having a sister." Jackie dropped down onto the couch and fiddled with her fingers.

"Aw, that's cute. Maybe you're a little young to decide who you want for parents yet."

"I would if I had less dads. I don't want three dads."

"Yeah, I guess. And, you'd have to come up with another name, and... hey, you don't talk about me dating your dad often. Is that what you were thinking about while you were pacing?" He rose from his lean and paced over towards Jackie, sitting down next to her. He thought that maybe, if she couldn't view him as a father figure, they could at least be friends, and that was important to him. He did care about her an awful lot.

"Maybe."

"You don't have to lie, it's okay if you were. Jack said he wants us to be close because I'm as much family as your mommy, y'know?"

"They were arguing again last night, Uncle Clef." Jackie mumbled. "Down in the kitchen. They've been doing this thing where they tell me to go look after the twins and then they argue downstairs when they think I can't hear. Mama yelled at me for swearing last night, too. But I can't stop doing it." Jackie shyly admitted and hid her face from the rest of the room. The much taller man next to her petted her back gently, an action that was thankfully not met with repulsion.

"Well, that's the thing about you. You're special and you need certain allowances that your mother isn't taking in to account. That's what your daddy and her are arguing about, I think."

"Everyone keeps saying I'm special, but I'm not."

"You are special, because you're Jackie. Maybe not to a lot of people, but definitely to me and your daddy, I can tell you that." Alto took his hand away, afraid to overstay his welcome touching her. He was afraid of her to some degree, because she could swear like a sailor.

"I don't want to go to school, Uncle Clef. That whole kindergarten thing was awful, when I bit someone's finger, like you said - I think it was over a book he had or something."

"I don't reckon he remembers you bit him, champ. That was a long time ago now, you were only five. I don't think even you remember much of being five." He consoled.

"I remember when mama left for the first time. And then when you and daddy went on rewrite. That's what I was thinking about." 

"Oh, I remember that! Didn't I fix your record player for you? I had to swap the cartridge because it was cheap, and absolutely destroyed your vinyl."

"Yeah. I was sad without him." She looked up at him with a frown. "I missed him a lot."

"Don't worry, Jackie, we shouldn't have another one until you're nineteen or twenty, so you shouldn't worry about him going away again. I've purposely given the Site less work since; the entire thing's a hassle, it's never organised right, and it would be better if I just didn't have to go. You'll have to go one day, y'know. Preferably in my place. I think you'd like it a lot more than me and your dad do." He watched the small girl flick at the patch on her lab coat.

"Maybe."

"I think when you're older, an adult, you might not need your dad as much. I think you'll enjoy it then."

"I think I'm gonna need him forever."

"Do you?" Alto raised an eyebrow and pouted, but he understood to some degree. He'd been very close to his mother when he'd been young, and he felt as if he'd always need her, until he'd grown out of it years later. He knew it was going to take her a little longer, and that was okay.

"Yup. He's never gonna be shot of me."

"Then I hope you like me, too." He laughed with a smile, but he wasn't sure if she understood the joke.

"Love like that doesn't last forever, though."

"Well, I love him a lot, just like you do. I know it's been hard at home with your mother, but I promise I won't argue with your dad. Love is only really like that when it doesn't work, and a relationship, well, you both have to love each other very much, and you have to want to love each other, and me and Jack are like that."

"Trust daddy's boyfriend to be kinder than my own mom." Jackie rolled her eyes and rested her head in her hands. "Why are adults like that?"

"Adults often don't know what they really want from life, and they can make decisions they don't really consider the consequences of." Alto smiled at his friend with a knowing look in his eyes, despite the fact she wasn't looking at them, and couldn't see them through his mask. Still, it was there, and it made him feel better about the situation. "It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, either, don't worry. People are really confusing."

"It feels like they haven't been here for ages, Uncle Alto. It's like daddy's whole soul has been taken up by this stupid argument they're having."

"Do you want me to tell him that? So he knows to spend more time with you, of course."

"Wouldn't that hurt his feelings?"

"No, I think he'd understand. And I won't tell him it was you that said it if you don't want me to."

"Would you tell him?" Jackie asked, looking up at him with hope.

"I will, alright?" Alto vowed, and looked at the time. "Do you want some juice? I've got some cold juice in my refrigerator."

"No, I'm okay." Jackie chirped, seeming a lot happier than she had before.

"Well, if you do, then let me know. No skin off my back, y'know? And, until your dad's back, I have to look after you. Is there anything you want?"

"No, I'm okay. I just want my daddy back."

"He has been gone a while, maybe he's gone to the canteen. Should we go find him?" Alto proposed, preparing himself to stand up. The little girl to his side nodded in approval, and he extended a silk-coated hand for her to grab.

She held it gingerly - though, thankfully, it wasn't as sweaty as she had anticipated - and he lead her from the spacious loveseat to the elevator and allowed her to push the button for the canteen herself. The elevator shot down and she yelped, but someone's grip on her hand helped calm her down before the contraption grinded to a shuddering halt. The hydraulic door chugged open and Alto guided the child out, looking both ways before taking her down a hallway. It was deep and clinical, and seemed to go on forever before sloping downwards.

"Are you scared?" Alto had sensed her unrest, and stopped before looking back to comfort her. She was shivering, and she looked around shiftily. "We'll find him soon, don't worry."

She nodded again, and he turned back down the hall and lead her again; Jackie suddenly noticed there was a lot more noise, and it was much warmer, and Jackie knew she was going to see her father soon. Alto peeked around a corner filled with light, and Jackie followed, to reveal a congregational room full of people, eating, drinking, buying food and talking. The tall man above Jackie searched the swarms of researchers for Jack, but to no avail.

"Clef, what are you doing with that kid?" A gruff voice revealed itself from behind. Jackie hid herself behind Alto and continued to hold his hand, but he shook it away from her. She couldn't figure it out right away, but she understood when she looked up at the dark figure above her.

"Bright took that one joke in the senior breakroom too far. This is Jackie, his daughter."

"Of course, her name is Jackie. How did she get in here?" The man interrogated Alto, though Alto didn't break his confident composition and stood with his chest up, his hands behind his back. Jackie held on to a finger, and while it didn't quite fill her hand it was at least somewhat comforting.

"She's Jack's daughter. She's bound to work here someday, I figure she can be trusted now, she's doomed." Alto mused blandly and squeezed the child's hand. "He dumped her on me when he went to see Glass, have you seen him anywhere?"

"No, but you can try Sub-Level Three. He's got his eye on something and I know he's going to make a lot of money off it if he plays it right, he's going to want to be down there."

"I'll check there, thank you." Alto nodded at the rugged man and exchanged a handshake with him, his hand strangely warm for once. This time, he let go of Jackie's hand and had her follow him instead, through a corridor that seemed even longer than the first.

She struggled to keep up with him without falling over her own two feet, when suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks and took her hand again; he knew that the coast was now clear. He chaperoned her to the next elevator, and pushed her in quickly before slapping his access card on the wall and keying in the password for the sub-level. Jackie tried not to look, but she struggled to keep her eyes covered. Maybe just one peek at it would be fine.

Alto stood upright as the elevator slowly descended, much to Jackie's delight. He took a few moments of looking stoic before realising that it was going to take a while, and he swivelled his head towards his small companion with a smile. Taken aback, he noticed a nasty cut on her face that hadn't been there a few minutes before, and he knelt on one knee to attend to it.

He pulled a small tin from his pocket, flipped the attached lid and swept out a small, wrapped disinfectant wipe, of which he gently daubed her throbbing cheek with to clear away the tiny streams of blood dashing from it at every opportunity. He then applied a band-aid, silently, and trying not to touch her face. She thought it very much appreciated, and she did something he'd never expected her to do; hug him.

Though Alto was shocked at first - because Jackie had never hugged him before - he quickly acclimatised to it and hugged her back. It didn't last long, only a couple of moments, but both were happy to have done it. Jackie let go, and Alto resumed his original position as the elevator finally reached its final resting place and opened to reveal what could only really be described as a speakeasy. People looked at her, stared, even, as Alto herded her across the sprawling room, and she felt like rocks were dropping from the ceiling straight on to her shoulders. She had the urge to hide under his leg again, but that wouldn't stop the stares from every which way bombarding her like bullets.

Alto eased his way to a table and pulled up a stool for Jackie to sit on, of which he helped her up on to. He sat himself, flicked his hand at another researcher, and a drink was thrown his way.

"Where's my daddy?" Jackie implored him, but to no avail; a large man had intercepted the two of them.

"Director Clef, you have unfinished business to attend to." The beast growled, pulling Alto away from the chair by his collar the way she would have the glass.

"...Fuck." Alto murmured, both looking the way of his now spilled whiskey and the monster he was in the grasp of. "Jackie, if you want your father, you go over to the betting table."

The beast carted her guide away, and she stepped down from the stool to look for this so called 'betting table,' and she found herself pulling on the lab-coat of an adult to ask.

"Jack?" The woman scratched her strawberry-blonde hair, looking down at the small girl. "That can't be you?"

"M-m-my dad, h-his name, is, is Jack." Jackie chastised herself for not being able to hold back her stutter. It was a new person, she could barely speak, but this was worse than grunting, she thought.

"Aw, did he lose you?"

"Where's the, the betting table?" Less stutters - somewhat adequate. Of course, it would be better without those stutters entirely, but this was a start.

"You mean the board? It's over there, sweetie." The woman smiled, petting the small girl on the head, but she was simultaneously pointing at a green board through many crowds of people. "Are you looking for Jack?"

"Yes! I, I can't find him. Where did he go?"

"I don't know, but that board sounds like a good place to start."

Jackie nodded and walked away, bracing herself to deal with the impenetrable walls of people, armed to the teeth with social cues and smiles she didn't know how to return. Maybe there weren't that many, but it felt like there was definitely a lot, many more than there should have been to be sure.

She plucked her little cassette player from her pocket, held down the rewind button for a minute and slipped both her headphones on. It was that song, the same one that her father had left her to, and he was gone again now. She held both sides of her lab coat up from the floor and she crossed the linoleum, all on her own, without anyone holding her hand. She dodged one swooping lab coat and fell victim to another invading droop of fabric until the deep green board came in to her direct view. From what she could tell, nobody was looking, or pointing or laughing, and she was doing well.

With a deep breath and a few more steps, she was there, and she lifted herself up into the wooden chair next to the board, filled with writings she couldn't understand and didn't have the drive to look at. She was here now, so where was Jack? Surely he had to come soon. She looked around, for the cheap wooden chair seemed like a vantage point, but she couldn't see a single lock of red hair - other than her own, of course, which had somehow ended up sticky and had flattened to her forehead. She re-adjusted her excessive setup of pins and clips to keep it well away from her face.

She felt strong and powerful, and all she had done was cross a room on her own, with nobody to hold her hand. It seemed like an achievement to her, one that could barely be outshone. But Jack wasn't there, and his absence felt like a gaping hole in her built up psyche.

She slid one side of her headphones away from her ear, just in case Jack was there, tucked someplace out of view and talking to her, but she couldn't hear his voice, neither could she hear anything similar to it. She was starting to feel seriously sorry for herself; where could he have gotten to? Had he forgotten about her?

Her thoughts rambled and screamed as she waited for him to come, but it didn't seem like he was, and she was greatly distressed. Alto hadn't come to collect her... had he forgotten about her, too? Was there a person that hadn't forgotten about Jackie today? He was over in a big group of people with cards in his hands, being crowded over and sneered at and cheered for. She couldn't imagine how he must have felt with all those people around, but he suddenly cheered with a riveting flourish and jumped up in the air, someone begrudgingly handing him a thick stack of money.

There was suddenly much more confusion, a horde of screams, and Alto bolted across the room, scooped up Jackie and plunged into a corner, and in the commotion, her vision went dark.


	10. Chapter Ten: Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack recalls the day he lost his young daughter in a mall, and the day the secrecy of his lover was jeopardised.

"Daddy!" A loud, excited word had awoken Jack, and his three year old daughter had climbed his lap like it was equipment at the park, pulling at his loose shirt and hair, which now covered her hands - which, oddly, didn't infuriate him - instead reminding him of the way toddlers, especially his, often pull out chunks of turf and grass with their bare hands in the summer.

He had fallen asleep for a nap in the summer sun, and awoken twice as sunburnt but well rested, and somewhat surprised nobody had pushed him under the shade while he was asleep. There was a gaping hole in his sunburn where his book had been, which Jackie had pulled off indiscriminately, causing searing pain to his 'sunkissed' thighs, but it was nice to know he was loved.

"You're tanned!" Caroline walked by, thick green hose in her hands, stifling a laugh at the lobster in the chair with a toddler on his lap. "Nice and even, too, how'd you fall asleep without glasses on?"

"I... thought I might tan, but apparently I was mistaken. You know how this body is, Caroline."

"Like a baby!" She announced, then pointed to Jackie, unable to sit still in his lap. "Both of you need to go to the mall, I need some things, and they have air con."

Jackie dashed off in to the house like a whip at the word 'mall' almost as fast as Caroline had said it, Jack neck cricking trying to watch her.

"What do you need? I thought you went shopping yesterday?"

"You need something to calm that skin of yours, and that little girl needs a pool or she isn't sleeping tonight."

"We have a pool. Isn't it in the garage?" Jack interjected. He was trying to sound intelligent, but it just came off as a little lazy in his own head.

"The chickens got in and pecked it to bits. It was on its way out, anyway, I was going to ask you to get a new one this year."

"What kinda pool?"

"You know what, Jack? Get one of the big ones, we'll teach her how to float." Caroline shook the thick green hose in her hand, trying to work through the blockage. With a smash against the concrete, a gush of mud and water rocketed from the golden tip. The mud filtered out for a few moments before the water became crystal clear.

"That idea's going to sink like a rock with her, hon." Jack sighed, and noticed a calm water spray over his feet. He threw his head back and smiled, his head still hot but his legs nice and cool.

"Well, you can swim too. I just think she'll like to have a big pool, and she can get in it when she's ready."

"I... guess. I suppose I'll have to be the one to hold her up while she's still opposed to the idea."

"You bet, pumpkin!"

"Ah, I should get going. It'll take some time to set it up, I should get it quickly."

"No, you've got to wait for Jackie."

"What, is she choosing it?" He looked back up, also having noticed the soothing trickle of water had gone missing.

"No, I just want to get her out and about, y'know? You can't keep her in the house all day long when she's like this, she'll break something!"

"You're right, I'll wait. Should I feed her while we're out, or are you gonna make her something?"

"Eh, kill two birds with one stone and feed her. It won't do any harm." Caroline was now watering her own feet, and seemingly enjoying it herself, and though she didn't burn like Jack and just got darker in the summers, she wanted a pool herself.

"Alright, food, pool, and..."

"Aloe vera! It'll fix your skin."

"I'm used to it, hon." Jack smiled patiently and stood up from his post, his legs feeling weak and ready to collapse. He felt melded to the chair, and as he stood up he was scared it'd stick to him and fall away in strings, but thankfully it didn't. He now had strange markings on his thighs where the cheap metal bars had compressed them, leaving the pale skin unburnt by the sun, but instead burnt by the heat that the metal had absorbed.

"I feel bad, though. I moved you when you fell asleep, but you were already burnt as hell."

"It's okay, hon." They became close, by means Jack didn't quite know how to describe, but suddenly they were close and Jack was blushing - though, it was unnoticeable through his horrible sunburn.

"Still, sorry."

"Sorry doesn't make me look any less like a lobster." Jack chuckled

"Okay, lobster-boy." Caroline affectionately petted him, though tried not to touch him too hard in fear of hurting his seared skin.

Jackie pulled him away, having made a wardrobe change in record time. Her shoes were on the wrong feet, but, hell, her head and her arms were in all the right holes. Jack knelt down on the wet grass below him and adjusted it, but he decided her shoes should be fine until they got there, and she didn't do an awful lot of walking so much as she did getting carried by him. Though, she might have to walk herself when he had to carry some huge box to the car.

"Ready to go, baby?" He asked, raising his burnt knees from the emerald grass below. "We gotta go now."

"You're red." Jackie pulled on the edges of her dress and swirled in circles, waiting for Jack to pick her up. He'd been right, definitely; she'd taken so long to get the little sandals on to her feet but didn't want to walk in them.

"Yeah, I'm a lobster." Begrudgingly, he picked her up, her squirmy form causing his skin to tingle and pull uncomfortably, but after a moment she stopped squirming in his arms and remained still as he walked around the garden to the front of the house, slipping his loose shoes on and swiping the car keys from the concrete steps leading up to the door.

He opened the door to his car and slipped the little girl into the front, tucking her in with a seatbelt and getting himself in the other side. Jackie had closed the door herself, unaware Jack could get in there anyway. She laughed upon seeing him again, and Jack started the car, pulling from the small patch of gravel the car was parked on before riding down the hill, a journey Jackie always enjoyed immensely. She cheered out before resuming her burning gaze on the window to her left. She marvelled at the trees passing by, but in the heat, the tiny thing fell asleep as quickly as Jack looked back at her.

Okay, sure. She could fall asleep if she wanted to, but it was going to be hell when she woke up, especially as her shoes were on the wrong feet.

He simply stared ahead and drove down the gravel.

===========================

Jack had arrived, and successfully found a parking space, and Jackie was still asleep, and he honestly wished she would stay asleep, but he knew she was soon to wake up. He checked her temperature to find she was burning, and he reached over to rescue her from the warm seat in a hug, carrying her out the car and through the busy parking lot, his skin burning more in the summer sun. At some point in the strait, she woke up and looked around, confused, but didn't cry. She slapped his back repeatedly, but didn't scream.

She was asking to be put down, he was fairly sure, so he let her down and held her hand tightly. It didn't take long before she was whinging and whining about her shoes, stamping on the ground. Jack felt so disassociated in the scorching heat he could barely hear her, and instead he scooped her up again, much to her kicking, squirming dismay, and he stumbled inside the mall; where his head finally came back to him, and he was able to plonk his daughter down on a bench to rearrange her little sandals and keep her whining at bay. She wriggled uncomfortably as he fixed her shoe-situation, but he had to admit that it was a lot better than walking around with shoes on the wrong feet.

Jack sat down next to his daughter in her rightfully arranged footwear, inspecting just how bad her sunburn was. She was red in all the wrong places, her little shoulders and half of her face red as apples. She looked up at him in annoyance, the sunburn obviously already getting to her, despite the fact she'd only been awake a few minutes.

It was funny, he thought, because children were supposed to grow out of that phase where they got angry after napping quite quickly - yet, Jackie never had, and she'd done it since she was very small. Even when she was the smallest of babies, she refused to take bottles and threw things with gusto when she'd only recently awoken. She had such a fierce temper on her, and he was partially glad, because he knew she'd always get her way later on in life. The drawback was that it was highly likely she'd be the most annoying teenage girl to ever exist and never cease moaning and bitching, but, hell, he'd burn that bridge when he came to it. Maybe she'd mellow out as she got older.

Right now, she was sat with her head tilted towards the glass roof, soaking up the air conditioning that filtered out above her. It was the calmest he'd seen her all day, because even when she'd been asleep in the car, she was still squiggling like a worm under her seatbelt. She seemed at peace now she'd been cooled down by some godlike force.

"Where do you wanna eat?" He pulled on her loosened hand to rouse her from her air-con-induced reverie but she didn't respond. It was a good thing that he knew exactly how to make her pay attention. "Do you want a pretzel?"

The P-Word (which had become Caroline's personal downfall) was only to be used in emergencies, but Jack was able to get her a pretzel right now, and he knew she was going to enjoy it, too. He just had to hope that she wouldn't go blabbering about them when they'd gotten home, because oh, he'd get in so much trouble with Caroline, not to mention the reactions of his boyfriend and Jackie's mother, both of which were out on business right now, but if Jackie were to get in some kind of p-word induced outburst they'd be hearing about baked goods from the perspective of an energetic little girl for the next several days, maybe even a few weeks.

Jack immediately regretted the situation he'd gotten himself in to, but Jackie seemed happy enough, and was responding and even jumping up and down all around him in optimistic hope for her favourite salty food. She had a different palate for every day, it seemed, and Jack had hit the jackpot today.

He had no choice but to stand up and be dragged, with as much force as a three year old could possibly muster in her tiny arms - though, she had been helping Caroline out in her own little way and seemed stronger than ever - to a pretzel stand in the middle of the mall. But at some point, blinded by the technological miracle of air-con, he noticed Jackie was pulling him in the wrong direction, and had even let go of his hand, to instead run towards someone else, that someone being an Alto Clef, and his then-girlfriend, Sabrine.

Alto noticed who was behind him, trying to catch up with him. His 'friend's' daughter, an angry toddler that scared him more often than not. Well, actually, he thought little Jackie was alright, if not the most energetic thing he'd ever seen. But there were certain facades to be kept up, and certain promises to keep.

"Hey, kiddo. You here with your dad?" Alto smiled patiently at the small girl, who had appeared out of left field. Jackie only babbled in response, happy to see someone familiar.

"... Jack's daughter, right?" Sabrine looked at her boyfriend, who was kneeling down to talk to the strange new child.

"Yeah." Alto nodded, looking up as Jack approached gingerly.

"Sorry, bad timing." Jack breathed, seizing his daughter from the ground. It wasn't her fault this had become awkward, but Jack was put on edge by the encounter. Sabrine shot Jack a possessive look, pertaining to Alto, who uncomfortably shifted away from her. Now Jack was here, he felt like a liar in her presence. He knew very much who he loved more, but he could never bring himself to admit that to anyone, not even Jack. "Come on, Jackie, we gotta go get a pretzel."

"Wait, no, we can go get a pretzel too." Alto intervened before Jack could walk away. "Y'know, I don't see much of a problem with doing that. I want a pretzel."

"Alto, I told you-" Sabrine pulled back one of his arms to try and distract him.

"Well, if you're not coming it's fine, but I want a pretzel too. I think you forget that Jackie is my goddaughter."

"Do what you want." Sabrine folded her arms and glared at him, but Alto didn't react in the way she wanted him to and instead began to scamper away.

"Bye, babe!" He called as he caught up with his secret lover and the little girl he was holding. "What's 'pretzels' code for again, honey?"

"Pretzels isn't code for anything. I'm going to feed Jackie a pretzel, because she's hungry."

"Oh." He'd been sure they were going on some kind of assignation, and that Jack had been signalling, but he clearly hadn't. Still, he enjoyed Jack's company.

"Alto, if you're so unhappy with her, why don't you just break up with her?"

"I like you more. I realise it whenever you're around and I can't stop myself." Alto shyly admitted, stopping for a moment as the two passed around a corner leading to the escalator downwards, to the bottom of the mall, where the pretzel place was. Jackie looked over at it excitedly, squinting through her thick baby glasses, and bounced in Jack's arms.

"It feels wrong that you're lying to her, Alto. At least Caroline and the others somewhat know what me and you are doing. She doesn't know and she deserves to have some kind of, I don't know... closure!"

"She knows, she just doesn't like it. That's why she's keeping me away from you." Alto hissed, shaking his fists beneath his hips, clenched tightly like bricks in a wall.

"She's not 'keeping you' from me, Alto, she's just suspicious. I know I'd be suspicious if my boyfriend came home smelling like anyone else!"

"She'd fucking kill me if she found out, Jack."

"Then break up with her before she does! It just feels wrong for you to so blatantly lie to her and be so dismissive."

"I kinda... want her to break up with me herself. Because then she doesn't feel like I did it because..."

"Because what, Alto?" Jack broke up the indecisiveness with his short, choppy words and Alto's ribcage retracted at the punch of a sentence.

"Because I lied." Alto looked away - guilt always had the worst way of rearing its head whenever Jack told him off, and it would show in his hands and his shoulders, knotting together like shoelaces whenever Jack's voice raised by a single degree.

"So, you know that you're lying and yet you still don't think you should come clean?"

"I know I should come clean about it, but I'm having trouble finding how I should do it, and I'm scared of hurting her."

Jack replied with an exasperated sigh and a roll of his eyes. Alto could be downright hopeless at times, and he had no stable moral compass whenever approached from angles he didn't anticipate, neither any kind of explanation for his actions. Sometimes, Jack thought he was controlled by some kind of hamster wheel spinning fantastic tales in his head at all times.

But he loved him, and he couldn't deny himself that, even if he was pissed off by their current situation. He knew Alto would come clean some day, even if it broke Sabrine's heart, and Jack thought it was maybe a better option to let their relationship be, and end the conversation just the way they had. It wasn't his, even if he did feel responsible for its downfall.

Jackie wriggled for freedom, slid down her father like a wet streetlamp and scrambled frantically towards the open-plan pretzel place; a large enough phenomena to have attracted a little more than pretzels, as well as neon seating and a slushie machine. Jack sighed with a familiar parental tone, but didn't chase or hurry after, for his hand had silently linked with Alto's under the cover of a thousand more people. It was a wonder he hadn't lost his daughter in the tumbling commotion.

She found herself an empty table and crawled up the chair with all her might, but Alto had to help her up from the ground and onto the chair. Jack had gone missing, presumably to go fetch pretzels for the rest of the group, and maybe a drink. He sat across from the small child, but didn't delight her with any kinds of small talk; she never replied to him unless it was her that had made the first babble, even if she did look at him after he spoke with the utmost confusion (a rare occurrence, a sight to behold, even.) Had she been looking at him, this would have been much more awkward.

"Alright, baby, I got you a pretzel and one of those ice things you really like." Jack slid a wrapped pretzel and a huge drink over the table, and Jackie stared at them in awe, somewhat confused by the food in front of her, despite the fact she'd eaten it several times before. "Alto, would you watch her for me? I gotta go to the bathroom."

"Yeah, sure, I can look after her." Alto agreed hastily, and watched intently as Jack ran away. His hidden eyes glossed over the storefronts ahead, but not on the little girl in front of him.

Jackie, inundated with choice, decided to drink first, and quickly lapped up the icy concoction that had been plonked in front of her with fury, before realising she had made a deathly mistake. She had forgotten the unrivalled anger of brain-freeze, and as her head seized and cramped she whimpered and slid away from the seat, running as fast as she possibly could until the horrible feeling left her.

Now, Jackie was alone, and she was lost in a sea of warm people and broken AC. Her first instinct was to run away from all the new people, though she wasn't sure where she had come from in the first place.

===========================

Alto was in a horrible position. He was the one that had lost the baby. He had not only lost the baby, but the baby wasn't even his, and Jack wasn't letting him forget it. They were both sat, anxious in the office of the mall's manager, waiting patiently for his return.

Jack, for one, felt like he'd been engulfed by the flames of hell itself. He had left for just a moment and she had run off, and what's worse, he'd trusted someone else to look after her. What a failure he was! He couldn't focus, he felt like he was being drowned, and sure, it sounded stupid, but he was terrified for the safety of his little girl. She couldn't take herself to an information desk, she didn't know how to find him, and she was probably so scared without anyone she knew around. She could be screaming, but he'd listened as hard as he could, and he couldn't hear her.

He was rigid with fear, his shoulders knotted together, head in his hands, pulling at his hair with fervor. A horrible stomach ache had set in, and he cramped and curled up in pain. Every time Alto tried to touch him, he shied away. Alto moved his chair closer to try and cuddle him, to soothe him, but Jack wouldn't let him.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, guilt building in the bottom of his lungs. "It was only a second, she was there and then she wasn't."

Jack sighed. "You said."

"I know, I know, but I'm sorry, Jack, I didn't mean to. I just got, distracted by something, and it's all my fault."

"It is!" Jack snapped his head from his hands. "You should have been watching her, you know how slippery she is!"

"I'm sorry, Jack!"

"You should be!" Jack whimpered, starting to cry.

"She'll be back soon! It's all gonna be okay. I promise, she'll be okay, who's gonna hurt her? She's only little, someone will find her." Despite Alto's pleads, Jack was still crying, tears running down his arms. This time, he let Alto hold him, but not tightly enough to calm him down at all. It just helped Alto feel a little better about the whole situation.

"So, you lost your kid?" The same man from before came back, having brought himself a soda.

"Yeah, my friend lost his daughter." Alto answered, knowing Jack would just babble incoherently if he was left to answer himself. "She's tiny, runs everywhere and she has bright red hair. She wears glasses, too."

"Don't worry. Lots of parents lose their kids every day. They're always slipping away and getting lost in crowds. Where did you lose her?"

"The pretzel place. We called out for her but we couldn't hear her or see her, she's a prolific screamer."

"What we'll do, is reach out to security, tell them to keep an eye out for any screaming little girls and they'll find her very soon." The manager assured, though he still looked at Jack with a sense of haphazardness. It wasn't often sunburnt people with very strange hair and masks came in to his office crying about losing their children; but, whatever, there was a first time for everything. "How old is she?"

"Three and three quarters, I think." Alto nodded in reply.

"Yeah, that's right." Jack confirmed, looking up from his wet hands. "You'll find her, won't you? I'm so worried about her. I hate crying, I'm sorry."

"Of course, of course. Do you... need a tissue, or something?" The manager slid a box of tissues across the oak desk.

"Yeah." Jack spluttered through his own chokes, and Alto handed him a compounded wad of tissues, which Jack cleaned his face with before obnoxiously blowing his nose in the quiet of the room. "That feels a bit better."

"See? It'll be fine, she won't have gotten far." The manager soothed, then took a hefty swig of his soda. "That hits the spot."

He left the room, leaving Alto and Jack in the office together, alone.

"I'm so fucking angry at you." Jack muttered, but he couldn't help but lean in and reciprocate the kiss Alto was giving, though he was sure to make it short and bitter. This all felt too much like a bad dream to really... stay alert, and act accordingly.

"...Alto?" A familiar voice entered the room; it was Sabrine, she'd returned and had been looking for Alto for some time. "I'm not even gonna question this shit anymore."

She folded her arms and walked away, leaving Alto filled with a sense of guilt. He pulled away from Jack, and looked off into the distance wistfully, though he didn't chase after Sabrine. Let bygones be bygones, at least she broke up with him herself, like he wanted her to.

"Alto, what the fuck?"

"She just... appeared out of nowhere. She's not gonna tell anyone, I promise."

"Maybe we should stop." Jack whispered, pulling his hand away from Alto. "It's all too dangerous, look at what you're losing."

"It's not a loss if I'm with you. I promise."

"Do you know how stupid that sounds?"

"Yes! I know it's not... socially acceptable, but what am I going to do with these feelings for you, Jack? I can't bury them."

Jack looked away in shame and slipped his hand over his wet bottom lip to clear it. This wasn't the time to proclaim love. It wasn't, but he didn't have much choice, because Jackie wasn't getting any closer to him while he waited here.

"You know I'd die for you, right?"

"Yeah." Jack whispered. "I'd do the same."

"I love you, Jack. I really do. And I don't want to hide it anymore, I just want to love you."

"Not right now." Jack slid his chair away and stood back, bracing himself to leave and find his daughter. He had things he needed to worry about himself, and even if he wouldn't be able to find her, he still needed to look. So she knew he cared. "Just, not now."

Alto didn't reply but waved him off, focusing back on the wall and sighing over the loss of his girlfriend. He loved Jack, more than he could possibly imagine and yet he wasn't prepared to lose it all for him. But Jack was gone, now, and he was running through the mall to find his little girl. There wasn't as much time to talk as he would have liked.

Jack slinked down the stairs, the speed of a wild coyote overtaking his legs as he powered through the mall, looking for any traces of scarlet hair or screams and cries. He listened out, trying to sieve through the hordes of present voices, yet he couldn't siphon out the speech of his daughter. Maybe she had just gone quiet, or hidden herself somewhere remote.

A quietness struck him from the west, and he paced gently towards the muted area, padding on the balls of his feet towards where it was quiet, and where it seemed safe. He peered around the corner, hoping to see his daughter, but only seeing blank tiling and a site that commanded no entry, save for authorised personnel. He knew this feeling all too well, and yet this time it hit the hardest.

Someone tapped him on the red shoulder, very lightly. His whole body turned around, and he saw the person he thought he'd never seen again; Sabrine, and she commanded a look of much dignity and respect towards him. He hadn't expected that. Not only did she seem respectful, but she was holding Jackie by the hand, who seemed much more sunburnt, and scratched up.

"Jack, I found this little girl, and I think she belongs to you." Sabrine's face was stoic as it always was.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled, and Sabrine nodded sagely. She had never been a person of too many words, and he was glad, because now she had found his daughter, he felt especially guilty. He looked down at his found daughter and smiling. "And I'm sorry, baby girl, I should have never left you with Uncle Alto. It won't happen again."

"Lost." Jackie lisped, pointing to herself with one of her stubby, sharp fingers.

Jack knelt to her level and pointed, the same place she had but a moment before. "Found."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> notes 29/12/19 yo yo yo fuckers it’s ya existential regret bitch and holy fuck I am about to actually finish a fic because I have just finished the next chapter and it has to be edited but this also means I can work on the mfckin epilogue chapter and holy mcfuckersons i am so goddamn freakin habby rn holey shitbags


	11. Chapter Eleven: Present Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie and Alto come face to face with a not-so-pretend threat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy fuckin uhhhh 2020 take this and leaf

Jackie awoke, trapped and confined, screaming and kicking before Alto hushed her with a finger and compressed her to stop her from moving, or possibly dislodging the chip of concrete keeping them from being crushed.

"Jackie." He hissed, quiet as a mouse, but in the silent rubble it felt like a shout. "You have to stay as quiet as possible. Do you understand?"

She nodded, and she looked up at him, trying not to move too much. There was blood dripping down from his shattered helmet, staining his white tie red. She cringed at the sight and recoiled from the dripping scarlet flow, but he only coiled around her tighter. Fine powdering concrete filled her nose and clouded her eyes, and she resisted all urges to cough, like Alto had told her not to. Instead, she choked silently.

She suddenly regretted coming here. Everything had ended awfully, and her daddy wasn't here to protect her, and now she was going to be covered in blood when he did show up. Would mama yell at him? Would she be yelled at herself for letting him take her? All kinds of questions filled her head, many of which she didn't want to answer. Everything had just happened so quickly she didn't have time to fix it, and she was terrified.

The alarm screamed from above them, sending shivers down her spine. It's noise crawled from bone to bone, turning each one in to what felt like jello. She was paralysed, it seemed, and now she was really starting to notice Uncle Alto's blood dripping on to her back. But she didn't scream, as he asked. Fright and fear had gripped her far too much to make any kind of noise.

She looked to her right to see the floor beneath her, and to her right to see the rubble they were trapped under, and panic took over. Her breathing became heavier, but Alto fit one of his hands over her mouth and repeated his command; "Jackie, you cannot make a noise."

She nodded, she understood. She knew she couldn't make a noise, but she was frightened, genuinely, and didn't know how else to react.

 _I'm going to die,_ she thought to herself, quaking. There was a clatter of rocks and searching force in all the rubble, and she knew this was it, that some anomaly was going to find them and they were going to die. Morbid, but most likely true.

She curled up into the tiniest of balls as the rock covering them raised up, inch by inch, taking only seconds, but feeling as if it was in slow motion. She peeped from beneath her hands to see which one it was, if she'd heard stories about it, or if it was one she'd written about, like the monsters she saw in her room at night.

This figure was dark and hazy, with a light on its chest, flickering in the darkness. Maybe that was its mouth, maybe it was trying to communicate with that torch.

"I've found the Director and a child." Its voice was muffled and scratchy, and she silently begged for it not to kill her, but to let her have mercy. She could run fairly fast, and she was so small she wasn't worth much of a meal to anything. "The Director looks wounded, the child doesn't seem to be so."

Alto jerked upwards and took the small girl up with him, the blood still dripping, but he didn't have a visible cut, which Jackie found strange, but maybe not as strange as the wall caving in.

The shadowed figure pulled him up, Jackie holding on to her uncle's back for dear life, and herded them both through the rubble. The entire room had changed - it was now covered in a stringy black goo that paid special attention to certain spots on the walls. The room seemed lifeless; how much time had passed? Were they the only ones that had survived the wall caving in? There was a gaping hole where the ceiling used to be, and Jackie was shivering at the thought of what laid outside the safe confines of thick concrete.

Where was Jack? Had he been crushed? She didn't want to think about it - instead, as Alto crept through the arch to the elevator, she fixated on how her headphones were missing, but thankfully, her Walkman was alright. But... what use was it without her headphones? She'd have to get new ones if they'd been trapped in the rubble, which they seemed to be.

Mercifully, the elevator carried them up to the dark ground floor, and Alto was approached by a formally dressed woman who distracted him from the creature, a guard.

"Do you want a minute?" She asked quietly, and when Alto responded with a solemn nod she gestured him to a green chair and walked away. He sat, and Jackie jumped off his back and sat on the floor, cross legged.

"Your helmet is broken." Jackie pointed to Alto's smashed livelihood, and he simply smiled wistfully in return.

"I know." He said after a few moments, and he peeled it from his head in one piece, revealing his true face. Jackie hadn't seen it since she was very small, and it wasn't at all how she remembered it, but she wasn't really sure if she had ever seen his face in the flesh. She couldn't really make out discernible features in the dingy light, but he looked about how she would have expected him to, if she was entirely honest.

He looked heartbroken at the loss of his helmet, staring at it with a sense of longing in his coyote-like eyes. He'd been wearing it, without stopping, for years, but suddenly it was gone and irreparably destroyed. He cradled it for a moment, running his fingers over the shattered glass, and then slipped it on to the cabinet besides him.

"I'm sorry about your helmet." Jackie comforted, standing on her tiptoes to pat him on the back.

"It's okay, I've been meaning to get rid of it for a while now."

The woman came back in, and she took a look at Jackie before rolling her eyes, but Jackie couldn't help but notice her honey-coloured hair and the way it shimmered under the emergency lights. She looked down at the child strangely before focusing back on her superior, but watched with a confused look on her face as the little girl crawled up on to Alto again, having found herself comfortable there before.

"Director Clef. There has been an infrastructure failure and two skips have escaped containment; 106, and 173. The latter has been recontained, former's status and location are unknown." This woman got straight to the point, Jackie liked her.

"Then re-contain it! There are several specialists on site, I don't see what you're-"

"I understand your frustration, but a large chunk of our D-Class have disappeared. We have eight left, there is no trace of the other five hundred."

Alto was taken aback by the news, and buried his head in his hands, but didn't knock the little girl off his back. He scratched his head, noticing the blood but shaking it off as a byproduct of the situation.

"Where is Dr. Jack Bright?" Alto breathed out, stress filling his lungs with every inhale he took.

"Why, do you need his opinion?" She seemed willing enough to comply with the request, but still somewhat suspicious. "He's not site command, is he?"

"No, I need to return this little girl to him." He shook his head and looked up at the woman. "Just... take her to him if you have to. Is he even alive?"

"I believe confirmed alive a few hours ago. I will have someone find him, but what are we going to do?"

"Use one of the eight we have to lure it back in, it's the only choice we have." Alto sighed and stood up. "Our first call of action is to contain what's gotten out, and then we'll make decisions about everything else."

"I will get a containment team on it, Director." This obviously hadn't been the answer she was hoping for, but then, what answer could she have hoped for? To Jackie, it seemed like the most logical one; to fix the most dangerous problem before it got out of hand.

Or was it? There had been an infrastructure failure, and the building had caved in on itself, which had allowed the escape.

"Won't it breach again if the building has collapsed?" Jackie said, breaking the silence in the room. Alto didn't even try and stop her; did he think she was onto something? The woman looked somewhat interested in her now. "How is its cell?"

The woman considered for a moment, momentarily weighing up options before talking. "Not entirely destroyed."

"Then fix that one first. Then you can save your things."

"It's a little more than just 'fixing' it, though. We need someone that knows how to fix it, and it takes a while to fix."

"Why don't you have one?" Jackie furrowed her brow and looked up at the woman, really hoping to get a glimpse of her shiny blonde hair once more.

"We do, we just haven't found him yet."

"That's why I suggest a temporary containment. It'd be better to get the damn thing away from everyone else. Transfer it somewhere else for the meanwhile, perhaps." Alto lifted his chin from his hand, the wrinkle the unnatural position had left sticking out like a sore thumb.

"Director, I don't think you understand the severity of the damage. Everything is going to have to be transferred while the site is rebuilt."

"Good! That thing shouldn't be here. It needs its own site, damn it! Every two months it breaches containment, and the powers that be think it should be here, the most densely populated site they've got? It's ridiculous. I've got enough on my plate!"

"Yeah, that's kinda stupid." Jackie agreed, desperate to not be forgotten in the conversation's midsts.

"Thank you, Jackie."

"That's not something we can discuss the merits of. What we need is an action plan." The woman set the scene straight, but Alto looked at her with a strange conviction in his eyes as he thought of how to reply to her.

A sudden scream pierced the room; for the guard had crumbled under a single touch. A deathly silence overcame the darkness, and Alto sniffed around in the air. It was a familiar, sickly-sweet scent, kinda like... rotten molasses - or rot, in general. It was the guard, the guard had fallen, and in his place was 106, stood proudly in his slime and stagnating in his decomposing glory.

It took Alto less than a second to react. He leapt from his chair, swept Jackie off her feet and scrambled away with the urgency of a wolf trapped between predators through the slippy corridors, somehow not falling or dropping the screaming little girl caught in the surf of his arms. He did not listen to her and instead he kept running, his chest beating at an exorbitant rate, his muscles screaming and his headache even worse, but he couldn't have left Jackie there. 

Alto slid to a keypad and entered a code and barrelled into a room with the side of his arm, closing the thick door behind him. He bolted behind a desk and finally let Jackie go, who had kicked him so hard he thought it was going to leave a mark.

"Listen up, fucker, if you ever pull anything like that again I'll-"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Alto responded, pressing a finger to her lips. "I don't care if you can't cope, that guy we saw makes people rot by touching them. Your dad would fucking kill me if he knew you got that close to him."

"I thought we bonded over getting concussed by a rock. I hugged you."

"Yeah, and I don't want you to die because not only are you my boyfriend's kid, you're also a pretty chill person when you're not kicking people for trying to save your life." Alto folded his arms, then stood up. "I'm going to go get myself some rifles, and you're carrying all the ammo I need. Capisce?"

"Where are we?"

"We are about to enter the personnel storage room. There's normally someone that's here to authorise stuff, but she isn't here. It seems I'll just have to let myself in." Alto grinned with a glint in his eye and swiped his authentication card against the thick door to unlock it.

It was an absolutely huge room, taking visible moments for the lights to warm up and illuminate the warehouse in chunks.

"You keep rifles in here?"

"Five, to be precise. And my hat, I want my hat." Alto looked up in the air and searched the rafters for his

"But you've got a shit-ton in your office! I saw them! You put them on your wall."

"It's useful to have a few here."

"Why do you need a hat?"

"Male pattern baldness."

"You're not bald."

"Like you're tall enough to be the judge of that! What are you, four foot? I'm six and a half foot tall."

"Only a two foot difference, you absolute moose!"

"I fuckin' wish I was a moose! I'd fuckin' love having antlers!"

Jackie imitated a moose, her arms up besides her head. Alto keeled over in laughter and high-fived her 'antlers,' unable to focus on unlocking his floor-length locker with a four-letter pin. Still laughing, he keyed it in and revealed to Jackie his extensive weaponry; not only were there rifles, but there were pistols and shotguns and revolvers of all kinds, backed up with seemingly endless boxes chock-full of cartridges of various calibers.

"Behold, my pride and joy!" Alto exclaimed, gesturing through the racks of firearms. "Well, actually, the best of my guns are in my office, but they're good as gone right now."

"I've never seen so many." Jackie was filled with a strange marvel at the weaponry.

"You ever shot a gun before, Jackie?"

"No."

"Think you can handle a gun?"

"As long as you don't tell my mom."

"Sure, I won't." Alto selected a small revolver from his collection and fitted it in to the girl's small hand. "This is a revolver."

"I know. Mom has a Remington."

"You don't use it unless I'm reloading and we're about to die."

"Okay." Jackie nodded and pulled the cylinder from the gun's main body, eyes clocking six different bullets.

"Remember, Jackie; this is, objectively, an absolutely terrible idea! However, it might save our lives."

"Yeah, I'll take that chance."

Alto motioned for the child to sit with her back against the heavy wooden desk and joined her when he could see she had assumed a comfortable position, as to not impede on her space.

"Alright. Now what we do is we hole up behind this desk and we wait until we can leave, basically. I clock out at six thirty, it's about... four, I think? I don't know, I left my goddamn watch in my office." He folded his arms, rifle down by is side for just a moment, before continuing to grasp it posessively. He felt an innate need to be alert; some primal instinct told him he would need to fight soon.

"We seriously have to stay here until six? But there's a guy that can rot your skin by touching you! You'd think the hours could be a little more flexible!"

"You don't know the half of it, Jackie. If I leave without clocking out, they assume I'm dead and axe my pay! If I clock out early, I get in trouble!" Alto sighed and looked to his side to see the child mimicking him, holding the small revolver against her chest. He could only imagine it gave her some sort of comfort to copy - she probably thought he was strong and could keep her safe. He hopes he could, if not for the girl's sake, or even for Jack's sake, but for his own.

"The dickheads..." Jackie muttered, still peeping at the heavy revolver in her tiny hand. It was hard to keep her finger around the trigger in its wooden girth. "I guess the pay is probably pretty good though."

"Oh, fuck yeah. Science... normal science doesn't pay as much as this shit does. That's cause most people die on the job. I think it's something stupid like... sixty seven percent of employees die within the first ten years. Drops off after that." Alto coughed and brushed a speck of dust off one of his heavy rifles. "The prerequisites are insane though. You gotta be top of your field, you gotta impress them. You have to be specialised as fuck and only then do you have to get under their radar."

"How'd you do it?"

"My mom. She worked for the Global Occult Coalition in her prime, I used to work there too. That's how they found me. Do you know what the Global Occult Coalition is? Has your dad ever told you?"

Jackie raked through the hordes of memories she kept, though the name didn't strike a chord in a single one. "No."

"It's kinda like the Foundation, but they like to dispose of the anomalies instead of y'know, contain them. They kill them, or try and destroy them instead." Alto explained, keeping his focus on the child before realising he should probably peep past the desk - which he did, but he saw nothing. "I guess it's a lot deeper than that, actually, but on a surface level, that's, I guess, what it is."

"Why did you leave?"

"I killed my daughter's mother in the early sixties and knew I had to leave." He spilled suddenly, and looked down at Jackie anxiously to thankfully she was unfazed by his ability to forget who he was talking to. He hadn't even told Jack that little tidbit, afraid he would become overly protective of his daughter and shut him off. He liked talking to her somewhat, she seemed to put up with him much more than some other people. "Don't tell your dad."

Truth be told, she reminded him of his daughter when she had been young. Sure, the girl had been a lot younger than Jackie when she was taken in by the Foundation, but kids that age were hard to deal with. A little strange, just like him, and he loved her father, too. It was like picking up where he'd left off with his own daughter a few decades prior.

"That fucking sucks." Jackie sighed. "And I won't. Secret's safe with me."

"Yeah, it did fucking suck. Right in front of her as well. Like, if I took Jack, and..." He mimicked shooting himself in the head, flicking his wrist swiftly. His eyes widened and he looked towards the small girl. "I wouldn't, I wouldn't! I promise."

"What, you wanna be my dad?"

Taken aback for a moment, Alto blurted out a strange sentence. "I don't fucking know! You wanna be my daughter?"

"As long as you don't kill any of my parents!" Jackie replied, waving her heavy gun in the air.

"I can do that."

"Okay, dad." Jackie affirmed harshly, and looked over at Alto for approval. He was lost in some kind of consideration about the small ordeal.

"That sounds weird, can you come up with something else?"

"Uh... pa?" Jackie raised an eyebrow while suggesting. It was the only name she hadn't really assigned yet. There seemed to be so many different names for mothers, and yet nearly none for fathers in comparison.

"That'll do it."

"What was the Global, uh, what was it again-"

"Occult Coalition?" Alto filled in her sentence; she'd trailed off rather than stammering. Maybe she struggled with paying attention too.

"Yeah, that. What was it like?"

"I mean, my first day was a little more tame than this. They gave me coffee and donuts and a cute chick kissed me. You got thrown in at the deep end, kid."

"What else did you do?"

"Uh, I was the most prolific agent they had, highly skilled in combat, killed everything they told me to. I used to kill a lot of things outside of work, sometimes I just got angry and lashed out, I'd kill people if they, y'know, looked at me wrong. I ended up in the Foundation's grasp after a failed raid on Site 19, the Director took me hostage and ended up taking me under his wing. I guess he thought I had the capacity to be a good person." Alto was quiet, reserved in his diction - which was somewhat unnerving, or at least a little unusual - and Jackie quietly listened in return with a certain wiseness in her blueish eyes. He realised who he was talking to after a moment and he shook the understanding between them off. "Why am I telling you this stuff? You're fucking ten. You shouldn't know this stuff."

"Yeah, but it's not like I'm gonna tell anyone."

"It's not just that, it's all a little heavy for a kid to handle. It was heavy to handle when I was doing it, and I was the person behind the goddamn trigger. I used to stay awake at night and try and recount the faces of the people I had killed, it was horrible." Having confided in her earlier, he thought it could be okay to get quite deep with her. He knew she'd understand, and even if she didn't, it was nice to get it off his chest. "I mean, all this is a little heavy for a kid, too. I bet you woke up today expecting not to be cornered by a man that can fucking dissolve you, or to get concussed, or to be holding a gun."

Jackie nodded in agreement, eyes fixated on a small scar that laid above his eyebrows. Alto didn't quite know if Jackie had really paid attention, or even registered that he'd been speaking to her, uninterrupted for at least a minute or two.

"What's that mark on your head?" She moved her hand upwards to poke the mark with her small finger, her sharp nail, bitten to the quick, digging in to the small ridge and peeling away the tiniest bit of skin.

"Huh?" Alto took a moment to process what his newfound... daughter... was pointing to on his head, realising it was the faint mark he'd been blessed with as far back as he could possibly remember. "Oh, it's been there since I was a kid. My mom always said it was a third eye of sorts, that one day it would open and I'd inherit some great power from it. I have no clue what that power is, or when it's gonna open. It's just kinda... there. She did tell me, but I wasn't fuckin' listening, of course."

"Maybe it's just a birthmark."

"I take it you don't believe in magic, or fate?"

"Uh... I don't know, actually. It's all... strange. Haven't made a decision." Jackie mumbled, before sniffing around with her head in the air. "Do you smell that?"

The scent of wet, ploughed dirt filled the air, and while Jackie didn't know what it was, but Alto did almost immediately. There wasn't any time to react with anything but a quick movement; he swept the child next to him in to his arms, flung her on to his back and ran as fast as he could in the other direction, in to the dark warehouse. The perverse scent tailed him as he ran like a wild dog down the warehouse's main channel, backed up against the wall as much as he could and cocked his rifle, aiming to kill.

106 limped lifelessly in his direction, that helpless, rotting smile permanently smeared across his mucous covered features seemingly widening under the dingy halogen lights of the warehouse. He may have been old, but he knew he had a good catch when he saw the helpless man and his child accomplice cooped up behind the thick desk.

Searing bullets, from a rifle and revolver, pierced and fizzled in 106's skin - with little impact on the way the old man stumbled and hobbled across the wide clearing. He wasn't going down, despite the interference of their gunpowder and their gunmetal. He was still hungry, still vying for food, prey just across from him.

Alto was shooting, and Jackie was joining him, wincing every time she heard a deafening shot. She was close to tears, no, she was crying, and she wanted all of this to be over. She was terrified. The bullets were doing nothing, they didn't even faze the old man walking towards them.

"I've had just about enough of this stupid fucking bullshit!" Alto cried, dropping his weapon, and with a bold swish of his arms to his left the old man flew in to the lockers on the corresponding side, and restrained through translucent binding he couldn't burn his way through. Anti-Matter, to be exact.

Alto didn't like to bend reality to suit his will, but hell, it worked so well. It always made his head hurt, and it made his eyes feel like they were going to pop out their sockets, and sometimes he even got an aura from doing it, which wouldn't go away for hours. Worst of all, doing it always gave him an uncontrollable desire to fuck about with things in the worst way possible. Fill 106's head with teeth? Smear him in peanut butter? Crush him with lockers? In general, smash shit to pieces? It sounded all too fun when his brain pulsed with the little bit of reality that would enter him in return for taking it away.

Today, he knew he had to stay a little responsible. He looked down at Jackie, who'd slinked down on to the floor after Alto had bent reality. The room felt hazy now, unsettling. It would regain its familiar feeling in a little while, when the reality replenished itself to some extent, or at least, made its way out of Alto's head.

"Okay. You don't tell people that I can do that. They don't like it." Alto nodded at the girl, and she just looked up at him as if he had three eyes in return. "Capisce?"

"I don't wanna know you can do it."

"That's understandable. Do you wanna go find your dad now?"

"Please." Jackie mumbled, and she let Alto lift her up again, on to his back. "Please tell me you know where he is."

"No fucking clue, Jackie. But we'll find him."

"I've had enough of not knowing shit. I've had enough. I just want my fucking dad, and I wanna go to bed and I wanna drink some mother fucking apple juice." Jackie shook her head as Alto absentmindedly dragged her past the old man in a piggy-back, looking around for Jack. "Where did he even get to? Dad can't run."

"Glassy would have been the last one to see him, I think. Last that we know of. I'll take you home if we can't find him, don't worry." Alto stood under the frame of the door, and looked back at his... daughter, ish. He could live with it.

"You're a horrible babysitter, Alto." Jack's voice echoed from in front of him. "You let my baby hold a gun?!"

"Oh, she did more than hold it." Alto deflected Jack's concern nonchalantly and smacked his coiled up hand away. "She shot it too. She's got a pretty good aim."

Jack was unable to stay angry for too long, and he kissed Alto, pressing their foreheads together, surprised to not feel cold glass against him, but soft skin and even softer lips. He hadn't felt this in a long time - maybe some ten years or so, since Vegas - and while he wasn't quite sure why Alto wasn't wearing his helmet, the kiss was nice.

"So, what to do now?" Jack stroked over Alto's bare face and made himself an obstacle - he hadn't the temper to blindly follow Alto around any more.

"I would say, go find the van, and go home." Alto suggested, tugging Jack's soft arm forwards and forcing him to walk, all while feeling the velvety exposed by his rolled up shirt.

"Sounds good, darlin.'" Jack replied, and he turned to the little girl who had been mindlessly playing with one of the tabs attached to her sleeves. It was a new one she had darned on a few nights before; a fuzzy navy velvet she had snatched from one of her absent mother's dresses. "How's my little scientist?"

"I'm not dead, dad!" Jackie yelled enthusiastically, and reached out for him. Jack plucked the girl from his lover's back and cuddled her. He felt much warmer than he had been this morning, fuzzy like a rabbit or a blanket.

"You survived your first containment breach, look how brave you are." Jack petted his daughter's fluffy hair and kissed her on the head. "I'm so proud of you, honey."

"We, uh, lost her headphones in the breach. She needs a new pair." Alto coughed in the smoke and dust clouding the entrance of the facility. He held Jack's soft hand tight and escaped with a step in to the heavy sun, just about to set.

Both men sighed deeply at the sight of genuinely natural light, hands unlinking, the first they had both seen since the morning of that day. The grimy windows, covered in the dust of the fallen concrete, had blurred the light so much it no longer felt human. Alto looked back at the fallen splendour of his site and huffed, a small portion of his blonde hair flicking up in to the air. It was nothing that couldn't get fixed with his nearly endless budget.

Jack, however, was looking over his similarly powdery daughter and traced over a bloody mark on her head lightly. "You clearly need your coat washed! Look at how filthy you are!"

"It's not my fault, I got concussed!" Jackie interjected with urgency. She didn't really want to be chastised by anyone, she'd had a hard day and was just about done with anything anyone had to say to her. "We were looking for you, and, and we thought you were down in that sub-level-three place, and I crossed the room all by myself, and then the damn thing caved in!"

"For future reference, Alto, I stay for my whole session with Glassy." Jack looked back at Alto with a look of slight vehemence on his face.

"No you don't." Alto scoffed and looked back in disbelief. He checked over Jack's facial expressions and drew himself back in to his body with a sigh and smirk of regret and oncoming embarrassment.

"Yeah, I do. That's where I was when the fucking building crumbled."

"We probably should have checked there, yeah. But to be honest, who stays with him for that long? He's a fucking bore." Alto shrugged and looked Jack up and down.

He was ashy himself, a fine grey layer of dust resting over his scarlet hair and nestled in his stubble. His shirt looked as if it had been mangled by the rollers of an office chair and his tie had been gobbled up by some machination, and his usually pristine white coat had clearly vanished some time ago. His daughter had gotten comfortable and rested over his shoulder, eyes slightly shut.

"We should go home." Jack smiled and began to edge towards where his van should be, Alto quietly trailing behind in an attempt to hide his blush. "Forget clocking out. We'll survive without it."

Without a moment's hesitation, Alto grasped on to Jack's hand tightly and kissed him - on the lips - in broad, bright daylight, instead of in darkness, decay and death. Jackie had recoiled from them both in disgust and watched only to annoy them, but this time it seemed as if neither man's eyes were open, or even their senses tuned in to anybody but the other person.

Alto hated public displays of affection, mostly; he thought the best way to show love was intimate, between two lovers with the curtains drawn and candles on, perhaps some romantic hits and a momentous amount of space cleared up for waltzing and eventually, foreplay. This, right now, was different for him. He didn't initiate it because Jack needed a kiss - in fact, Jack seemed to not really need or want anything from him - he did it because he wanted to. The sun felt nice on his face, and Jack felt natural against him; welcome and wanted.

Jack pulled away, not scared someone was watching him, ready to spill their secret, but instead simply needed to catch his breath, and maybe check where his daughter had gone. She had disappeared around a bush - a loud yelp beckoned him to her side.

While Jackie stuttered, mouth agape at the sight, Jack only stared and sighed. The van had been crushed by a behemoth chunk of dense concrete; the windscreen and bonnet were unrecognizable. Jack looked away, back to Alto, and pretended he hadn't seen his destroyed van.

"Jack, I think that your girlfriends are gonna be pretty fuckin' mad at you for taking her here... so, maybe you should come over mine instead. We can call it a weekend thing, say you had a day off and you took Jackie out to spend some time with her uncle."

"That's bullshit, but I'll take it." Jack nodded in agreement. "They are gonna be so mad."

"Y'know what? None of us have eaten much all day. You never ate your hamburger. Do you wanna go for food first?" 

"What, like a date?" The redhead smiled and stepped towards his boyfriend.

"Exactly like a date! I haven't taken you out in god knows how long, and look at you!"

"Y'know, they're gonna start rounding us up soon." 

"All the better reason to go now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha theyre gay :) havent even started the last chapter yet so yalls gonna wait awhile haha :) i am so fucking tired


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